The Gambler
by ZenoNoKyuubi
Summary: NaruHarem. Naruto gets saved from death by a deck of cards at age five. He is then taken as an apprentice by the Sandaime. --COMPLETE--
1. Chapter 1

**Yo! Here's the first chapter of my new fic, The Gambler! This is something i'm just going to write on if i'm waiting for a lemon or having writers block on my other fics.

* * *

**A five year old boy was running down the streets of Konoha, crying his eyes out. Why was he crying? Because he had a mob of drunk villagers and some shinobi after him. Today was October 10th, exactly five years after the attack of the Kyuubi. The villagers thought that they should finish what the fourth started by killing the "fox". Naruto had just purchased a deck of cards in hopes of being able to play alittle with the Hokage on his fifth birthday. Alas, that didn't seem to be an option right now.

Naruto suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of his right leg, forcing him to fall flat on his face. On closer inspection he noticed that there was a kunai sticking out of the back of his thigh. Not one to surrender that easily, Naruto forced himself up on his feet to continue running. He barely made it 100 yards before he felt the same pain in his left leg, forcing him once again to fall down. He didn't make it up in time before the mob quickly surrounded him.

"Nowhere to run now you little demon!" shouted one of the villagers.

"P-Please! Don't hurt me! I haven't done anything to you!" Naruto begged as he tried to get up, only to recieve a kick to the face.

"Yes you have! You killed hundreds of people five years ago you little demon! Don't act like you don't remember!" shouted the villager who had delivered the kick. "But tell you what. I'm going to be mercyfull today and finish you off fast." he said and held up a kunai. Naruto watched in horror as the knife decended upon him. All he felt before he blacked out was a sharp pain in the chest.

Naruto opened his eyes weakly, only to quickly close them again as he was greeted by a blinding white ceiling.

"Am i dead?" he asked himself with a raspy voice.

"No Naruto. You're perfectly fine. You're in a hospital." said an aged voice to Narutos right. Naruto quickly opened his eyes and turned to the direction of the voice.

"Jii-chan!" he exclaimed seeing the smiling face of the Hokage. "How can i still be alive? That knife hit me in the chest." he asked and subconsiously put a hand on his chest.

"Yes it did. But it didn't reach your heart." said the Hokage and held up a deck of cards with a pierce mark in the middle. "It seems that this deck was in the way, stopping the kunai just before it hit your heart." he said and Naruto started scratching his head.

"But how is that possible. Those are the cards i bought today. But i didn't put them in my chest pocket. I had them in my pants." Naruto said making the Hokage raise an eyebrow.

"Are you sure about that Naruto-kun?" he asked and Naruto nodded.

"100 percent old man. I know because i scratched my hand on my keys when i put them there." the boy said and looked the Hokage in the face with a grin. "It seems Lady Luck came to my rescue, doesn't it?" he asked and the Hokage chuckled.

"That it does Naruto-kun. That it does. Now on to other matters." he said and turned serious. "It appears that you cannot defend yourself properly and it is unsafe for you to live on your own. Therefor, i have decided to let you move into the Sarutobi household and take you on as my apprentice." the Hokage said making Naruto go wide-eyed.

"A-Are you serious old man?" he asked and the Hokage nodded. Naruto got a HUGE smile on his face before glomping the Hokage, shouting a loud "YATTA!!" that could be heard all over the village. Once the Hokage had managed to get out of the death grip, he walked over to the door with Naruto following.

"Now Naruto. Are you ready to come with me?" the Hokage asked and Naruto nodded but before he left the hospital room, he turned around and picked up the deck of cards.

"This will be my good luck charm from now on." he said before leaving with the Hokage.

* * *

10 years later (I know, i know. "Why such a long timeskip?" Because i don't want to go in on Narutos training, except for the recap that comes now.) 

The old Hokage was sitting in his office, watching as Naruto walked towards the academy with a smile on his face through the crystal ball. Why was he smiling? Today was the day he would become a Genin.

In the ten years Naruto had been training with the Hokage, he had learned lots of things. He had mastered the tree climbing, the water walking, the leaf balancing and kunai balancing chakra control exercises, he had excellent Taijutsu skills, average Genjutsu and excellent Ninjutsu. His preferred weapon of choice was his huge amount of playing cards. These playing cards were made of chakra paper (The paper that allows you to see your elemental affinity.) and the same material one Hoshigaki Kisames sword is made of. Naruto would pour the Kyuubis chakra into a card, making it highly explosive. He had invented three techniques with his cards and one technique where he uses dices.

The Hokage chuckled as he remembered when Naruto found out about the Kyuubi.

_Flashback no jutsu five years ago!_

_Naruto and the Hokage were sparring when Naruto remembered something, making him stop what he was doing._

_"Ne, Sarutobi-sensei." he asked and the Hokage raised his eyebrows, indicating that he was listening. "When i was attacked five years ago, one of the villagers said that i had killed hundreds of people ten years ago. What did he mean by that?" Naruto asked and Sarutobi sighed._

_"I knew this day would come." he said and sat down on a bench. "Sit down Naruto-kun." he said and motioned for Naruto to sit down next to him, which he did. __"Now Naruto-kun, remember what happened ten years ago?" Sarutobi asked and Naruto nodded._

_"Yeah, the Kyuubi attacked right?" Naruto asked._

_Sarutobi nodded. "Yes, you may have heard that the Yondaime killed it, but that's not true. No mortal could kill a bijuu. He did however seal it. He sealed it inside a newborn baby boy. That boy was you Naruto." he said and looked to see a shocked Naruto._

_"So that's why everone hates me..." Naruto said quietly after a few minutes of silence. "They all think i'm the Kyuubi. But i'm not right?"_

_"No you're not. It was the Yondaimes final wish that the village should see you as a hero, but sadly, he underestimated the power of hate. I tried my best to make the villagers not hate you but i failed. I could only do the next best thing. I made a law, stating that should anyone of the older generation tell the children about the Kyuubi, they would immediatly be executed." Sarutobi said and Naruto nodded slowly._

_"Then i just have to show them that i'm not the Kyuubi, but Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage!" Naruto exclaimed pumping his fist into the air._

_Flashback no jutsu: KAI!_

Naruto calmly walked into the academy, ignoring all the glares sent his way by the teachers. He thanked Lady Luck for letting him only be in the academy for the exams. He stopped outside the designated classrom, waiting for the teacher to let him in as he knocked.

Umino Iruka was standing infront of the class, ready to start the exams when he heard a knock on the door. When he opened, he saw a fifteen year old blond kid with black steel toed boots, black cargo pants and a black trench coat. On his bare chest he had four card tattoos. Ace of Diamonds, Ace of Spades, Ace of Clover and Ace of Hearts.

"Yo! Sarutobi-sensei told me to give you this." Naruto said and handed Iruka a piece of paper before stepping into the classroom.

Iruka read the paper and nodded before closing the door and taking his spot infront of the class.

"Okay class! This is Uzumaki Naruto. He will be joining us for the exams." he said and all the students were outraged.

"WHAT?! That's bullshit! Why can he just come in here and take the exams when we've had to endure six years just sitting behind a desk?!" yelled a boy with a small dog on his head.

"Because i was privatly taught by the Hokage." Naruto said in a bored tone making the class go wide-eyed. When no one said anymore, Iruka motioned for Naruto to take a seat. Naruto sat down on the bottom row, next to the boy with the dog before pulling out a deck of cards that he spread around on the desk causing everone, including Iruka, to lean over to see what he was doing. He closed his eyes and randomly pulled out a single card from the spread around deck.

"Ace of spades and i'll pass." he said to himself and opened his eyes to look at the card. When he turned it over, everyone were on the egde to see if he got it right. The card turned out to be... Ace of Spades! Naruto smiled to himself before gathering all the cards again. "It seems Lady Luck smiles upon me today." he said.

"That's bullshit!" exclaimed the boy with the dog. "I bet the whole deck is full of Aces!" he said and Naruto smiled before showing him the cards to reveal a perfectly legitimate deck.

"I never cheat." he said simply and put the cards back into the coat inner pocket. "At least not when gambling."

During the years, Naruto had become a huge gambling addict. He gambled so often that he could rival Tsunade of the Sannin. The only difference was that Naruto actually won when he gambled. Anko had vowed to never play strip poker with him ever again.

"Okay then! Let's begin the exams." Iruka said and started handing out papers. Naruto has never believed in destiny or fate or shit like that. He did however believe in Lady Luck. She seemed to have been on his side his whole life. How else would he survive all those beating he had recieved? Needless to say he aced the exams. (I've decided to leave Mizuki out of this. He's not a teacher in this fic.)

Now Naruto was calmy walking back to the Sarutobi estates when he bumped into the purple haired number one scariest Tokubetsu Jounin, otherwise known as Mitarashi Anko.

"Good day Anko-chan." Naruto said making the kunoichi turn around.

"Naru-chan! Long time no see!" she exclaimed with a grin.

"Yes. It's been a year hasn't it?" Naruto asked and Anko nodded.

"Yes. I believe we haven't seen eachother since that poker game." she said with a pout. "I really lost big time huh?"

"Yeah... But technically, you also won."

"Oh? How exactly did i win by taking my clothes off?"

"You got to see me get knocked out by a nosebleed." Naruto said and Anko grinned.

"Oh yeah! I completely forgot about that!" she said and puffed out her chest. "Who knew that you couldn't stand seeing these?" she asked and grabbed her breast and jiggled them around making Naruto blush.

"Please stop doing that." he said and looked away.

"Why? Are you uncomfortable?" Anko asked and hugged him from behind, pressing her breasts against his back.

"No not at all. It's just that i might pass out again." Naruto said and Anko let go.

"Aww, you're no fun." she said and Naruto grinned, pulling out a deck of cards.

"I could be fun if you decided to play a game of poker with me." and at this Anko marched of. But not before shouting a "NEVER!"

* * *

**So what do you guys think? The concept of the whole exploding cards is based of Gambit from Xmen. And no. I don't own neither Xmen nor Naruto.**

**R&R!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! It's me again. It seems alot of you like this fic so here's chapter 2! Now I'm not good so good at japanese so the jutsus that I've invented might have the right words but they might not be in the right order.**

**And as some of you may be wondering: Yes he will have a Bo staff.**

**And to Author's Note: They're 6 sided DICE. Thanks for correcting me.**

**Now I just want to get through the Wave arc as fast as possible, so if you think that it's badly written then you know why.

* * *

**The next day

Naruto was sitting in his classroom waiting for Iruka while playing a game of poker with Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba. When Iruka came in, he silenced the class with his Demon Head jutsu.

"Alright class. I will now announce the teams. Team 1... (Team 1-6 are unimportant. Let's skip those.) Team 7, Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura and Sai. Team 8, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino. (Team 9 is unimportant too.) Team 10, Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino. And lastly we have Uzumaki Naruto. You've been taken as an apprentice by Mitarashi Anko." at this Naruto mentally cheered.

'YES! SHE'LL NEVER ACCEPT ONE OF THOSE STUPID D-RANKED MISSIONS!' he yelled in his mind. 'And maybe I can get her to play a game of strip poker with me again... kukuku.' he thought with a mischievous grin making Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba hop away from him.

"Iruka-sensei! Why do he get special training and not me, an Uchiha?" asked Sasuke with that oh so arrogant face. (I hate him! I want to tear that smirk right of his face!)

"Because I like that brat better than you." Anko said as she stepped into the classroom. "Naru-chan." she said and looked at Naruto. "Let's go."

Later we find Naruto and Anko sitting in a dango stand, eating that holy food of the gods.

"Naru-chan." Anko said between bites. "Have you made your first kill yet?"

"Yes I have." Naruto said as he continued munching.

"Good. Then I don't have to see you freeze or something in battle." she said and Naruto stopped eating.

"Anko-san. We're not going to do any stupid D-rank missions right?"

"What? No! Never ever! The purpose of D-ranks is to train teamwork. And since we know eachothers abilities pretty well, we don't have to do shit like that." Anko said and Naruto cheered. "We'll start with C-rank and then work our way up." she said making Naruto groan.

* * *

It had been two months since Naruto started doing missions with Anko. He had shown that he was highly capable of doing missions that were alot harder than C-rank, so now he was heading into the Missions office after a completed A-rank. When he stepped in he saw the Hokage currently being scolded by a pissed off Sakura. 

"Oi Jii-chan! Mission complete!" Naruto said as he handed the Hokage a scroll that he and Anko were sent to collect.

"Ah, very good Naruto-kun. And where is Anko?" the Hokage said while Team 7, minus Sai, were staring at the bloodied Naruto in shock.

"She said that she hadn't had dango in two weeks, so she needed to catch up." Naruto said and the Hokage chuckled.

"Very well, now that you're here, she'll have alot of time to eat." Sarutobi said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"How so?"

"Because you'll be going along with Team 7 here" Sarutobi said and gestured for said team. "on a C-rank mission to Wave country."

"C-RANK?!" Naruto shouted in disbelief while Sasuke smirked. "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE A C-RANK?!"

"Afraid that you'll die blondie?" Sasuke asked with a smirk.

"No. I'm afraid that i'll kill you people in pure boredom." Naruto said wiping Sasukes smirk off his face. "Come on old man, don't do this to me... Don't you have at least a B-ranked or something?"

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun, but this is your punishment for forgetting your kunais and shuriken out in the rain three weeks ago." the Hokage said making the pink haired banshee and the duck butts eyes widen in disbelief.

'A C-rank is his punishment?!' they yelled in their minds in perfect unison, not that they will ever know that.

"Fine... I'll go tell Anko..." Naruto said slouching his shoulders, all the while muttering about "Decriept old fools."

"Wait! You have to meet your client first." the Hokage said and gave a nod to Iruka who opened the door. In came a man with a bottle of sake in his hand. (I'm not going to discribe him since you all know what he looks like.)

"Is this what i get? They look like they'll wet themselves at the first sign of danger." the drunk said.

"Don't worry sir. I'm more than enough against a couple of bandits. Otherwise we have Kakashi-san here. He's a jounin." Naruto said with a smile.

"Whatever. I'm Tazuna, you're going to escort me back to my country and guard me until I finish my bridge." Tazuna said taking a sip of sake.

"Very well." Kakashi said and turned to his team. "Go pack and meet at the north gate in 30 minutes." he said before disappearing in a poof of smoke.

"Then I'll just have to tell Anko that I'll be gone. Ja Ne." Naruto said and disappeared in a swirl of fire.

When he showed up at the dango stand, he found Anko once again eating that divine food, not stopping for anything.

"Oi Anko!" Naruto shouted and waved at the girl, who just waved in response.

"I'm gonna be gone for a couple of weeks." he said when he sat down next to the kunoichi making her stop and look at him.

"Why?"

"Because the old man is sending me on a C-rank with Kakashis team." Naruto said Anko pouted.

"Fine, but make sure to kill one for me." she said and returned to merrily eating her dango.

Naruto smiled. "Will do." he said with a mock salute before disappearing in a swirl of fire.

One hour later we find Naruto, Tazuna and team 7 waiting for the ever so tardy Kakashi. After another 15 minutes and a loud "YOU'RE LATE!" from the pink haired banshee, they were on their way to Wave country. (I'm gonna skip the Demon brothers fight. You all know how it goes. Sorry!)

After walking for a bit Naruto felt a small chakra source in the bushes. Of course being the ninja he is, he sent a hail of kunai towards the source. When he poked through the bushes he saw a scared to death rabbit cowering against a tree.

"Damn. Kawarimi." he said to himself before Kakashi heard the distinct sound of something flying through the air.

While shouting a quick "GET DOWN!" he grabbed Tazuna and hit the deck with his Genin team following suit. (Naruto was in the bushes, out of the area where the sword would slice.) The sword embedded itself in a tree with a man appearing, standing on it.

"Oh? Copy Ninja Kakashi? No wonder the Demon brothers lost." the man said with a grin.

"Momochi Zabuza. Demon of the Hidden Mist." Kakashi said and put his hand on his headband before turning to the Genin. "Stay out of this fight." he said and pulled up the headband to reveal his Sharingan eye.

"Oh? I get to see the Sharingan this early? I'm honored. I'll take care of you later." Zabuza said and jumped down and landed gracefully after dislodging the sword. He put his right hand in a half ram seal infront of his face and his left hand in the air in a half ram seal.

"Ninpou: Kirigakure no Jutsu (Ninja Arts: Hidden Mist technique)." he said and a thick fog rolled in. (You all know how his battle went.)

Now Kakashi was trapped in the water prison.

"Take Tazuna and run! This battle ended the moment I was caught! You can't win against him!" Kakashi shouted through the water.

"No way dude! That guy has a 50,000 dollar bounty on his head. If you think that I'm just gonna let that go then you're wrong." Naruto said and took a scroll out of his pocket. "This fucker's mine." he said and smeared some blood on the scroll. A metal staff popped out of the scroll. Naruto grabbed it and rushed the Mizu Bunshin (Water Clone) that Zabuza had created.

The clone was surprised at the speed of this blonde kid. The clone franticallytried to cut this kid in half but he was just too fast. Naruto jumped over a swipe and slammed his staff into the clones head, turning it into a puddle of water. He then focused his on the real Zabuza and charged.

When the blonde arrived, Zabuza had already taken out his sword, ready to cut the brats head off. He tried a diagonal swipe, only to have Naruto jump over it and him. As soon as Naruto landed he had to hold up his staff to block a crushing blow from above. The weapons clashed, sending sparks flying. Naruto felt his arms give in.

'Shit!' Naruto thought and jumped back. 'He's physically stronger than me so close combat is out of the question. That leaves Ninjutsu' he thought and reached into his trench coat to take out a deck of cards. When Zabuza saw this he let out a laugh.

"What's this? Do you wanna stop fighting and play a game?" he asked and Naruto shook his head before throwing the deck into the air and making a couple of handseals. When he was done he smiled and called out his jutsu.

"Ninpou: Ame no gojuuni Karuta (Ninja Arts: 52 card rain. That's mine XD)!" he shouted and the cards froze in mid air and got pumped full of wind chakra before flying straight at Zabuza.

Zabuzas eyes widened when he saw the cards flying towards him. "SHIT!" he shouted before dodging to the left, but not fast enough to dodge the first twentyfive cards completely.

So here he was now. Sliced up body, the Copy Ninja free and glaring and a crazy blonde kid with flying, and painfull, cards!

"What the hell were those cards?" he asked the blonde who smiled.

"These cards are my pride and joy!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin. "I can make them explosive, burning, rock hard or simply really, really sharp."

"Good job Naruto. I didn't know you had that in you." Kakashi said and tried to stepped forward but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't. I still have more tricks up my sleeve." Naruto said and started doing handseals again.

"Oh yeah? What kind of trick is that?" Zabuza asked with a grin which Naruto mimicked.

"Look below you." he said simply before finishing his seals. "Ninpou: Kibaku Chouhan (I think Chouhan is dice. Ninja Arts: Exploding Dice)!" he called and Zabuza looked down to see two (6 sided) dice on the ground.

"SHIT!" he shouted again when the dice started glowing before exploding.

A burned and sliced Zabuza stood next to a tree, trying to regain his balance when four kunai hit him. One on each limb.

"Here's where you die." Kakashi said as he landed on a branch with a kunai in his hand. He never got a chance to throw it though since two senbons came flying out of the foliage and struck Zabuza in the neck.

"Well look at that. He did die." A kiri hunter-nin said standing on another branch. "Thank you for wearing him out. I've been hunting him for three weeks now." the hunter-nin said and shunshined down to the "corpse". "I must dispose of this body, it holds many secrets. Good bye." and with that, the hunter-nin disappeared with Zabuzas "corpse".

"Well then, let's continue." Kakashi said before passing out because of chakra exhaustion.

* * *

**Maybe that didn't suck to bad. Now i want to bring up two things. My friend said that i would never get any work done if i try to write on all of my fics at once and suggested that i put them on hiatus while writing one at the time.**

**Now, do you want me to write on this one or one of the others?**

**And should Naruto get the toad summoning contract or an OC contract. If OC then please give me an idea of a character. They should have the same gambling addiction as Naruto.**

**Do the bidding of the great ZnK! R & R!**

**Just press the button. ----------V That one.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! I'm back again. Now for starters I would like to describe Narutos, call them "gambling jutsus" if you will.**

**Ninpou: Nihyakurokujuu Karuta no Mai (Ninja Arts: Dance 260 of playing cards).**

**In this jutsu Naruto slams 5 decks of playing cards into the ground. The cards travel underground and surrounds the opponent. The cards he uses are made of the the same material as Kisames Samehada, meaning: it drains the opponents chakra. The cards shot out of the ground, forming a dome around the victim where it then proceeds to suck the victims chakra until he/she is completely dry. These cards are also charged with the Kyuubis youkai, making them highly explosive.**

**Weakness: Drains alot of Narutos chakra and there are no cards underground.**

**Possible escape: Doton: Shinjuu Zanshuu no jutsu (Earth Element: Headhunter technique).**

**Ninpou: Ame no gojuuni Karuta (Ninja Arts: 52 card rain).**

**In this jutsu Naruto throws a single deck of cards into the air, pumping them full of wind chakra, making them super sharp. The cards freezes in mid air where they aim for Narutos designated target.**

**Weaknesses: Can't maneuver the cards once they take off, easy to dodge.**

**Certain escape: Dodge.**

**Ninpou: Karuta no Kaiten (Ninja Arts: Card Rotation).**

**Naruto throws a deck of youkai charged cards into the air and put them into rotation with wind chakra. The Karuto no Kaiten is based on the Hyuugas Hakke no Kaiten (Heavenly rotation), meaning that they start to spin around Naruto, forming an impenetrable shield around Naruto.**

**Weaknesses: Same as Nihyakurokujuu Karuta no Mai.**

**Possible attack route: Same as Nihyakurokujuu Karuta no Mai**

**Ninpou: Kibaku Chouhan (Ninja Arts: Exploding Dices)**

**Naruto can charge 1-4 dice with youkai and a 3 second fuse. The power of the explosions are determined by the number the dice show. He throws them at the victim who thinks that it's just some kind of trick because of the fuse and then: BOOM!**

**Weaknesses: None**

**Possible escape: Dodge.**

**Oh! I've picked a summon... Drumroll please... (Insert drumroll here.) Gambling Panda bears and Grizzlys! The summons will be described and categorized, if you will, at the end of the chapter.

* * *

**Naruto was peacefully eating dinner at the Tazuna residence after Kakashi explained his theory about Zabuza being alive when Inari decided to have a bitchy breakdown. 

"Why do you try so hard?! You're just gonna die anyway!" he shouted at the blonde gambler who looked up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment, before answering.

"Umm, no I'm not." he said and Inari started bitching again. (Sorry if you're disappointed at me for not writing his long rant but I really don't like Inaris bitching.)

When Inari finished his ranting, Naruto bit his thumb and drew the blood over his palm.

"How about a bet brat?" Naruto asked while performing some seals.

"A bet?" Inari asked confused.

Naruto slammed his palm into the floor before shouting "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning technique)!" and a poof of smoke appeared. The smoke disipated to reveal a 2 foot tall, black grizzly cub wearing a red Kimono with the Kanji for "Odds" on the back. Naruto grinned at the memory of how he got the contract for this summon.

_Flashback no Jutsu!_

_A 13 year old Naruto was sitting in a small house in a lodging town just 2 miles out of Konoha with five men in their mid twenties, one of which was a former Kusa(Grass)-nin._

_Naruto looked at his cards. "All in." he said with a smirk._

_"Shit! I don't have enough money for that..." The Nuke-nin muttered before snapping his fingers. "Hey kid! You're a ninja right?" he asked and Naruto nodded._

_"In training, yes. Why?" he asked and the Kusa-nin smiled before unsealing a large scroll from a smaller one._

_"I'm the holder for the bear summoning contract. And judging by your tattoos, you're a gambler. They're huge gamblers as well so I think you'd get along perfectly, so tell you what. I'll bet the bear summoning contract on this one. You win and you get my money and the contract, I win an I get your money... and your coat." the Kusa-nin said._

_Naruto thought about it for a moment. He really liked his coat... After a few moments of thinking he nodded._

_"Okay. Show me what you got." he said with a smirk and the Kusa-nin showed his cards to reveal a Four of a kind, Tens._

_"Sorry." Naruto said before showing his hand. "Four of a kind, Jacks." he said with a smirk freezing the Kusa-nin._

_The Kusa-nin just sat there for a few minutes, just staring at Narutos cards._

_A loud "FUUUCK!!!" scared the Hokage shitless as he sat in his office reading Icha Icha paradise, Volume 5. He chuckled alittle after regaining his composure._

_"Hehehe. It seems Naruto has won something quite interesting to be able to make someone scream like that." the old Hokage said before continuing reading._

_"H-H-How? W-Why?" the Kusa-nin asked while crying his heart out. "M-My sake money!"_

_"You don't seem so upset about losing your contract." Naruto said as he sealed the summoning contract into a scroll of his own._

_"I-I don't care about those stupid bears! All they care about is gambling, money and booze! They don't even like me. B-But... MY SAKE MONEY!" the Kusa-nin said before breaking down again. Naruto pitied the nin and looked up in the ceiling._

_'What do you want me to do my lady?' he asked his goddess in his head. A coin fell out of the pile, off the table and stopped infront of the Kusa-nin. Naruto sighed. 'So it's like that huh?' he asked the goddess and sighed again. He crouched down infront of the Kusa-nin._

_"I'll buy this contract from you with the money I had and won." he said and left the building leaving a stunned group behind._

_Two days later Naruto was standing on an open field, intedning to summon the boss to gain his permission to summon his kind. He bit his thumb, smeared the blood on his palm and performed the seals._

_"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" he shouted and slammed his palm into the ground. A HUGE poof of smoke appeared, revealing a Gamabunta sized panda dressed in a black kimono with the kanjis for "Booze, Gambling and Money" on the back._

_**"Who summoned me?"** The panda asked with a booming voice._

_"I did." Naruto said as he jumped and landed on the pandas nose._

_**"You? Stop bullshitting me! A youngster like you can't summon me, the great Bakuchiuchi (Professional gambler)!"** the panda shouted with a laugh._

_Naruto smirked. "Wanna bet?" he asked and the panda stopped laughing._

_**"A bet? Okay. What's the bet?"** he asked with a raised eyebrow... (Do pandas have eyebrows? I don't think so...)_

_"If I manage to summon you again, you'll accept me as your summoner. But if you win, I'll buy you all the sake you can drink." Naruto said making Bakuchiuchis eyes widen before narrowing._

_**"All the booze I can drink?"** at Naruto nod the panda chuckled. **"Fine. Prepare to be ruined kid."** he said before disappearing in a poof of smoke. Naruto once again went through the seals for the summoning and summoned Bakuchiuchi again. Once the panda was summoned Naruto fell down on one knee._

_"Puh, summoning the boss twice really takes alot out of you."_

_**"Well I'll be damned... Alright. I'll accept you as my summoner and inform the bear clan that we have a new summoner. But before I leave I have two questions."** he said and Naruto nodded._

_"Shoot."_

_**What is your name and do you like gambling? Everyone who wishes to summon us must practically worship the three taboos of a ninja."** Bakuchiuchi said and Naruto chuckled._

_"My name is Uzumaki Naruto and yes, I love gambling. How do you think I ended up with your summoning contract?" Naruto asked and Bakuchiuchi shrugged._

_**"Meh. You could have got it from anywhere. Now if there's nothing else, I'll just be on my way then, Ja Ne!"** Bakuchiuchi said and once again disappearing in a poof of smoke, leaving an exhausted Naruto on the ground._

_Flashback no Jutsu: Kai!_

The grizzly cub waved lazily at Naruto.

"Yo! Hisashiburi dana Naruto!" he said and Naruto smiled.

"Hisashiburi Gyakusan (I think that means Calculate.)! I need you to calculate the odds of something for me." Naruto said and the grizzly nodded.

"Okay. Give me the info." Gyakusan said and took a pen and notebook out of his kimono. Naruto turned to Tazuna.

"Okay Tazuna-san. I need you to tell me about Gatos forces. How many thugs does he have and are they samurais, ninjas or just hired muscle?" Naruto said and Tazuna put a hand to his chin while Narutos temporary team, Inari and Tsunami just looked at Naruto wondering what he was up to.

"Hmm... I'd say that he has about 200 thugs, samurais and hired muscle." Tazuna said and Naruto and Gyakusan nodded, with Gyakusan writing it down on his notebook.

"Okay." Naruto said and turned to Gyakusan. "Add to that, that he has hired an A-rank nuke-nin. Momochi Zabuza and an accociate of his that is on a slightly higher level than Zabuza. Now tell me. What are the odds of me and my team losing against those numbers?" Naruto asked and Gyakusan looked up at him.

"I don't know. Who's on your team?" he asked and Naruto pointed at Kakashi.

"Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi and three unexperienced Genin." he said and Gyakusan nodded before writing the info down and calculating the odds.

"Oh? Hatake Kakashi? The dog pack speaks very highly of him." he said making Kakashi blush slightly at the compliment. Not that anyone could see it. "There. The odds of you losing are 50:1." he said and Naruto nodded while looking at Inari.

"Okay brat. I got then bucks here that says that I can kill Gato and his thugs without dying." he said and was stopped from saying anything else by Gyakusan who tugged on his pant leg. "What?" Naruto asked and Gyakusan looked at his notebook.

"You didn't say anything about dying. With your healing, I have to make a whole new calculation." he said and tore the page of his notebook. Twenty seconds later, he was done and looked up. "The odds of you dying are 250:1." Gyakusan said and Naruto nodded.

"Okay. Inari. 10 bucks saying I can kill Gato and his thugs without dying." Naruto said and Inari nodded and reaced into his pocket to fish out his money but was interupted by Tazuna.

"Wait a minute. What are the odds of you winning." he asked and Gyakusan looked at his notebook.

"2:1." he said and Tazuna nodded.

"Wait. What's up with the odds? I don't get it." Inari said and Naruto sighed.

"Okay. If you, for example, bet 10 bucks that I die, and i do. You win 250 times the money, meaning 10 times 250 equals 2500 bucks. If I win, I win 20 bucks." Naruto said and Inari put 20 bucks on the table.

"Fine. Put show me the money first, so Gatos men don't rob your corpse before I get them." he said and Naruto chuckled before taking out his wallet, pulling out 2500 bucks.

"Deal." Naruto said and extended his hand. "Now until the bet is cleared, I don't want to hear any bitching from you okay?" he asked and Inari nodded before shaking Narutos hand.

"Deal." and with that he left the room.

"I'll hold the money." Tazuna said with a hungry look in his eyes and reached for the money before getting smacked in the head with a frying pan.

"No way! I'll hold the money. You'll just spend them on sake!" Tsunami said and grabbed the money while Tazuna rubbed the sore lump on his head.

One week had passed an Naruto was currently sitting on the bridge with a human sized panda wearing a blue vest with the kanji for "Money" on the back, playing a game of poker with the grizzly, Kamoganegiwoshottekuru (Along comes a sucker just begging to be parted from his money) or in short, Kamo (Sucker), losing big time.

"Hey, Kamo. I've been thinking." Naruto said and the grumpy cigarr smoking bear looked up.

"Oh really? I thought I smelled something burning." he said with a glare.

Naruto chose to ignore the insult. "Seriously. Your name really fits your poker skills." he said with a smirk, making Kamo grabbed the crate they used as a table and throw it into the water below.

"Fuck you man!" he shouted and flipped Naruto the bird. "I don't need to take this shit from you!" and with that, Kamo disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"Hehehe. Sore loser." Naruto said and gathered the scathered cards before making a bunch of Kage Bunshins to help Tazuna with the construction.

One week later Naruto was sleeping soundly after a wild night of drinking and gambling with his bears. Team 7 had decided it would be best for him to sleep in so they left him there while they went to the bridge. He woke up from the sound of screaming coming from the kitchen. Now let's see here... Hangover plus sunshine plus loud screaming... Not a good combination. Needless to say, Naruto sat up straight before falling out of bed after getting hit straight in the face by Mr. Sun.

'Damn the sun to hell!' he shouted in is mind while holding his pounding head. 'Wait a minute.' he thought after a while. 'Screaming? That can't be good.' he thought an looked out the window to see two samurais getting ready to turn Inari into little pieces. Narutos eyes widened. 'Oh SHIT!' he hought before jumping out the window and planting his foot into the face of one of the samurais. He landed gracefully before blurring out of view and appearing infront of the other samurai with his foot firmly planted in said mans groin. The samurai gave off a little girly squeal before Naruto quickly snapped his neck.

"SHIT!" he shouted after tieing the other samurai up. "If they came here, then Zabuza must already be on the move!" he shouted and rushed upstairs to grab his coat and kunai pouch (Naruto passed out the previous night before he had the chance to take off his pants). When he came down he poked Inari on the forhead. "Your 20 bucks are mine!" he exclaimed before rushing off towards the bridge.

When he got to the bridge he saw Sasuke inside a dome of ice mirrors while Sai was fighting some kid with green hair and Kakashi fought Zabuza. The hunter-nin who had created the dome of ice mirrors poked his head out of one of them to chage Sasuke again when a card came flying towards his head. He managed to pull his head back just in time for the card to make a deep gash in his mask put the force of the wind chakra forced him out of the mirror and he landed flat on his face.

'A... card?' the Hunter-nin thought before quickly rolling to the left to see four more cards lodging themselves to the ground, right where his head, chest and shoulders would have been had he not rolled away. 'Ah, crap.' he thought when he saw two dice landing infront of him, showing one dot one each.

"Snake eyes. You lose." was all he heard before the dice exploded, sending him flying into Zabuza who was just preparing to chop Kakashis head off.

"Haku, what the hell?!" Zabuza asked when he before he saw the blonde kid from before. "Oh no..." he said with a sigh and his eyes closed. "You know, I thought that i had heard about you. Now I know who you are." he said making Naruto raise an eyebrow. "Konohas Cardshark." he said making Kakashi gasp. "What? You didn't know that you had Konohas Cardshark travelling with you?" Zabuza asked incrediously before turning to Haku and the green haired kid. "Fuck Gato. We can't win against this guy." he said and his partners nodded before all three of them shunshined away.

"Oh? It seems that the demon of the Bloody Mist was nothing more than a scared little chibi devil." came a voice from the end of the bridge. Naruto and Kakashi looked to see Gato standing there with all of his thugs behind him. "I wasn't even going to pay him anyway. So I'm not really losing anything. He has tired you people out and now I'll just let my men here finish you off." he said and expected the shinobi to flee at the sight of his "army" but to his surprise, the blonde kid laughed.

"What's so funny you little brat?" he asked the blonde who frowned.

"You're calling me little? You're the shorter one of us." Naruto said and grinned. "And the funny thing is that I just got here." he said with a smile. "And Kakashi here is a Jounin, he won't be worn out that easily." Gato was getting scared and was just about to bark out an order to attack when he found that his windpipe was being block by a crad lodged in his throat. He just gurgeled before falling to the ground where his body twitched alittle before slumping. "And that takes care of him." Naruto said and put his hands behind his head.

"Hey! You just killed our meal ticket!" One of the thugs shouted. "How are we supposed to get payed now?!" he asked and another one of the thugs decided to speak up.

"Let's kill these fuckers and then raid the village!" he yelled and all the thugs cheered before charging. They stopped when an arrow landed infront of them. They looked up to see every single villager standing on he bridge with wielding kind of make shift weapons with Inari in the front holding a crossbow.

"You will not take one step into this village ever again!" Inari shouted and the villagers gave out battle cry and scared the shit out of the thugs.

"Let's get the fuck out of here!" they shouted to eachother bfore leaving in their little boats.

When Inari came up to Naruto, said boy just held out his hand, palms up. Inari looked to see the words "Pay up sucker!" tattooed on his palm. "I want my money and the 20 bucks you owe me." Naruto said and Tsunami came walking towards them.

"I got the money right here." she said and handed them to Naruto who happily accepted them.

"Know this Inari." Naruto said making the boy look up at him. "I always win my bets." he said and turned around to walk towards his temporary team.

* * *

**I'll stop here. I bet you didn't see that one coming huh?! No, I'm not going to kill off Zabuza and his two partners Haku and the green haired kid whos name shall not be spoken... for now. Now as for the bear summons.**

**Boss: Bakuchiuchi (Professional Gambler)**

**Panda, black kimono.**

**Kanji: Booze, Money and Women.**

**Size: Gamabunta size.**

**Weapons: Claws, fangs and an uchiwa (fan).**

**Personality: Happy go-lucky drunk/gambling addict.

* * *

****Name: Kamoganegiwoshottekuru (Along comes a sucker just begging to be parted from his money) Nick: Kamo**

**Panda, blue vest and rise hat.**

**Kanji: Money**

**Size: Human, 176 cm**

**Weapons: Claws, fangs and staff.**

**Personality: Grumpy teamperamental sucker, has never won anything his entire life, hence the name and nickname.

* * *

****Name: Gyakusan (Calculate).**

**Black Grizzly, red kimono.**

**Kanji: Odds.**

**Size: 2 foot tall.**

**Weapons: Claws and fangs.**

**Personality: Kind brainiac, never picks a fight, doesn't gamble that often, mostly calculate odds for other members of the clan.

* * *

If you have any ideas for any other bears or pandas, please PM.**

That's all for now, Ja Ne!

R&R!!! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey... Not much to say...**

**Oh yeah! I got new summons too!**

**Now, the bears only gets their name and Kanji when they've gotten a certain trait, like; personality, weapons or size. Blackjack for example: He's named BlackJack because that's he only game he plays and his Kanji is "The House" because he's as big as a house and always wins, except for when playing with Naruto. The House always wins.

* * *

****Name: BlackJack**

**Panda, black vest, black bandana and spiked bracers**

**Kanji: The House**

**Size: Gamabunta size**

**Weapons: Claws, fangs, Baseballbat and Wakizashi**

**Personality: Cocky, Temperamental, Badass and plays only blackjack.

* * *

****Name: Tsunade (Named in honor of the female sannin)**

**White grizzly, pink kimono, pink bracers**

**Kanji: Gamble**

**Size: 200 cm**

**Weapons: Claws, fangs and brass knuckles.**

**Personality: Grumpy, has a drinking problem and sucks at gambling

* * *

Name: Chou **

Panda, red haori.

Kanji: Odd.

Size: 4 ft.

Weapons: Genjutsu user (Together with Han).

Personality: Cold and all in all almost completely emotionless, doesn't like Naruto.

* * *

Name: Han 

Panda, blue haori.

Kanji: Even

Size: 4 ft.

Weapons: Genjutsu user (Together with Chou).

Personality: Kind, caring and loyal, never refuses Naruto.

* * *

Name: Sake 

Sun bear, red coat

Kanji: Sake

Weapon: Steel barstool, Drunken fist master

Personality: Drunken personality, alcoholic

* * *

Now Naruto has gotten the name "Konohas Cardshark" during his missions with Anko, basically because he his very strong and uses cards. That's it, he didn't get it during one battle like in most fics where he gets nickname. It's just that those lucky souls who do survive an attack from him, run around telling people about his skills and weapons.

**Enjoy chapter 4!

* * *

**It had been a month after the mission to Wave and Naruto couldn't be happier to get back to doing A- and B-ranked missions! Naruto had finally managed to get Anko in on a game of strip poker again. She lost of course. And Naruto lost alot of blood... Again.

"How do you do it?" Anko asked as she and Naruto were walking towards the Hokage tower.

"Do what?" Naruto asked with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head.

"Always win."

"I don't know really... When I play I just feel like the bets I make are the right ones. I don't _know_ when I'm about to make the wrong bet. I _feel_ it." Naruto said making Anko raise an eyebrow. "It's as if gambling is a part of me. I understand the games so well that I basically know what cards are about to show up."

"...Okay..." Anko said as she watched her "apprentice". The reason she chose Naruto as her apprentice is because there is nothing she can teach him, and he's been training with the Hokage, thus showing hat he's unfit for measly D-ranked mission. She hates D-ranked missions.

When they got to the Hokage tower they found the Jounin senseis for the Rookie 12 coming out of the Hokages office. They walked in to his office were he had just started taking out his Icha Icha when he saw Naruto and Anko standing in the doorway.

"O-Oh! Naruto-kun! Anko-chan! What are you doing here?" he asked and hid his book again.

"Don't worry Jiji. If we don't kill Kakashi for reading that book then we definatly won't kill you." Naruto said with a smile letting the Hokage let out a sigh of relief.

"As for why we're here, want a one day mission mission." Anko said and the Hokage nodded.

"Very well. But as you know Anko-chan. The chunnin exams are tomorrow and team 7 is missing a member." the Hokage said and Anko nodded.

"I know, I'm a proctor after all." Anko said with a grin. "How about it Naru-chan? Wanna become a chunnin?" she asked and turned to Naruto who was already at the Hokages desk asking for the permission slips. Anko sighed. "I'll just take that as a 'yes'." she said and walked over to the Hokage. "When does it start?" she asked making the Hokage raise an eyebrow.

"You don't know? You're a proctor aren't you?" he asked and Anko rubbed the back of her head, laughing nervously.

"N-Not really... I kind of forgot... And I'm not a proctor for the first exam anyway." she said making Naruto and Sarutobi sweatdrop.

"Anko... If you would've said that first then you wouldn't have had to say that you forgot. You could have saved alot of face." Naruto said making Anko freeze before slumping her shoulder.

"Damn..." she muttered and the males sweatdropped again.

Sarutobi coughed lightly before speaking. "Anyway... You're supposed to meet outside the academy at 10 am tomorrow." he said and smiled at Naruto. "Good luck." Naruto smiled back and nodded before leaving the office.

When he was gone Anko turned to the Hokage. "Does he ever show you any respect?" she asked and Sarutobi sighed.

"Sadly... No." he said before smiling. "Or at least he doesn't really adress me properly, but I think that's his way of showing respect." he said and Anko nodded before bowing and leaving. The Hokage sighed before taking a scroll out of his desk and started writing. When he was done he called in Kotetsu. "Take this to Kakashi and tell him that his team can join the chuunin exams." he said and Kotetsu nodded. Once he was gone the Hokage sighed before pulling out his smut, giggling perversly while reading. "Oh Suki, you're a bad girl." he giggled before turning the page.

The next day Naruto was standing out in the sun waiting for his "team". When they showed up he gave them a greeting in the form of a nod. "Well, it looks like we'll be working together again huh?" he asked and Sakura gave a nod while Sasuke just Hmph'ed.

"Let's go shall we?" Naruto asked and started walking into the academy. Once there they saw two guys standing infront of the door, beating a guy in green spandex.

"Don't cry about it." said one of the guys who had a runny nose and spiky hair. "We're doing you brats a favor."

"The chuunin exams are dangerous." said the other guy who was wearing a bandana and had a smug look on his face. "You could get killed if you're not ready."

"Hell, even we've failed 3 times." said the spiky haired one.

Sasuke, being the showoff he is, decided to step forward. "That's nice, but you will let me pass and remove that genjutsu. We're going to the third floor." he said with an arrogant smirk. He turned around when he heard a smack again skin to see Naruto with his face planted firmly in his own hand.

"Baka! If you knew that then why didn't you just walk past them and let these losers stay here and fail?! You just raised the lowered the odds of us passing!" he said and removed his hand from his face to smack it against the back of Sasukes head. Sasuke just grumbled before walking up the stairs.

When they got into the designated room, the Rookie 12 were talking amongst eachother while Naruto was looking around for people who might be a challenge when he saw a red head with the kanji for 'love' tattooed on his forehead and dark ring around his eyes. The boy was literally oozing killer intent. He turned to the Rookie 12 in time to see a silver haired boy with glasses dodge a punch from a hunched over guy with his face covered in bandages. He didn't bother to listen to what 'Bandages' said since there was an explosion of smoke in the front of the classroom.

"EVERYBODY TAKE A NUMBER, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP BEFORE I FAIL YOU ALL!" came a booming voice that Naruto knew belonged to his arch enemy, Morino Ibiki. Why was Ibiki Narutos arch enemy? Because Ibiki has a pokerface that seems like it's carved out of stone. Naruto had lost one hand of poker his whole life and that was against Ibiki. Ibiki was now considered an idol amongst Konohas poker players.

Naruto quickly went through the test. He was done after five minutes. 'Hmm, fiftyfive minutes to spare until the 10th question... What to do?' he thought. He snapped his fingers before biting his thumb.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu." he mumbled and put his hand on the desk before summoning the two pipe smoking pandas Chou and Han.

"Uzumaki! What the hell are you doing?!" Ibiki shouted when he saw the two pandas.

Naruto just put his wallet on the table. "I've already answered the questions and now i was about to ask my friends here if they wanted to play a game of 5 card draw poker with me." Naruto said and the pandas immediatly took out their own wallets. "Wanna join us?" Naruto asked and gestured for the empty spot infront of him. "Just grab a chair and sit down."

Ibiki thought for a moment before grinning. "Fine. Prepare to be ruined Uzumaki." he said and forced an examiner to stand while Ibiki stole his chair.

"Yeah, what Scarface said." the red wearing panda named Chou said earning him a glare from Ibiki and a sigh from his sister.

"Otouto. You should call people names like that. You might've hurt his feelings." Han said in a soft voice while Naruto was dealing the cards.

"Onee-chan. Look at his face. Anyone who's been through enough to get scars like that don't go running home, hugging a teddy bear while crying from mere words." Chou said and Naruto started chuckling. "What's so funny?" Chou asked as Naruto continued chuckling.

"I was just imagining what it would look like if he actually did that." Naruto said as he wiped a tear from his eye. Everybody in the room who had been listening to the conversation looked at Ibiki, imagining what he would look like before the entire crowd broke out into a giggle fit. "See? They think it's funny too." Naruto said and gestured for the crowd.

Ibiki just stared at Naruto with an icy glare. "Just play." he said simply before looking down at his card.

After fifteen minutes of playing, Naruto had finally figured Ibiki out. 'I see... He shuffles his cards when he bluffs.' he thought with a smirk. 'This is gonna get easy from now on.' Needless to say, 40 minutes later, Ibiki, Chou and Han were ruined with Naruto cackling like a madman.

"Ano, Ibiki-san." said an examiner.

Ibiki turned to him. "What?" he asked with a pissed off voice and an aura that screamed 'PISS ME OFF AND YOU'RE DEAD!'.

"A-Ano... I-It's time for the final question." the examiner said before slinking back to his previous spot, thanking Kami for not getting killed.

"Oh, right." Ibiki said and turned to the genin in the room. "I'd like to go over the added rules for this question." he said with the death aura still around him. "I'll now explain the rules of desperation."

"Now first for this 10th question, you must choose whether you will take it or not."

"Choose?!" yelled a blond Suna kunoichi with four pigtails. "What happens if we choose to not take it?!"

Ibiki smirked. "If you choose to not take it, you and your team automatically fail." he said and all the genin started shouting.

"What does that mean?!" and "Then of course we'll take it!"

Ibiki kept his smirk. "Now for the other rule. If you choose to take it... And answer incorrectly... That person will lose the right to ever take the chuunin selection exam again." he said freezing the entire class.

"What kind of stupid rule is that?!" shouted Kiba. "There are guys here who've taken the exam before!" to their surprise Ibiki started chuckling.

"He he he. You guys were unlucky. This year it's my rules that count. But I'm giving you a way out. Those that aren't confident enough can choose not to take it and try again next year." he looked around the genin. "Those that don't wish to take the question, raise your hand. Once your number is confirmed, take your team and leave."

Lots of genin started raising their hands. After a while Ibiki looked at Naruto who sat there with a coin in his hand. "What about you Uzumaki? Feel confident enough to take it?" he asked Naruto who shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll put my outcome in the hands of Lady Luck." he said and flipped the coin into the air. He grabbed it in the air with his right hand and placed it on the back of his left hand with his right keeping it hidden from view. "Heads and I'll take the question, Tails and i quit." he said and removed his right hand to look at the coin. Every genin in the room were looking at Narutos left hand. "Heads. I'll stay." Naruto said and crossed his arms and leaned back.

Another five minutes of waiting passed and a couple of more genins quit. "Anymore quitters?" Ibiki asked and looked around. Seeing no one raising their hands Ibiki nodded. "Good. For all of you that stayed. You pass." he said simply shocking the entire class.

"What?!" Sakura shouted. "What about the 10th question?"

"There never was a 10th question. Or you could say that the choice whether to take it or not was the 10th question." Ibiki said with a grin and proceeded to explain about what it means to be a chuunin (Sorry about this skip. I can't remember what he said).

When Ibiki was done explaining, a ball of cloth flew in through the window. Two kunais flew out, sticking the cloth to the ceiling. There was a writing on the cloth. It said 'THE SEXY AND SINGLE MITARASHI ANKO' Naruto raised an eyebrow at this.

"This is no time to slack off you maggots! The hard part starts here!" Anko shouted and stood up straight. "What? 78? You're getting rusty Ibiki. Anyway, I'm the second proctor, Mitarashi Anko. We're heading to training area 44 ASAP! Follow me!" she shouted and jumped out the window.

'This is Narutos sensei?' Sakura thought with a sweatdrop.

All the genin filed out of the room with Naruto staying behind. Chou disappeared in a poof of smoke while Han stayed, climbing onto Narutos shoulder. Naruto walked up to Ibiki and gave him his money back.

"You're giving it back to me? Why?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

"I knew you'd do some psychological torture so I decided to take all your money, pissing you off, thus giving you that lovely aura of death." Naruto said with a grin. Ibiki chuckled.

"Well it worked. Thanks kid." he said and Naruto nodded before leaving with a shunshin.

Now Naruto was standing infront of training area 44 with the rest of the genin.

"Welcome to training area 44, also known as 'The Forest of Death'." Anko said making several genin gasp. "You'll soon find out why it's called that." she said with a bloodthirsty grin.

Naruto started mimicking her. "'You'll find out'. Come on! I thought you'd have something better than that. You're not scaring anyone." and the moment he said that, he saw Anko throw a kunai towards him. He could've dodged it, but chose not to. He figured that this was another attempt from Anko to scare the rest of the genin. It worked. The kunai whizzed passed his head, making a small cut appear on his cheek, then she shunshined behind him, put a kunai to his throat and licked the blood off.

"Your blood tastes good." she said taking another lick.

Naruto grinned slyly. "I don't think that's the only part of me that tastes good." he said making Anko blush. She straightened out and shook off the blush.

"Ahem... Okay smartass. You hand out these consent forms." she said and gave Naruto a stack of papers making said boy pout.

"Naruto-kun... That was very dirty of you." Han said and Naruto scratched the back of his head while handing out the papers.

"Sorry about the Han-chan." he said and gave another genin a paper. "I just couldn't come up with another comeback line."

Han sighed. "Just please don't say anything like that infront of me again."

When Naruto got to the end of the line of genin he found a shimmering item on the ground, on closer inspection he found that it was a gold locket in the shape of a heart. On the back there was an inscription. 'To my little angel. I'll always be with you.'

"Now I'm going to explain the second test, then you can sign the forms. Once you've signed them, you hand them in to the booth behind me to get your scroll." she said and pointed to the booth.

"What scroll?" Sakura asked.

"I'm getting to that little girl." Anko replied "Now. Half of you will get a "Earth" scroll and the other half will get a "Heaven" scroll. There are no rules as for how you will obtain the scrolls, though to pass the exam you need both scrolls and all of your teammates alive and kicking. You have to get to the tower that's in the middle of the forest, about 10 kilometres from the gates. You have five days. Good luck." she said before muttering under her breath. "You're gonna need it."

Naruto quickly signed his consent form and waited for his team to sign it. They handed the papers over and recieved a "Heaven" scroll (I don't remember which one they got).

Once everyone got a scroll they were standing infront of their designated gate. Naruto was standing at gate 12 with his team when his sensitive ears picked up a silent sobbing noice. 'What the hell?' he thought and turned to his team. "Wait here, I'll be right back." he said and started walking in the direction of the sound. He had walked about 50 yards when he saw Anko frantically searching through her pockets.

"No, no, no! It can't be gone! How could I've lost it?!" she yelled to herself hysterically with tears streaming down her face.

"Lost what Anko-chan?" Naruto asked as he walked up to her.

"My locket! The locket my mother gave to me!" Anko yelled making Naruto smile and look up at the sky.

"You meant for this to happen right?" he asked the sky making Anko stop searching her pockets.

"What are you smiling about?!" she yelled and Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out the locket he found on the ground (Everyone who knew that was gonna happen gets a cookie... an imaginary cookie).

"Is this it?" he asked and held out the locket before being grabbed in a bonecrushing hug.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Anko kept repeating into his chest. "W-Where did you find it?" she asked once she regained her composure.

"I found it when I handed out the consent forms. Lady Luck must've wanted me to find it."

"You know that you're talking about fate now right? Not luck." Anko said and Naruto shook his head.

"No. I'm talking about luck. I was lucky enough to get the paper duty, finding the locket and hearing your sobs. It was all luck, not fate." Naruto said with conviction in his voice. "I refuse to believe fate. By the way, why is that locket so important?"

"This is the only thing I have left from my mother." she said sadly. "Orochimaru destroyed everything else. He said that bonds make you weak. This is what I managed to save. Thank you."

"No problem."

"How about I thank you by buying you some... dango when this exam is over?" she asked with a grin.

"Mitarashi Anko, are you asking me out on a date?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe. Would you mind?"

Naruto grinned. "Not at all! Now I think I have to go back to my gate." he said making Ankos eyes widen.

"Oh yeah, the exam!" she shouted and started running. "See you later Naruto-chan!"

"Yeah." Naruto replied before running back to his gate. "Thank you my Lady." he said to the sky.

Meanwhile, in heaven.

"HA! Naruto-kun believes in me! Not you!" Lady Luck shouted to her redheaded friend.

Fate pouted "So? Why would I care what a puny mortal thinks of me? Granted, a very hot and strong mortal, but a mortal none the less!" she responded with a blush.

Lady Luck grinned. "Maybe I should pay him a visit soon... That would be a shocker for him. But it seems he's already taken by that Anko woman." she said and turned to her friend. "Fate. Did you have anything to do with Naruto-kun finding that locket?"

Fate shook her head. "No. Why would i bring those two together?"

Lady Luck put a hand on her chin. "Maybe Kami-otousan had something to do with it. And i wonder if that Anko woman is willing to share." she said with a perverted grin.

* * *

**And there's chapter 4! So what do you think? NaruXAnkoXLady Luck?**

**Vote on it. Though you should know that Lady Luck isn't allowed to interfere to much with Narutos life so she'll be jounin level everytime she comes to earth. That is if you want her to come to earth.**

**R&R!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys!**

**Alot of people wanted a foursome... Oh, how i love our perverted earth! Hurray for perverts! Go on. Give yourselves a pat on the back. Now i say once again. Naruto got his nickname from all the battles he's won with the help of the jutsus he made. Kakashi didn't exactly get his name through some grand battle right? No!**

**So it will be a Naru/Anko/LL/Fate pairing. Fate will be appearing later.**

**Oh, I'm also borrowing a bit of a dialog from Pirates of the Caribbean. And yes. I know that the genin are supposed to be 12. But I think it's just wrong to write a lemon featuring a twelve year old.**

**Oh yeah! Sorry Kairomaru! I forgot to give you credit for Chou and Han. Anyway, thank you Kairomaru!**

**LL will be meet Naruto in this chapter.**

**Now on with the chapter!

* * *

**Naruto was not happy. He and Han had first been separated from his group and then eaten by a giant freaking snake!

"What would be the odds of this happening?" he asked Han as they were forced further down the snakes stomach. "Han. I need you to dismiss yourself. I'm gonna use an explosive card okay?"

"Okay Naruto-kun. See you later." Han said before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out a card from one of his many decks. He started pumping it full of youkai before smiling.

"HEART BURN!" he shouted before detonating the card. The snake exploded into tiny pieces, sending a smoking Naruto flying. 'Well, that was a bad idea.' he thought as he layed on the ground waiting for his burns to heal. He got up, got rib of any snake remains on him and started heading back to where they'd made camp.

When he got there he saw a guy... or girl... quickly crawl like a snake towards Sasuke. Naruto quickly tossed an explosive card at the snake like man who dodged in time to see the branch he was on earlier blow up into little slinters.

"Sorry I'm late! I got lost on the road of life!" Naruto shouted making The Kusa-nin, Sasuke and Sakura sweatdrop. "But hey! I'm here right now, and I'm gonna kick some ass!" and with that, Naruto charged. He blurred out of view and appeared right infront of the Kusa-nin. He delivered a right hook to the Kusa-nins jaw, sending him skidding back a few feet.

'Souka. The Kyuubi brat.' thought the Kusa-nin when he saw the whisker marks. He got a little bit of a blush when he saw Narutos bare upper body. Narutos eyes widened when he saw the blush. He bit his thumb and quickly summoned Chou and Han.

"Okay guys. You know what to do." he told the pandas who nodded and took out a dice each.

"Tell me. Chou?" asked Chou as he got ready to toss the dice.

"Or Han?" Han said as she to got ready.

"Now you Kusa pedofile. Guess. Chou (Odd) or Han (Even)?" Naruto said to the Kusa-nin who raised an eyebrow.

"Umm... Han!" he said and the pandas rolled their dice.

"The dice shows seven. Winner is Chou!" the two pandas siad in unison before stomping the ground. The Kusa-nin found himself unable to move.

'Genjutsu? KAI!' he shouted in his mind but found that he still was unable to move. 'Double layered? KAI!' Still nothing. 'Shit.' the Kusa-nin thought before getting a slash mark across his chest. 'WHAT THE FUCK?!'

Chou and Han proceeded to slice and dice the Kusa-nin who was unable to retaliate. Once the genjutsu was over they saw that the skin on the Kusa-nins face had started to come off. "That's a pretty gnarly summon you have there Naruot-kun." said the Kusa-nin in a slightly hissing voice.

Naruto smirked. "Of course. These bears and pandas are awesome." he said and the panda twins blushed. Not that anyone could see it.

"None the less, I'm not here for you. I just want Sasuke-kun." he Kusa-nin said and Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked and the Kusa-nin chuckled.

His answer made Narutos eyes widen. "I am Orochimaru. The strongest of the sannin." Naruto took a figting stance.

"In that case, I need you to come with me to the tower where you will be arrested." he said and Orochimaru chuckled again.

"Do you really think you can take me on? These scratches are nothing." he said with a smirk. Naruto quickly reached into his sleeve and pulled out four cards which he pumped full of youkai. He tossed them at Orochimaru who dodged. The moment Orochimaru dodged he found that Naruto had meant for that to happen. How did he know? The moment he leaned over to the left he was met by a kick to the face, sending him flying down on the ground. Once Naruto reached the ground he pulled out five decks of cards and placed them on the ground before he started making handseals.

"Ninpou: Nihyakurokujuu Karuta no Mai (Ninja Arts: Dance of 260 Playing cards)!" he shouted and pushed the cards into the ground. The cards then came out of the ground around Orochimaru and proceeded to form a dome. "Those cards will now drain your chakra until you're completely dry." Naruto said, slightly panting before turning to the panda twins. "Thanks for the help. I'll take it from here." he said and the pandas nodded before disappearing.

After five minutes of constant chakra sucking Orochimaru thought of something. 'Below! I count 260 cards around me. There can't be any below me.' he thought and used the Headhunter technique to get out.

When he got out Naruto looked at him before saying the only thing that came to mind. "Shit." 'I don't have enough chakra to do anything else. That technique is still not ready.'

"Such a terrifying technique. You impress me Naruto-kun. I'll just give you and Sasuke-kun a present and then I'll be on my way." Orochimaru said before putting his hands in a twisted ram seal. His neck extended and his head rushed for Naruto before biting him in the shouder and then he did the same thing to Sasuke. The two of them started screaming in agony, clutching the curse seal. "Kukuku. You two will be fine vessels." Orochimaru said before metlting into the ground.

Sakura was worried. It had been a whole day since that snake freak put those wierd marks on Naruto and Sasuke and they still hadn't woken up. (You all know what happened with the sound trio. I'm not going to write about it because it's so boring. I'm going to start right before Sasuke woke up in canon. And Orochimaru didn't burn their scroll.)

Meanwhile, in Narutos Mindscape.

Naruto was walking through the sewer that was his mind. 'What the hell is this?' he thought as he saw purple smoke coming out of cracks in the wall.

**"Get over here boy!"** he heard a booming voice shouting from a distance. Naruto followed the voice. When he got around a corner he found himself standing infront of a huge gate with someone standing next to him.

"O-Orochimaru?!" he shouted seeing the pale faced man who smiled.

"Oh, hello Naruto-kun. I was just standing here admiring this great beast." Orochimaru said and gestured for the Kyuubi behind the bars.

"Orochimaru! How did you get inside my head?" Naruto asked the sannin who smiled that creepy smile again.

"I'm no really in your head. This is just a piece of my soul." Orochimaru said and Naruto got into a fighting stance.

"And what do you want here?"

"I want to corrupt your soul and take away your free will." Orochimaru said making Naruto growl.

"Not gonna happen."

"Oh come on Naruto-kun. You couldn't take me on in the real world, what makes you think that you can here?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, but I sure as hell know that I'm not going to let you take my free will away." he said and charged. They exchanged blows for a minute until Naruto kicked Orochimaru in the gut forcing him to take three steps back.

Naruto smiled. "Right where i want you." he said making Orochimaru raise an eyebrow before getting impaled in the back by a giant claw.

**"Hello you little snake. You're mine now."** the Kyuubi said with a saidistic grin from behind the bars as it pulled Orochimaru in who screamed in agony. **"Boy you'd better go back out. The pink haired girl is getting the shit beat out of her."** the fox said and Naruto nodded.

"Okay, but I'll be back and we'll talk." he said before disappearing, leaving the Kyuubi with a terrified Orochimaru.

Real world.

Naruto woke up to see a spiky haired Oto-nin preparing to use a Zankuuha (Air cutter) on Sakura who was... biting him in the arm.

"Die bitch!" he yelled and was just about to fire it when a hand grabbed his arm. "What the?" he said and looked up. Naruto was crouching, holding Zakus arm in a tight grip.

"You know... That's not nice." Naruto said with a bored expression on his face which was covered in flame like markings. He grinned. "You need to be punished for that." he said and quickly snapped Zakus wrist. Zaku screamed in pain before Naruto kicked him towards his teammates, the grin still on his face.

'Damn! This seal really makes me more sadistic.' he thought and was about to turn it off. 'No. I'll wait until I've taken care of these guys. Who knows what'll happen when i turn it off?' and with that thought he charged Zaku and kicked him in the gut, spun around him and delivered a crushing backhand to Dosus (Bandage boy) jaw and followed through with a sweeping kick to the both of them. Once both was on the ground Naruto stepped up to Zaku who was on his stomach. He put his foot on Zakus elbow and grabbed his wrist.

"Snappy, snappy." Naruto said and pulled on the wrist, snapping Zakus arm at the elbow. Zaku was screaming bloody murder while Naruto was on his way towards Dosu.

"Wait!" Dosu shouted and pulled out their "Earth" scroll. "Please let us leave and we'll give you our scroll." Dosu said and tossed the scroll to Naruto who caught it and nodded.

"Okay, leave. But know that if we encounter eachother again, I will show you no mercy." Naruto said and pocketed the scroll. When they had left Naruto and Sakura felt a surge of vile chakra oozing off of Sasuke. When they turned around they saw him standing there with flame marks on his face.

"This power... It's incredible." Sasuke said and looked at Naruto. "Fight me!" he said and charged before Naruto could answer.

Naruto sighed. 'Baka! Charging the enemy head on like that.' he thought and backhanded the stuck up Uchiha, knocking him out. "Sakura. We're heading for the tower at full speed." Naruto said and picked up Sasuke before jumping away with Sakura following.

30 minutes they were in the tower with one day left to spare. Naruto walked up to the Hokage, still carrying Sasuke.

"Sensei." he said getting the Hokage who was talking to Anko. "We encountered Orochimaru in the forest. And he gave us the curse seal." he said making the Hokage and Anko go wide eyed.

"W-What?" Anko shouted and ran forward before turning to the Hokage. "We need to seal it right away!" she said and Naruto shook his head.

"You might want to seal Sasukes but not mine. Orochimarus soul has already been removed from mine. The fox ate him." he said shocking the two.

"Y-You can talk to him?"

"Yep. I've not really talked to him but I'm going to do it soon." Naruto said.

Anko put her hand on her forehead. "Ugh, I need a drink." she said and Naruto unsealed a bottle of sake from a scroll and handed it to Anko who accepted it gratefully and took a sip. "Thank you."

Naruto yawned. "Is there a place where I can get some sleep somewhere?" he asked whle rubbing his eyes.

Anko nodded. "Follow me." she said and led him to the rooms reserved for the examinees where he got some well deserved rest.

The next day Naruto stood infront of the Hokage with the other genin that passed getting the speech that the chunnin exams are a replacement for war.

The first match was Sauke vs Yoroi. Sasuke, who hadn't gotten his Oni juuin (Curse seal) sealed yet, had to stick to Taijutsu. He used a move he'd stolen from Lee and used it to create a new move, Shi Shi rendan (Lion Combo).

(Now I'm gonna skip the rest of the fights. I don't care what you say... They're just so very boring. The only one I'm gonna change is the fight between Naruto and Kiba.)

"Last match. Uzumaki Naruto vs Inuzuka Kiba." Hayate, the proctor, said

"Yahoo! We got lucky Akamaru!" Kiba the loudmouth shouted before jumping down onto the arena floor.

"I doubt it." Naruto said quietly to himself as he shinshined down.

Amongst the jounins Kurenai looked at Kakashi. "Sorry Kakashi, but your student is gonna lose." she said with a smirk.

Kakashi only chuckled. "I doubt it. He's not my real student. He just joined my team for the chunnin exams. Otherwise he's Sandaime-samas and Ankos student." he said making the jounins go wide eyed. "Appearently he's gotten a bit of a name for himself. Konohas Cardshark. It seems to be enough to scare off Momochi Zabuza."

Kurenais eyes were the size of dinner plates. "M-Momochi Zabuza? Then shoudn't he be a jounin already?"

"No. Appearently Sandaime-sama doesn't want Naruto to skip ranks like that." Kakashi said as he focused his attention on the fight.

"Last match Uzumaki Naruto vs Inuzuka Kiba. Hajime (Begin)!" Hayate said and jumped stepped back. Kiba started crouching down with a smirk.

"Prepare to get your ass kicked blondie!" he said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Blondie? Wow. Was that the best insult you could come up with?" he asked with a smirk.

Kiba growled. "Shut up! Gijyuu Ninpou: Shikyaku no Jutsu (Beast Mimicry Ninja Arts: Four Legs technique)." He said and grew claws and fangs and crouched down on all fours.

Naruto just smirked before summoning Chou and Han. "I'll finish this fast. Okay guys. Throw the dice." he said and the pandas once again took out their dice.

They looked at Kiba. "Now you must choose. Chou?" Chou said with his eyes closed.

"Or Han?" Han asked and held up her dice.

"What?" Kiba asked and Naruto sighed.

"What are you def? Chou or Han?" he asked making Kiba growl.

"Han!" Kiba said and the pandas rolled their dice.

"The dice show 2 and 6. Winner is Han." Chou said and started making handseals with Han. When they were done, Kiba found himself sitting on a grassy field, buttnaked with an equally naked Hinata standing infront of him.

"Let's play Kiba-kun." Hinata said and started walking forward. That's where Kiba passed out from a nosebleed.

Naruto frowned. "It seems like dogbreath was more innocent than he appeared. He didn't even get to experience the whole illusion." he said before Hayate raised his hand.

"Inuzuka Kiba is unable to continue due to loss of conciousness. Winner is Uzumaki Naruto." he said pointing at Naruto who smiled before the Hokage called all the winners down where they drew numbers to see the match ups for the third exam.

The match ups were:

Uzumaki Naruto vs Hyuuga Neji

Uchiha Sasuke vs Sabaku no Gaara

Sabaku no Kankuro vs Aburame Shino

Nara Shikamaru vs Kinuta Dosu And Sabaku no Temari facing the winner.

"The third exam will begin in one month." Hayate said before leaving.

Once all the genin were gone Naruto turned to Sarutobi. "Sensei. I need to leave the village for about two days." he said making the Hokage raise an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Because there's a Texas Hold 'Em tournament in the lodging town about two miles away from the village and the prize is 10,000 bucks. Don't let me go and I'll make your life a living hell." Naruto said with and adapted an aura of death around him.

The Hokage sighed. "If I thought that you had to train for the exams I wouldn't have let you go but I have faith in you." Sarutobi said with a smile.

After Naruto had talked to the Hokage he went to Anko. "Anko. I'm afraid we'll have to wait two days before we can have our date." he said making Anko pout slightly.

"Two days? What for?" she asked.

Naruto grinned. "There's a poker tournament outside the village and I feel that I have to go." he said and Anko nodded.

"Okay then. See you in a two days." and with that, she left.

The next day Naruto was in the casino where the tournament was held, in the finals, facing two girls and an Iwa-nin. One of the girls had her blonde hair tied into two pony tails and an blue/green gem hanging around her neck. On her back was the kanji for gamble, something she sucked big time at. The other girl had blonde hair that reached down to her lower back. She was dressed in a jounin uniform without a villages mark on her headband.

"Yo! I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I hope we'll have a good match." Naruto said with a smile.

"Tsunade." said the blonde with the pony tails.

"Mai." said the other blonde (If you can guess who this is you get a cookie).

The Iwa-nin just gave a "Hn."

Two hours later only Naruto and Mai were left with an equal amount of chips, five cards on the table. Ace of cloves, Ace of hearts, Four of hearts, Jack of spades and Two of diamonds

"You're really good at this." Mai complemented with a smile.

Naruto grinned. "Thanks! You are too. I haven't met someone as good as you for like... ever." he said making Mai blush.

"So how about we make this interesting? All in." she said and Naruto smirked.

"You're on." he said and Mai showed her cards. Ace of diamonds and Queen of spades.

"Three Aces, Queen high." she said with a smirk which Naruto mimicked before showing his cards. Ace of spades and King of hearts.

"Three Aces. _King _high." he said and Mai smacked her head against the table while the spectators clapped.

"Damn..." she muttered. 'He's really good at this. I cut off all his luck and he still won...'

She looked up at him. "Congratulations Uzumaki-san. You managed to rob a poor girl of all of her money." she said with a sweet smile.

Naruto sweatdrop. 'Gee, thanks for the guilt trip.' he thought as he took the prize money. When he turned around he saw her sitting in the bar with a depressed look on her face.

'If he comes over to comfort me, I know he's the right man for me.' she thought as Naruto made his way over to her.

"Hey." he said as he sat down next to her before putting 5,000 dollars infront of her. When she looked at him with a raised eyebow he smiled.

"We are practically equally good. I just got lucky. You deserve half." he said and ordered a drink.

The bartender looked at him. "Aren't you alittle to young to drink?" he asked and Naruto showed him his headband.

"Listen old man. The minute I put this headband on I was lagally adult. And as my sensei says: Old enough to kill, old enough to drink." Naruto said and the bartender shrugged.

"Meh, I guess i can't argue with that logic." he said and handed Naruto a bottle of sake and a saucer.

Naruto took a sip before turning to Mai. "Now. I see no mark on your headband. Don't you have a homevillage?" he asked and Mai shook her head.

"No. I was taught by my father who was an ex Kumo-nin.." she said and smiled at Naruto. "Now I'm just wandering around. Taking jobs where I can."

Naruto looked thoughtfull. "Then how about you become a Konoha-nin?" he asked.

Mai went wide eyed. "R-Really? You could arrange that?" she asked and Naruto nodded.

"Yeah. The hokage is my sensei and he likes me so I could probably talk him into letting you stay." he said making Mais face split into a huge grin.

'Wow, he really is a good guy. I must have him.' she tought as she hugged Naruto who was caught by surprise and fell off the barstool.

* * *

**I think I'll stop here. I'm extremely tired right now. Now... Who do you think Mai is? If you guessed Lady Luck... YOU'RE RIGHT! COOKIE FOR YOU!**

**Now. Should Kyuubi be female and if it will then should she be added to Narutos harem or should she be his mother figure?**

**R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! This is a highly caffeinated ZnK here to give you what you want! It's just too bad that I'm not allowed to post the damn lemons on this site... I'll post them on AFF (AdultFanfiction)**

**Kyuubi will be female and in the harem. Now people think that someone with a voice like that could be female. But look at Yoruichi (From Bleach). When she transforms into a cat she sounds like a guy. Just imagine how wrong it would be if a great beast like the Kyuubi sounded like a girl.**

**Now I told myself that I would stay with the summons I had and not use anymore, but there was one that caught my eye by Xyshuryn and his buddy who's name I don't know.**

**Name: 'Cap 'Cap**

**Baby Polar Bear (think annoyingly cute coca cola type baby polar bear)  
wearing a red jacket with white trim.**

**Kanji: Knee Cap **

Size: A little taller than knee-high, but as strong as Tsunade (the  
sannin). 

**Weapon: Balpeen Hammer, Needlenose Pliers, C-Clamps, and other things that  
would make Ibiki happy. **

Personality: Sweet and cuddly to everybody... except those who won't pay up  
what they owe. Then he goes into kneecapper mode, breaking bones and removing  
things from their rightful locations. 

**Anyways. Here's chapter 6!

* * *

**Naruto was in dreamland, lying in his bed in the hotelroom he had rented for the night when he woke up from a realization.

"That blonde woman with the ponytails was Tsunade of the sannin." he said to himself before chuckling. "Man, she SUCKED." and with that he went back to dreamland.

The next morning Naruto was standing at the gates of the lodging town waiting for Mai. When she showed up they were on their way to Konoha. The trip to Konhoa involved alittle small talk about Mais abilities and a small sparring match to see her skills.

When they got to Konoha they immediatly went to see the Hokage.

"Oh Naruto-kun. How did it go?" Sarutobi said as Naruto entered the office with Mai right behind him. "And who is this?"

"This is Mai. I split my winnings with her since I just won by a fluke." Naruto said and the Hokage nodded.

"Pleased to meet you Hokage-sama." Mai said and bowed. "Naruto-kun has told me alot about you." she said and the Hokage smiled.

"Oh? And what has he told you?"

"That you're a strong but perverted old geezer." Mai said with a smile making Sarutobi choke on his pipe.

Once the coughing was over he turned an angry face towards Naruto. "Naruto! What lies have you fed this poor girl?!" he asked with a glare.

Naruto chuckled. "No lies. Only truths. You can prove me wrong by opening your third drawer on your right and show her that you don't have a copy of Icha Icha there." he said and the Hokage nodded.

"Very well." he said before he opened the drawer and put a genjutsu over the orange book. "See? Nothing." he said with a smirk which Mai mimicked before putting her hands in the ram seal.

"Kai." she said, dispelling the illusion making Sarutobi frown.

"Damn..."

"She has Jounin level skills sensei." Naruto said with a smirk and Sarutobi nodded.

"And I take it that she wants to join Konoha?" Sarutobi asked with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. So I would be glad if you could arrange that." he said making Sarutobi motion for him to lean over.

"Naruto. How do you know that she's not a spy?" he asked and Naruto shrugged.

"I couldn't sense any lies from her when she told me her story." he whispered and Sarutobi nodded before leaning back in his chair.

"Well then. You're dismissed Naruto-kun. Anko said that she wanted to see you when you came back. I'd like to hear Mai-sans story and Anko will probably beat the snot out of you if she finds out that you came here first, instead of going to her place immediatly." he said as he and Naruto both shuddered in unison. Naruto nodded.

"Very well. See you later sensei, Mai." he said and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

He showed up at Ankos house where she proceeded to take him out for dango (Big surprise!). They talked, they laughed at those who lost in the tournament and they ate.

* * *

Lemon Alert! By Master Rahl

* * *

Now Naruto stood at the front door of one Mitarashi Anko, she stood next to him arms intertwined with his a small smile on her face. She reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out her apartment key. She opened the door and stopped half-way through the threshold of her apartment. She turned to Naruto with a sly smile on her face, "How about you come in Naruto-kun." 

"Okay Anko-chan," Naruto replied walking in behind Anko into her apartment. This was the first time Naruto had gotten a good look at Anko's apartment; it was rather plain with no unnecessary decoration. Anko pulled Naruto over to the couch and sat him down before going into the kitchen. She came back a few minutes later with some sake and saucers for the drink. She sat down next to Naruto, and poured them both some of the alcoholic beverage. Naruto grabbed the saucer with his left hand while wrapping his right one around Anko's waist.

The couple sat like this for what felt like hours though only being a few minutes engaging in pointless small talk about mission and other such things while the bottle of sake slowly got emptier and emptier. Anko laid her head on Naruto's shoulder as the conversation switched to things more recent like village gossip and other stupid things. They stayed like this for a couple more minutes before Anko let out a large yawn. Naruto smiled as she started to fall asleep on his shoulder; so he lifted her up bridal style and carried her to the bedroom laying her gently onto the bed. He turned to leave the room when he heard a voice behind him. He turned and saw Anko sitting up on her elbow looking at him, beckoning him to get into the bed with her. Naruto walked back and laid down on the bed wrapping his arms around Anko's waist a pulling her close him.

Anko smiled a small sensual smile and kissed him lightly on the lips. Naruto smiles as well and returned the kiss with even more vigor and passion. Anko smiled in her mind this wasn't just two lovers kissing anymore this had become a game…a war. This kid thought he could out do her well then she would prove him wrong. She started kissing with even more force her arms wrapped around his neck, his around her waist. Naruto rolled Anko on her back while kissing her so he was on top; the two broke apart never once looking anywhere but the others eyes. "Naruto-kun," whispered Anko into his ear, "I'm so horny right now please Naruto-kun, fuck me." Naruto smiled after all who was he to refuse such a request from such a beautiful woman.

He reached behind her undoing the zipper on her skirt before pulling it off realizing Anko hadn't worn any underwear, he smiled leaned down and whisper to her, "You planned this didn't you."

"I have not idea what you're talking about." She replied innocently before flipping Naruto onto his back and straddling his waist grinning in triumph, before she ripped off his clothes along with what was left of hers, "Now, who's better Naruto-kun?"

"I am."

"That's right you……. wait what?"

"Simple I got you and me naked with minimal effort on my part." Anko blushed in embarrassment this kid knew his way around the bed like he knew his way around a deck of cards. Anko's eyes widened when she again felt herself on her back with Naruto on top. Naruto kissed Anko again this time on the neck and started trailing down her collar bone. He continued down to her erect nipples sucking and licking the right one while his left hand toyed with the left one, and his right hand slid down her stomach in-between her legs, just barely brushing her wet pussy down to her thigh where he stopped and retreated back up. Again just brushing her pussy to the other thigh where his hand laid at rest. Anko was writhing during this time as Naruto toyed with her body making her hornier then any other guy had ever made her. "Please Naruto-kun stop teasing me," Anko pleaded. Naruto smiled slyly before complying with his lover and sliding a finger into her pussy pumping slowly before adding a second finger and increasing his tempo.

Anko was in euphoric bliss, when suddenly Naruto stopped and pulled out his fingers. Anko looked at Naruto in confusion she was so close to coming. Naruto smiled down at her and whispered in her ear, "I gave you a taste, now I want you to beg for the rest you have to earn what I have to give." Anko whimpered, no guy had treated her like this before and she loved it, she wanted to be dominated, and before she knew what was happening she spoke, "Yes master, I'll do what ever you please."

Anko flipped Naruto onto his back before kneeling down before his erect member. Anko was shocked this kid was packing more then any guy twice his age she had been with. Pushing those thoughts from her mind Anko wrapped her hand around Naruto's member before giving the head a slow sensual lick, and then taking it into her mouth, and then sucking lightly. Anko released the head and looked up at Naruto before smiling and taking his entire length in her mouth.

Naruto was in absolute bliss the way Anko was deep-throating him while jiggling his balls. Naruto was close, he could feel it, he wouldn't last much longer under Anko's very capable mouth and hands. Naruto's eyes were wide he couldn't hold on any longer, he came with a low moan releasing his cum into Anko's throat, causing her to choke and release him from her mouth and some of the cum to spray on her face and breasts. Anko smiles up at Naruto before licking his cum off her face, and using her fingers to get it from her breasts to her mouth.

Anko crawled up to be face to with Naruto, she leaned sown and kissed him lightly on the lips. She then sat on his stomach and grinned, "Well Naruto-kun looks like its time for the main course."

Naruto however had other ideas; he flipped Anko onto her back, "Did you think I was going to let you have all the fun?" Naruto kneeled down a positioned his head between Anko's legs, giving him a clear view of her wet pussy. He gave an experimental lick and then a satisfied grin when he heard Anko's loud moan. Naruto started to move his head up when Anko forced his head back down with the simple order of not to stop. Naruto happily complied enjoying the taste of his lover's juices. Naruto continued to lick Anko's pussy as her legs started to tighten around his head, her moans and pants coming louder and more frequently. With one final moan Anko released herself into Naruto's waiting mouth.

Naruto climbed himself up in front of Anko's face, "Now it's time for the main course Anko-chan." Anko nearly lost herself again form the anticipation of having Naruto's member inside of her. Naruto aligned himself up with her pussy and looked down at her face, Anko gave a slight nod, and Naruto thrust himself completely inside Anko's wet pussy. Anko's back arched as she screamed form pleasure and pain, having never had someone as big as Naruto inside her. Naruto on the other hand was in bliss, again, from the tightness of Anko's pussy.

Naruto refrained from pulling out when he heard Anko's scream, and was afraid he had hurt her. Until her heard her voice, "What the hell are you waiting for an invitation, quit stalling and fuck me, damn it!" Naruto needed no further consent he pulled him self all the way out, and plunged himself back in, relishing in knowledge that he was the one causing Anko so much pleasure. Anko on the other hand loved the full feeling Naruto was giving her with every thrust. Naruto continued his thrusting when hi hit something, and Anko's back arched to what Naruto was sure to be an unhealthy angle. Anko was in heaven Naruto had done what no other man had, he had hit her G-spot, and would not stop hitting it, sending Anko closer and closer too her peak.

Naruto was nearing his peak, as Anko continued to tighten around him. Anko's leg's wrapped around Narutos waist limiting how far he could pull out but allowing to thrust faster then before, and Anko seemed to like that trade, if her face was anything to go by. Her jaw was slack, her head was thrown back and her eyes were screwed shut. Her entire body was covered in sweat as her breasts bounced from the force of Naruto's thrusts, her nipples were erect, which gave Naruto an idea, he leaned down still continuing his thrusts and latched his mouth around her right nipple, his left hand on her right breast, and used his right arm to pull Anko up into his chest, never once breaking the flow of him pounding Anko's pussy.

This little maneuver was to much for Anko-had she not known it herself she would never had believe this kid to be a virgin-she was sent over the edge, her pussy clamping down onto Naruto's member. This sent Naruto over the edge as well causing him to release himself into Anko's waiting pussy, his seed going into her womb.

Anko fell back on to the bed, "That was amazing Naruto-kun." Naruto just grinned, "Who says we're done yet?" Anko looked up at Naruto in shock and awe this kid had again done what men twice his age could not, he had not only made her orgasm first, but was also ready for another round right after the first. "Well then what are you waiting for?" Naruto simply smiled and pulled him self out of her, this action confused Anko she had thought they were going again. Anko was snapped from her thoughts when she felt herself get rolled onto her stomach. That's when it hit her, she know exactly what Naruto wanted to do.

Anko got up on all four rather shakily, when she had steadied herself, she looked back at Naruto, "Don't go too quickly I've never had anything go in there before." Naruto nodded and inched himself slowly into Anko's backdoor, he stopped halfway through when Anko screamed from the pain of having something Naruto's size enter her anus. It took Anko only a second to look back at Naruto, "Don't you dare stop," she all but ordered. Naruto complied and rammed himself all the way into Anko, causing her back to arch, her to throw her head back and moan, and her breast to start swaying back and forth as Naruto pounded her from behind.

Anko and Naruto both were in heaven as Naruto continued to relentlessly pound Anko's ass. Anko's arm soon failed to support her any longer, and so she went face first into a pillow, her arms spread out gripping the sides of the bed. With her ass still in the air with Naruto still not stopping, giving Anko no time to recover from her little drop as she continued to moan her chin resting on the pillow, and her breasts smashed against the mattress.

Anko felt the familiar feeling associated with her release in the pit of her stomach, she knew she would not be able to hold out much longer if Naruto continued the way he had thus far. She also knew that Naruto was nearing his peak as well his thrusts were becoming deeper, faster and harder. Anko knew there was now way she would be able to walk straight when she woke up.

Naruto was close, he knew it, but he had one last trick in his arsenal. He picked Anko up by her waist, moved forward and pressed her body against the wall, and then he continued he thrusting into Anko's thoroughly abused anus. Anko was shock this kid was just full of surprises, the wall was one of the few place Anko had never had sex along with the counters, coffee table and bathroom. Anko stopped when she felt the familiar feeling she knew meant her release was close, how this kid kept her just barely on edge was a shock in and of itself.

They were both close Naruto knew it simply by the look on Anko's slightly turned face Naruto knew she knew it to. Naruto continued to thrust mustering all the strength he could, determined to make her orgasm first. He knew it had worked when Anko let out a loud moan her back arching away from the wall, her head thrown back. Naruto followed soon after, not lasting another two complete thrusts.

They both slide from the thing or person they were against, Anko from the wall and onto the bed, and Naruto from inside Anko and next to her on the bed. Anko rolled over and with her last bit of energy, kissed Naruto, and whispered good night. A gesture he returned in much the same fashion, and with that both drifted off to sleep thoughts of each other, and more sex in their dreams.

* * *

Lemon Over!

* * *

Naruto woke up the next morning to find a slightly drooling Anko sleeping soundly on his chest. He smiled before kissing her gently on the forehead. He got out of the bed after placing her head on the pillow and started getting dressed. When he saw the remains of his tank top he sighed. 

'The one day I decide to wear a shirt under my coat she rips it to shreds. Damn overly horny woman.' he thought before throwing his shirt in the trash. Before he left he looked back at the purple haired beauty to see her gnawing on the pillow. He smiled.

'She looks really cute right now.' he thought before closing te bedroom door.

Meanwhile, in Narutos apartment, Mai was sitting on the couch wondering where the hell Naruto could be. The Hokage had made her move in with Naruto until she could afford her own apartment. While she was pondering on that she noticed a red spark appear in the middle of the living room.

The spark grew bigger and bigger before taking the form of a woman in her mid twenties with shoulder length fire red hair and red eyes wearing a white kimono with cherry blossoms.

"What are you doing here Nee-chan?" Mai asked crossing her arms making Fate (In case you hadn't guessed.) smirk.

"Oh I just came to tell you something I saw last night involving your blonde friend." she said making Mais eyes widen.

"What did you see? Nothing happened to him tight?" she asked causing Fates smirk to widen (If that was even possible).

"Oh something happened all right. I saw something involving him and a certain snake mistress. In her bedroom. Naked. I'll let you figure out what happened." Fate said with a laugh and turned into a spark before disappearing again, leaving Mai sitting stunned on the couch.

'They... had sex? How am I gonna get him now?' she thought as she hung her head. Her head shot up when she heard the door opening.

'Strange. It's unlocked.' Naruo thought as he opened the door carefully while picking up a card from his pocket, ready to slash at whoever broke into his apartment. He slowly moved through the hallway and saw someone on their way out of the living room. He was surprised to see Mai coming out standing infront of him with a smile on her face.

"Welcome home Naruto-kun." she said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Umm... Thanks?" he said while wondering if he'd walked into the wrong apartment. "Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Hokage-sama let me stay here until I get enough money for my own apartment." Mai said with a smile while Naruto nodded slowly.

"Okay. Well then. Make yourself at home. I'm gonna take a shower." he said and headed for the batroom. 'Hmm... I wonder what Anko'll say about this...'

* * *

**I think I'll end it here. I've kept you waiting long enough... Sorry.**

**Now like I said. Thanks to Master Rahl for the lemon.**

**R&R**

**Peace out!**


	7. Chapter 7

**PLEASE READ!!!**

**Hey! Back again. Sorry I'm late. I've had some writers block... And I'm taking a dialogue from Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh! I'm also removing Fate and Kyuubi from the harem. Sorry but I just can't do more than two women... I don't even know if I can do a two women harem but I'll give it a try.

* * *

**Naruto woke up with a grunt. 'Damn couch... Damn me for being a fucking gentleman... Damn puppy dog eyes...' he thought as he sat up. Mai had utilized the feared puppy dog eyes on Naruto in order to get the bed. Naruto tried to resist... Needless to say it didn't work. He got up and dressed before leaving the still sleeping Mai a note saying that he was going out to train.

As soon as he left the apartment he saw the devil in green in coming out of the apartment next to him.

'He's my neighbour?' he thought as he saw Gai doing his morning stretches.

"Good morning Naruto-kun! Do you wish to run around the village with my own youthfull self?!" Gai shouted when he spotted Naruto who cringed at the volume before shaking his head.

"Sorry Gai-sensei. I'll do my running at sunset. It's nicer." Naruto said with a smile. Gais eyes widened.

"Of course! Your youthfullness has reached new hights Naruto-kun! I will also start running at sunset!" Gai shouted before going back into his apartment.

Naruto just stood there with his soul hanging from his mouth. 'What have i done?' he thought with a twitch of his eyebrow.

Ten minutes later we find Naruto on training ground 14 with sparring with some Kage Bunshins. He was alittle worried about facing Neji. Nejis eyes were able to see chakra and had nearly 360 degrees view, so Naruto could not try and get behind him or hide any cards under the ground. 'Damn Hyuugas...'

After his training he walked into his favorite dango shop to find Anko happily munching away. 'Why am I not surprised to see her here?' he thought and walked over to her.

"Ohayo Anko-chan." he said and was geeted by a wave.

"Ohayo Naru-kun. What's wrong with your neck?" Anko asked when she heard him groan and stretch his neck.

"I slept on the couch... There was this girl, Mai. I met her at the poker tournament the other day and the Hokage senthertolivewithme." he said as quickly as possible before diving for cover behind a bench.

Anko just sat there with a raised eyebrow. "What? Slower please."

"The Hokage sent Mai to live with me until she can afford her own apartment." Naruto said, still hiding behind the bench.

Anko just shrugged. "Okay." she said making Naruto sweatdrop.

"That's it? No punching, kicking or going on a rampage?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. Why should I? You're not doing anything with her are you?" she asked with a dangerous tone in her voice.

"NO!" Naruto exclaimed. "I just assumed that you might get alittle jealous of me living with another woman. I mean, you've become jealous for less before." he said and Anko shrugged.

"Yeah. But that was before we became an item. I know you'll be faithfull to me." she said with a overly sweet smile. "Won't you?"

Naruto felt a shiver go up his spine. "O-Of course Anko-chan!" he said before grabbing a stick of dango and sitting down. Anko just smiled before eating the rest of the dumplings.

Later that night we find Naruto slowly opening his door with his soul once again hanging from his mouth. 'Why did I have to tell Gai that I run at night? Had I kept my mouth shut then he would've continued running in the mornings... Damn me!' he thought as he entered his apartment.

When he got inside he found Mai sleeping on the couch infront of the TV. 'YES! THE BED IS FREE!' he cheered in his head only to be disappointed by Mai as she opened one of her eyes.

"The bed is mine." she said simply making Naruto cry silent tears. 'DAMN WOMAN!'

The month passed quickly for Naruto, as all he did was train and try to screw Anko into submission. Now he was standing in the arena with all the other genins, waiting for the third exam to start. A man with a senbon in his mouth was standing infront of them with a bored look on his face.

The hokage stood up from his seat and coughed lightly before speaking. "Thank you all for coming to the Hidden Leafs Chuunin selection exam! We will now start the main tournament matches between the 8 participants who made it through the preliminaries!"

"Okay, take a look at this." the man with the senbon said to the genin and held up a piece of paper.

Uzumaki Naruto vs Hyuuga Neji

Uchiha Sasuke vs Sabaku no Gaara

Aburame Shino vs Sabaku no Kankuro

Nara Shikamaru vs Sabaku no Temari

'That's odd... Wasn't Shikamaru supposed to fight that Dosu guy first?' Naruto thought and looked at Shikamaru who appearently thinking the same thing. 'Did he quit?'

"Now that that's settled. I'm the proctor for this exam Shiranui Genma. Now let's start the first match. Can everyone except Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Neji please leave the arena?" he said and everyone except said genins left. Naruto and Neji now stood facing eacother, one with a serious face and one with a bored look (I'll leave you to figure out who is who).

"Are you ready?" Ganma asked the genins who nodded. "Good, then let the first match, Uzumaki Naruto vs Hyuuga Neji, HAJIME!" he said before jumping away.

"You might as well give up. Fate has chosen me as the victor of this match." Neji said as he slipped into the Jyuuken stance. Naruto could have sworn he heard a woman shouting "No I haven't!" in the distance but shrugged it off as nothing. Instead he just cocked an eyebrow and looked at Neji with an amused look on his face.

"You're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?" he asked with a smirk. "How can you know what Fate wants?"

"Because I'm a Hyuuga. Hyuugas are the best in the leaf." Neji said in an arrogant tone.

Naruto just raised another eyebrow and put a hand on his chin. "The best huh?" he asked and Neji nodded with a smirk. "Then tell me. Why hasn't a Hyuuga ever become Hokage? Why isn't any of the sannin a Hyuuga? I'll tell you why. Because you SUCK!" he shouted pissing Neji off.

"Shut up!" he shouted before charging and trying desperatly to hit Naruto with a flurry of Jyuuken strikes. He failed miserably though. Naruto stopped dodging and jumped away before smirking.

"You're pretty good at this." he stated making Neji smirk back.

"Thank you. I practice four hours a day." he said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"I think you need to find yourself a girl mate." he said making Neji charge again and Naruto bgan dodging again. Pausing he looked at Neji. "Or, perhaps the reason you practice four hours a day is that you already found one, but are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet..." he said before looking down at Nejis crotch. "You're not a eunuch are you?"

Neji just looked at him with a twitching eye. "Shut up and fight me!" he shouted before charging again.

Naruto just sighed. "Fine." he said before summoning his staff. "Let's do this." he said and rammed the staff into a charging Nejis nose. "Ha! Didn't see that one coming, did ya bi-atch!"

Neji held his bleeding nose and looked at Naruto with contempt. "Why do you defy Fate?" he asked angrily while Naruto just shrugged.

"I dunno... I just don't like the thought of someone else controlling my life." he said before raising an eyebrow. "Why do you believe in Fate so hard?"

"I'll tell you dropout" Neji said as he started to untie his headband. "about the Hyuugas curse of hatred."

-Please insert tape labeled "Nejis Hate speech" here-

By the time he was done Naruto was faking sleep. When he heard that Neji was done he clicked his tounge. "You done?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. He then proceeded to take out a deck of cards. "I'll show you Neji. That you can defy Fate. When I become the Hokage I'll remove the curse seal for you." he said with a smile before pumping wind chakra into the cards and throwing them into the air "Ninpou: Ame no gojuuni Karuta!" he shouted and the cards charged Neji who quickly performed the Kaiten.

"See? You can't beat me." Neji said with a smirk before the Naruto infront of him poofed out of existance. "Nani?!" he shouted before two hands came out of the ground and grabbed his ankles.

"Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no jutsu (Earth element: Inner Decapitation technique)!" Naruto shouted before pulling Neji down and later popping up infront of him. "Gotcha bitch." he said with a smirk while Neji tried to sqirm his way out of the hole. "Don't even try. If you feel around for a moment you will notice that four of my clones are currently down there, each holding a kunai at a vital spot. I win." he said before getting up.

"Hyuuga Neji is unable to continue, shousha Uzumaki Naruto." Genma said while the crowd broke into cheers. Naruto looked up with a surprised face.

"Wow... Not all of them hate me." he stated before helping Neji out of the hole and walking back to the waiting room.

"Can Uchiha Sasuke and Sabaku no Gaara come down here for the second match?" Genma asked as he stood in the middle of the arena once again.

Up in the Hokage box, a jounin by the name of Raidou poofed in next to Sarutobi and leaned in next to him. "We can't find Sasuke anywhere. What do we do?" he asked the Hokage who sighed.

"There's nothing we can do. Rules are rules. All we can do is disqualify him." he said making the "Kazekage"s eyes widen.

"Demo Hokage-dono, most of these people came here to see the Uchiha fight. I am actually pretty psyched to see him fight my strongest genin." he said and the Hokage shook his head.

"I'm sorry Kazekage-dono, but if someone can't come to an appointment on time, they are not Chunnin material." he said and turned to Raidou. "Disqualify him."

"Hai." Raidou said and shunshined down to the arena before whispering in Genmas ear.

Genma nodded before looking up at the crowd. "Uchiha Sasuke is not here! Therefore he is disqualified!" he shouted making the crowd burst into a disappointed roar.

Up in the Hokages box a man with white spiky hair, red lines down his eyes, green clothes with a red vest and a demon headband with the kanji for oil on the plate poofed in next to the Hokage. "Yo, Sensei!" he said making Sarutobi raise an eyebrow.

"Jiraiya? What are you doing here?" he asked and Jiraiya shrugged.

"Meh, not much, just want to see how the Gaki is doing." Jiraiya said and the Sarutobi smiled.

"He's doing just fine. You just missed his match against the Hyuuga prodigy. He won by the way."

"Yeah, I figured as much." Jiraya said and sat down. The "Kazekage" watched as Jiraiya sat down and turned to one of his bodyguards.

"Call off the invasion, we have no chance of winning with him here too." he said and his bodyguard nodded before poofing away.

Shino became the winner of the next match due to Kankuro giving up and then Temari won due to Shikamaru giving up after catching her in his Kage Mane no Jutsu (Shadow Imitation Technique).

"It is now time for the second rounds first match. Can Uzumaki Naruto and Sabaku no Gaara please come down here?" Genma called and said genins used their respective shunshin to get down from the waiting room. The two genin stood staring eachother down, one with a bloodthirsty grin on his face, the other with a bored look on his (I'll leave you to figure out who is who).

"Are you read-" Genma started but was interupted by a whirl of leaves in between the two genin. In a poof of smoke Kakashi appeared with Sasuke standing next to him.

"Are we late?" Kakashi asked lazily and Naruto glared at him.

"Yes you are. Sasuke got disqualified and I'm going to fight this guy now so can you please go away?" he asked pissing Sasuke off.

"What do you mean disqualified?! You can't do that! I'm an Uchiha!" Sasuke fumed before being led away by Kakashi.

"Now that that's taken care of, are you two ready?" Genma asked and the two genin nodded. "In that case. Second round, first match, Hajime!" and as soon as he jumped away, Gaara sent a wave of sand towards Naruto whos eyes widened slightly at the speed before jumping away.

"Mother wants your blood!" Gaara rowled as he kept sending his sand after Naruto who continued dodging.

"Sorry mate. The only one who's gonna have my blood is my girlfriend." Naruto said and winked to Anko who grinned. His little loss of focus earned his a sand arm to his gut, slamming him into the wall. 'Ow...' he thought as he coughed up some blood. 'That REALLY hurt! And it made me REALLY pissed!' and with that thought Naruto took out his staff and charged it with youkai before throwing it at Gaara who caught it with his sand.

"You're supposed to harm me with a glowing rod?" Gaara said with a mocking tone.

Naruto shook his head before smirking. "No, I didn't intend to hurt you with my staff. It's the explosion that's gonna hurt you." he said making Gaaras' eyes widen. He only had time to turn his head before the staff exploded. "Gotcha." Naruto said with a satisfied smile which disappeared as soon as the smoke subsided to reveal a protective ball of sand surrounding Gaara. 'Damn, I forgot about that...' Naruto thought before a wave of sand came charging him. He tried to dodge but found that his right foot was stuck.

Looking down he saw sand crawling up his leg as the wave of sand came closer. Only one word came to Narutos mind: 'Shit...' he thought before biting his thumb And performing the nessesary handseals. He just completed them as the sand hit him and wrapped around his body.

Up in the stands Yuuhi Kurenai winced when Anko grabbed her hand. Hard.

"Die!" Gaara shouted through a hole in his little sand shield and started closing his hand. "Sabak-" was all he could say before a shout of "Kuchiyose no jutsu!" was heard. The sand surrounding Naruto exploded in smoke. When the smoke dissipated Naruto could be seen standing on top of a 20 ft black sun bear wearing a red cloak and a barstool in hand.

"OI! What the hell am I doin' out 'ere?!" the drunken bear shouted making the crowd sweatdrop.

"Sake-san... Have you been drinking again?" Naruto asked in a disappointed tone and eyes closed.

The bear had a sheepish look on his face and scratched the back of his head, wobbling alittle (read: ALOT!) in the process. "Maybe just a glass or two." he said with a smile making the crowd sweatdrop again.

"Summoning a little teddybear to help you Uzumaki? Fine. More blood for mother!" Gaara shouted freezing Sake and Naruto to the spot.

"Naruto?" Sake asked with a twitching eye.

"Yea..."

"Did he just call me a... teddybear?"

"Yea..."

"He's so dead!" Sake shouted and raised his barstool before slamming it down on Gaara who smirked. His smirk was quickly replaced by a look of fear as the barstool went right through his sand armor and into his head, thus sending him into blissfull unconsiousness. Genma slowly peeked out from behind his hiding spot behind the only tree in the arena.

"Ano... Shousha Uzumaki Naruto!" he announced making the crowd burst into cheers.

Temari lost her fight against Shino who used his kikai bugs to eat all her chakra.

"Final match, Uzumaki Naruto vs Aburame Shino. Hajime!"

"Good luck Shino-san." Naruto said with a smile.

Shino nodded. "Good luck to you too Naruto-san." he said and Naruto nodded before throwing three wind cards at Shino who raised his bug shield. Shinos eyebrows went past his hairline when the cards went right through the shield. "Shit." he said before dodging to the left, though one card nicked him on the arm. "How?" was all he could say while Naruto smiled.

"Well, judging from your fight with Temari-san, your bugs eat chakra. So I pumped my cards with twice as much chakra then usual and threw them twice as hard, letting them get through your shield before they manage to eat all the chakra." he said making Shino nod in understanding.

"That was very smart of you Naruto-san, but now that you've told me how you do it, I can just make the shield thicker."

Naruto nodded. "Well, I see three choices here. One: You make your shield thicker and I pump my cards with even more chakra. Two: I summon Sake-san again and let him rip you apart. Or three: You give up." he said with a grin.

Shino just stood there for a while thinking of possible strategies. When he couldn't think of any he raised his hand. "You make a good point Naruto-san. Proctor. I surrender." he said and Genma nodded.

"Aburame Shino has given up. Shousha, Uzumaki Naruto." he announced making the crowd, once again, erupt into cheers. Naruto just smiled and waved before walking out of the arena. Once he got outside he was glomped by Anko who took him back to her house for some well deserved reward sex.

* * *

**And I'm done... Sorry if the last part was rushed. I had written it really well first but my computor crashed before I managed to save it... I'm really starting to run out of ideas here... If you have any, feel free to send me a PM. Oh and like I said: I took Fate and Kyuubi out of the harem.**

**And that's it for this time.**

**R&R! Please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Now, ladies and gentlemen! The fic you've all been waiting for! Te Gambler is back! My writers block is OVER! Expect more action from Te Gambler soon!**

"Naru-kun? What are you doing here this late?" Anko asked with a raised eyebrow as Naruto stood outside her door at midnight.

"I'm... not allowed to sleep in my bed and the couch is really messing up my neck. Can I sleep here for a couple of nights?"

"I don't know... I'll require rent." Anko said with a sly smile.

"Wh-" Naruto started but was interrupted by Anko grabbing his coat and pulling him into her apartment.

"You look tired, Naruto." Sarutobi said as Naruto stood half awake in front of his desk.

"I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all."

"I see." Sarutobi said with a nod. "Anyway, I have a mission for you and Anko. An A-rank mission."

"A-rank? What's the mission?"

"A jinchuuriki, the Nibi jinchuuriki, has requested our aid." Sarutobi said and handed over a file. Naruto opened the file and saw a picture of a blond girl who looked to be around seventeen. "Her name is Nii Yugito. She's a Kumo nin who wants to join Konoha, though because no one trusts her, she gets a seven man escort on every mission, jounins."

"So, you want us to go find her, kill the escort and bring her back?" Naruto asked getting a nod from Sarutobi.

"That's right. Go tell Anko and leave as soon as possible."

"Hai." Naruto said and poofed out of the office.

Naruto appeared at Anko's apartment and went in. One thing he'd learned about Anko is to never just poof into her apartment, unless you want to get a kunai where no man has gone before.

"Anko! Where are you? We have a mission!" he shouted as he walked through the hallway. Anko stuck her head out of the bathroom.

"What?"

"We have a mission. A-rank."

Anko nodded and came out of the bathroom without her coat on.

"I've never thought about asking you this, but why do you only have a net shirt under your coat? Not that I don't like it, but why?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow getting a smile from Anko as she grabbed her coat.

"To distract my enemy. So, what's the mission?"

"We gotta track down a girl, kill her escort and bring her back here."

"Unharmed?"

"Yes."

"Damn..." Anko said with a pout. "How large is her escort?"

"According to Sarutobi-sensei, seven jounins."

"Great." Anko said with a grin. "Let's go. You got everything?"

Naruto held up a green scroll. "All sealed up."

"Good." Anko said and left with Naruto.

Once they were fifteen miles away from Konoha and Anko had been properly briefed she and Naruto sat down on a log.

"So, where are we to meet this jinchuuriki girl?"

"According to the file... thirteen miles to the west of Wave. She is on a mission to assassinate the Wave daimyo... oh hell no!" Naruto said and got up. "I'm ready to go now, how about you? You seem kinda slow."

"Don't push your luck, Stamina god." Anko said and got up. "I'm sure I can easily beat you anytime."

"Bullshit." Naruto said with a grin and started running with Anko close behind. Fifteen minutes later they arrived at the rendezvous point. Naruto was only panting slightly while Anko was panting heavily.

"Your... stamina is... incredibly... annoying." Anko said making Naruto grin.

"That's not what you said last night." he said with a singsong voice.

Anko could only blush.

"Well, we have ten minutes until rendezvous." Anko said staring up at the sun. "We should get into our positions."

Naruto took out a card and a pen. "I have an idea." he said and started writing on the card before placing it on the ground. "Now we get into our positions."

Ten minutes later Naruto and Anko were hiding in the bushes on either side of the road. Just a few seconds later they heard steps.

Yugito came walking on the road with three jounins behind her, one jounins on either side and two jounins in front of her. One of the jounins in the front stopped and bent over to pick up something on the road.

"What the hell is this?" he asked as he held up a card. "There's something on it... 'Jump'?"

Yugito's eyes widened and she immediately jumped into the air as about fifty kunais came flying through the bushes hitting one of the jounins while the others jumped away.

Naruto and Anko jumped out of the bushes and landed in front of Yugito while the jounins landed twenty feet away.

"Go to Konoha, Yugito-san. We'll catch up later." Naruto said staring at the jounins. "Anko-chan, I'll take the three on the right." he said and took out a deck of cards.

"You do that. I'll take the three on the left." Anko said and shot out with her hands. "Sen'nei Jashu!"

Snakes shot out of Anko's sleeves and headed for the jounin farthest to the right.

Naruto ran up and drop kicked the jounin in the middle of his three. Then he took out three cards and pumped them full of wind chakra before throwing them at the jounin to the right.

The jounin ducked under the cards and swiped at the airborne Naruto with a kunai.

Naruto took out his own kunai and blocked the swipe as he landed before jumping away.

"Anko!" he shouted and took out a deck of cards. Anko turned around and saw what he was about to do and jumped away while Naruto tossed the cards into the air before performing a couple of handseals.

"Ninpou: Ame no Gojuuni Karuta!" Naruto shouted, freezing the cards in the air. They floated in the air as they were filled with fire chakra. "Ja Ne." he said with a smile as the cards flew towards the jounins. Two of them managed to jump away while the other four weren't so lucky. They were blown to smithereens.

As soon as jounin 1 landed he found himself involved in a fierce Taijutsu battle with Naruto while the other pulled his sword and charged at Anko who took out a kunai to defend herself.

Naruto and jounin 1 exchanged a couple of blows for a while before Naruto scored an uppercut to the jounin 1's jaw. He turned around just in time to see the other jounin knocking away Anko's kunai and attempt to slash at her.

'Fuck!' he thought with wide eyes and crouched down while taking a card out of his sleeve and tossing it at jounin 2.

The card looked like it flew in slow motion. Jounin 2, who was running towards Anko, was just about to set down his right foot when the card slashed through his Achilles tendon.

Naruto smiled when he saw jounin 2 fall but the smile faded when he felt a piercing pain in his back. Turning around he saw that jounin 1 had stabbed him with a kunai.

"You bastard!" Naruto shouted and took out a scroll and unsealed his brand new steel bo staff. He grabbed it and slammed it into jounin 1's head, sending him flying while Anko stabbed the downed jounin 2 in the heart.

Naruto ran up to jounin 1 and drove it into his stomach before doing a helmet breaker on the man, effectively breaking his skull.

Naruto pulled the kunai out of his back with a groan while Anko walked up to him.

"Naruto?" she asked as Naruto laid on the ground with his eyes closed. "Are you dead?"

"Yes." Naruto said and got up. "But that's not gonna stop me."

When Yugito was about twenty miles away from Konoha, Naruto and Anko caught up to her.

"Yo, Yugito-san!" Naruto said with a grin. "We're your escort to Konoha. I'm Namikaze Naruto and this is Mitarashi Anko."

"Thank you. I am-"

"Nii Yugito. Kumo chunnin. We know." Anko said while Naruto looked back and sighed.

"Oh, man... There's a hole in my coat..."

They ran for a little longer before getting to the gates of Konoha.

"Good work, you two." Sarutobi said as Naruto, Anko and Yugito were in the Hokage's office. "Now, Naruto. I doubt that you'd want to wear a chunnin vest, right?"

"Damn right." Naruto said with a nod.

"Good." Sarutobi said and handed over a paper. "Less work for me. That's to make your promotion to chunnin official. It's to make sure you're ready to take responsibility of leading a squad, bla bla bla, legal crap."

Naruto smiled at Sarutobi's hate for paperwork and signed the paper.

"Congratulations, Naruto, chunnin of Konoha." Sarutobi said with a grin.

"This feels... really good." Naruto said puffing out his chest with pride.

**--This is where there should be a lemon, but I just can't seem to get it to fit in here--**

Later, Naruto and Anko sat in their beloved dango shop eating and getting drunk.

"Anko." Naruto said staring up at the sky.

"Hm?" Anko asked, her mouth too filled with dango to be able to properly respond.

"I've been thinking..."

"Oh no... That can't be good..."

"Let's move in together." Naruto said making Anko go wide eyed.

"What?"

"Let's move in together. We practically live together, anyway." Naruto said and took a sip of his sake. He was going to look at Anko for some kind of reaction, but was knocked off the bench they were sitting on when he was suddenly glomped by said snake user.

"I'd love to." Anko said while planting kisses on every piece of skin on Naruto's face.

"I've been thinking some more." Naruto said five minutes later when they sat on the bench again.

"And what's on your mind this time?" Anko asked.

Naruto's answer made Anko laugh.

"We've brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'student-teacher relationship.'" Naruto said and got up while Anko choked on her dango. "I have an appointment with my bears."

"Oh yeah? Which ones?"

"Kamo, Tsunade, Chou, Han and 'Cap 'Cap."

"Tsunade-sama? You know Tsunade of the Legendary Sannin?" Anko said and Naruto shook his head.

"No. Tsunade is a bear. She sucks so much at gambling, so she was named after that Tsunade." he said and turned to leave. "You wanna join me?"

"No thanks." Anko said with a glare. "It's useless to play against you..."

"I know." Naruto said with a grin and left in a swirl of cards.

'He's mixed the Leaf Shunshin with cards?' Anko thought as Naruto disappeared.

An hour later, a drunk Naruto was sitting in what was now his and Anko's apartment with his bears in front of him, equally drunk, except for Chou and Han who'd already left.

"Hey, Kamo..." Naruto said sitting on the floor with the cigar smoking grizzly half asleep in front of him.

"Hm?"

"About those three hundred you owe me..." Naruto said making 'Cap 'Cap immediately sober up and stare at Kamo with wide eyes.

"What about them?"

"When are you gonna pay me back?"

"When you stop being an ass." Kamo said just before his back suffered from 'Cap 'Cap landing on it.

"WHAT?!" 'Cap 'Cap shouted with a balpeen hammer in hand. "What did you just say?!"

Kamo stared at the cuddly, now terrifying bear with wide eyes before reaching into his pocket with a trembling hand.

"N-Nothin', 'Cap 'Cap. I just said that I'd p-pay him back..." he said and took out his wallet before throwing it over to Naruto. "Take out your three hundred... please?"

Naruto smiled and took out his money before throwing the wallet back to Kamo who put it back into his pocket before disappearing in a poof of smoke.

"Thanks, 'Cap." Naruto said with a grin that the polar bear mimicked.

"No problem, Bro! I love to make Kamo sweat. You just come to me if you ever have a hard time collecting his debts."

"I will." Naruto said and got up. "Well... I guess I'll better go grab a cup of coffee... then I have to train. See ya, 'Cap 'Cap."

"See ya, Bro." 'Cap 'Cap said and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Naruto sighed and went to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Meanwhile, Mai was sitting in Naruto's apartment.

'Naruto-kun hasn't come home in a while...'

As if reading her thoughts, Fate appeared in front of her sister.

"They've moved in together!" she shouted with glee. They've moved in together and you can do nothing about it!"

"What?!" Mai asked with wide eyes. "B-But I wanted to... damn." she muttered and lowered her head in defeat. Then she looked up. "But I'm not gonna give up that easily!"

"Damn..." Fate muttered as she disappeared again. "I didn't manage to fully break her spirit..."

Naruto walked down the streets of Konoha when he thought of something.

'Oh, yeah! I totally forgot about Mai...' he thought and disappeared in a swirl of cards.

Mai sat in the living room, thinking of ways to steal Naruto away from Anko, when the boy in question suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Yo, Mai! I just came by to tell you that you can have my apartment and that I'm moving in with Anko. I'll pay the next rent so you can work up the money for next month and so on-" Naruto said and stopped when he was glomped by Mai.

Mai had come to the conclusion that the only way to get Naruto was by resorting to the thing she despised to do. Begging.

"Please don't leave..." she begged into his chest as they laid on the floor.

"What?" Naruto asked with wide eyes.

"I don't want you to leave me." Mai said quietly and looked straight into Naruto's eyes. "You're the only reason I came to this village in the first place."

"But, Mai..." Naruto said, still staring at the woman as if she was crazy. "I'm dating Anko, if you hadn't noticed." he said and Mai shook her head.

"I don't mind sharing. I don't think Anko would either."

Naruto was about to answer when a knock was heard on the door. Happy to have an excuse, he left Mai on the floor to go open the door (WOO, RHYMES!).

Jiraiya was standing outside the apartment with a grin on his face.

"Yo! Hisashiburi da ne, Naruto!" he exclaimed making Naruto go wide eyed.

"Ero-sennin! What are you doing here?!"

Jiraiya smiled. "We've got a mission. Sarutobi-sensei wants us to go find my old teammate, Tsunade. I thought that since I was here, we might as well train a little while we're at it. So, you ready to go?"

"What, right now?"

"Right now." Jiraiya said with a nod.

"Fine. I'll be right back." Naruto said and closed the door, leaving Jiraiya waiting outside.

Naruto headed into the living room where Mai was waiting.

"I got a mission. We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

Mai sighed. "Okay."

"Oh, can you find Anko and tell her that I'm going on a mission?"

"Sure." Mai said wquickly making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

'Why do I feel that I've just gotten myself into a world of trouble?'

On the way towards the closest town, Naruto looked at Jiraiya.

"So, what are you gonna train me in?"

"I'm gonna teach you the Yondaime's creation, the Rasengan." Jiraiya said making Naruto go wide eyed.

"R-Really?! Cool!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin. "So, when do we start?"

"Right now." Jiraiya said and tossed Naruto a filled water balloon. "You need to pop that."

Naruto stared at the water balloon before squeezing it, making it pop. Jiraiya sighed and smacked his forehead.

"Using only your chakra, you idiot! You need to rotate the water!" he shouted and tossed the blond another balloon.

"Then why didn't you just say so?!" Naruto asked with a glare and stared and the balloon before rotating the water with his chakra.

"WHY WON'T YOU POP?!" Naruto roared at the balloon as they one hour later were in the lodging town that Naruto recognized as the place where he met Mai.

"Here. Let me show you." Jiraiya said and took out another balloon. He started rotating the water, only his balloon started getting huge bumps in it. The bumps grew bigger and bigger until the balloon popped. "There. Did you see what I did?"

Naruto stared with a hand on his chin. "You rotated the water... but you didn't do it the way I did it... Did you rotate it in several directions?"

"Good!" Jiraiya said with a smile. "Try it."

Naruto held up his balloon before rotating the water. While it rotated, he added more and more chakra swirls to the water, causing the same kind of bumps that were on Jiraiya's to appear on his balloon. It popped shortly after.

"Nice!" Jiraiya said with a grin. "Now, let's get out of town before we proceed to the next step."

Once outside the town, Jiraiya tossed Naruto a rubber ball.

"This step is a hundred times harder than the first step. It's about power. Put as much chakra as you can into it until it pops."

Naruto stared at the rubber ball before focusing on pushing as much chakra as possible into it. Three things happened.

1: The ball exploded. 2: Naruto flew away. 3: Jiraiya pissed his pants.

"Boy, am I glad that I decided to teach you this outside of town..." Jiraiya said after he'd changed to his spare pair of pants. "But, I guess you got that down fast enough. Now it's time for the last part." Jiraiya said and handed Naruto another water balloon, only this one was filled with air. "The first step was rotation, the second was power. Now, you need to mix the two and create a steady sphere inside the balloon without popping it."

"Oi, Ero-sennin... was the Yondaime a childish person?"

"Kinda, why?"

"Balloons?"

"Yeah, well... they're round... I guess he thought that they were perfect for this technique... I'm not really sure why he used balloons..." Jiraiya said scratching his head in thought while Naruto started forming his Rasengan. "Practice while we walk."

Naruto had real trouble. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't form the Rasengan into a perfect ball shape. Then he thought of something.

"Wait a minute!" he shouted and took a card out of his pocket and placing it in his hand.

"What are you doing, brat?" Jiraiya asked as Naruto concentrated, making the card float about three inches above his palm.

"I'm using the same principal as the kunai balancing exercise. I'm going to use this card as a measurement for how big the Rasengan should be." he said and started spinning the card in all directions.

"Ah... Keep the center at the same point all the time... That'll form a perfect ball." Jiraiya said with a grin as they got near the town Jiraiya had been told Tsunade was in.

"Hey! Look!" Naruto said as he started forming a Rasengan, using the card to form it into a ball.

"Good." Jiraiya said with a smile. "Now, retain it, create a shell of chakra around it to stop the chakra from leaking out."

Naruto closed his eyes and added a thin, thin layer of chakra over the ball before opening his eyes to see a perfect Rasengan, just like the ones Jiraiya had done so many times before.

"Good! Really good!" Jiraiya exclaimed, clapping his hands. "I was actually hoping it would take you a little longer... I don't want you begging me for training."

Naruto just huffed and dispelled the Rasengan before heading into the town. He turned his head a little and whispered, just loud enough for Jiraiya to hear.

"It's actually the least you could do for your student's son." he said making Jiraiya go wide eyed.

"W-What? You know?"

"I do now."

"Toki (An expression one might say if caught lying, pranking or doing something raises hand and puts pinky finger against the corner of mouth EVIL)!"

"By the way, it wasn't really hard to figure it out. I mean, take away my whisker marks and I'll look exactly like a young Yondaime. By the way, what was his name?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Minato. Namikaze Minato... Damn you brat... I promised him that I wouldn't tell you about your heritage until you made chunnin..." he said making Naruto stare at him.

"Ero-sennin... I am a chunnin..." Naruto said with a sweatdrop. Jiraiya just stood there staring at Naruto.

"You are...? Well then... It's about time I told you about who your father was." he said as if he hadn't already told the blond. "Your father was Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage and my pupil. You should know that he didn't want to seal the Kyuubi in you, but he couldn't just ask somebody else to give up their child when he had one of his own. Your mother was Uzumaki Kushina, jounin and former citizen of Uzu no Kuni (Land of Whirlpool). I'm afraid that she might think of you as a demon... she left right after the sealing..."

Naruto listened to Jiraiya, wide eyed. His mother was alive? She thought he was a demon? Cheese comes in a can?! (Nah, he didn't really think that. I just thought I'd liven the mood a little, heh, heh...)

"So... You teaching me all those years... It wasn't just a favor for Sarutobi-sensei, was it?# he asked and Jiraiya shook his head.

"No. Minato wanted me to teach you, though I didn't even know that you'd survived the sealing until Sarutobi-sensei called for me."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

"Then I guess I shouldn't hold a grudge against you." Naruto said and grinned. "Just as long as you teach me my dads techniques."

"You got yourself a deal." Jiraiya said with an identical grin.

"So..." Naruto said as they walked through the town. "How are we gonna find Tsunade?"

Jiraiya grinned. "I bet you fifty bucks that you can't find her."

"Ha!" Naruto laughed with a grin. "Prepare to pay up, old man!" he shouted and started running with Jiraiya following.

'Tsunade is a gambler and a drinker... There are no casinos in this town, so she must be in one of the bars... But which one?' Naruto thought as he ran down the street. He stopped when he saw, not one bar, but two bars. One on each side of the road. He smiled and took out a coin.

'Heads, I'll take the right one.' he thought and flipped the coin into the air before catching it and placing it on the back of his hand.

"Heads... right it is..." Naruto mumbled and turned to Jiraiya. "Hey, Ero-sennin! Let's try in here!"

Once inside, they saw a blond woman with huge breasts sitting across from her assistant, the same two women who were at the poker tournament.

"There she is!" Jiraiya exclaimed and walked over to the table, sitting down next to Tsunade while Naruto sat down next to her assistant.

"Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked with a raised eyebrow, staring at the toad hermit. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to find you." Jiraiya said with a grin and was about to keep talking when someone poked him on the shoulder. Looking towards the source, he found himself staring into an open hand with the words 'Pay up, sucker!' tattooed on it. "Oh yeah." he said and handed over the fifty bucks he owed Naruto. "By the way, Tsunade. This is my apprentice to be-"

"Naruto." Tsunade said staring at the blond. "We've met..."

"What's wrong, old lady?" Naruto asked with a grin. "Upset that I won all your money?"

"Ah!" Tsunade's assistant shouted, only now recognizing the boy. "You're that blond from the tournament!"

"Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, chunnin of Konoha and future Rokudaime Hokage, at your service." Naruto said with a grin and held out his hand. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Shizune." Shizune said with a smile and shook Naruto's hand while Tsunade stared at him with wide eyes.

"Nami...kaze..." she whispered and looked at Jiraiya who nodded with a grin.

"That's part of the reason I wanted Naruto to come with me on this mission." he said and placed a hand on Tsunade's shoulder. "Our grandson is alive, Tsunade."

Naruto heard these words and became wide eyed.

"G-Grandon?" he asked getting a happy nod from Jiraiya.

"Yeah. I didn't want to let you know until Tsunade was with us and-" Jiraiya said and saw in slow motion how Naruto's fist slowly inched its way towards his nose, where it connected with a crunch. The punch was soon accompanied by a kick to the chin, sending his face hurtling towards the hard, unforgiving floor.

"You old bastard!" Naruto shouted and grabbed Jiraiya's collar. "You knew that I was your grandson, yet you didnt tell me until now?!"

Naruto was about to continue his beating of the toad sage but suddenly found himself wrapped in a bone crushing hug, courtesy of the slug sannin.

"You're alive!" Tsunade shouted as Naruto struggled to breathe. "I-I thought you'd died! I can't believe this! We have so much to catch up on!"

"Tsunade..." Jiraiya said, now standing, as if he'd never even seen Naruto's incoming fist before. "Naruto can't breathe. We're finally reunited with our grandson, who we thought was dead, and now you try to kill him?"

Once Tsunade had wiped the tears out of her eyes and let him go, both Naruto and Tsunade glared at Jiraiya.

"Why wasn't I informed until now?" tey both asked in unison with an identical aura of death swooning over them making Jiraiya sweat.

"Because of Minato." Jiraiya said. "If Naruto had been informed about us, he'd want to know who his parents were. I promised Minato that I wouldn't tell him about his heritage until he made chunnin, which he did only recently. And you're lucky we were even sent out on this mission." Jiraiya said making Tsunade raise an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Sarutobi-sensei is retiring. You've been selected as Hokage."

"What?"

"I was originally asked to take the position, but I'm not suited for it. You're much smarter than me and much better with the whole political mumbo jumbo. So, will you take the Hokage position?" Jiraiya asked making Tsunade go wide eyed.

Naruto, who'd just come to terms with something, quickly ran up to Tsunade.

"Do it! I just thought of something! If you take the Hoakge position, I'll be related to not just the first, second or fourth Hoakge. I'd be related to the fifth Hokage as well! And I'm the apprentice of one of the third! I'm born to be Hokage! But if you don''t, I'll never forgive you." he said making Tsunade stare at him while iraiya suppressed a grin.

'Blackmail, huh? Nice, Naruto!'

"But... I'm not suited to be Hokage!" Tsunade said making Naruto smirk.

"Then how about we play a game of five card poker? No draws. We play what we have. If I win, you'll take the position of Hoakge. If you win... I'll give you everything I've ever won."

Jiraiya and Shizune were frozen on the spot as the grandmother and grandson were staring each other down. Finally, Tsunade smirked.

"Fine. But if you win, I'll also give you this." she said and pointed at the necklace hanging from her neck. "Even if I win, I'll still go to Konoha, but I won't take the Hokage position."

"Fine by me." Naruto said with a grin and sat down. "Ero-jiji." he said and turned to the hermit who got a tick appearing on his forehead. "Can you be the dealer?"

Jiraiya sighed and took out a deck of cards from his jacket. He shuffled them and dealt the cards, suite up.

Tsunade: Seven of hearts

Naruto: King of diamonds

Tsunade: Two of hearts

Naruto: Ace of clubs

Tsunade: King of hearts

Naruto: King of Spades

Tsunade: Jack of hearts

Naruto: Ace of diamond

Tsunade: Nine of hearts

Tsunade had a flush and Naruto had two pairs with one card to go. Jiraiya gulped and deal the last card, slowly.

Ace of Spades.

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin. "You're coming with us, Baa-chan!"

Normally, Tsunade would break the skull of anyone who'd dare call her Baa-chan. But Naruto was her grandson, so he was entitled of calling her Baa-chan.

"I guess that's true..." Tsunade said and took off her necklace before hanging it around Naruto's neck. "Grow up into a good man and a great Hokage."

"I will." Naruto said with a grin. "I promise you that."

* * *

**Now, how do you like that? They were his grandparents! Next chapter will include Tsunade's coronation to Hokage, Sasuke's jealousy, a heated spar between Lee and Naruto and more! Expect a 10,000 word chapter!**

**R&R! I'm expecting it!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Alright! It's not 10,000, but it's 8,000+... I'm afraid I just can't think of anything else right now...**

"106..." Naruto said standing next to Jiraiya as they watched Tsunade accept the title of Hokage.

"What?" Jiraiya asked and traced Naruto's line of sight to see him staring at Tsunade's breasts.

"106 cm..." Naruto said making Jiraiya chuckle before looking down at the crowd. While Tsunade gave her little speech, Naruto and Jiraiya kept themselves from getting too bored by pointing out various girls' breast sizes, earning them both a whack on the head from Anko who proceeded to drag Naruto home with her.

"Anko... we need to talk..." Naruto said as they sat in the living room with a saucer of sake in hand.

"Hm?" Anko asked and raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"Mai." Naruto said and sighed when he saw Anko's blank expression. "The woman who came with me here after the poker tournament."

"Oh, that blond woman. What about her?"

"She seems to be... in love with me..."

"And? Did you tell her that you were seeing me?" Anko asked getting a nod from Naruto.

"Yeah... She said that she wouldn't mind... sharing..." he said making Anko put a hand on her chin.

"Well... I don't think I'd mind sharing either..." she said making Naruto's eyes widen. "And think of what we could do in bed with an extra player on the team."

Naruto's mind immediately started filling with mental pictures of him, Mai and Anko in every sexual position he'd ever heard of. Needless to say, he had to pinch his nose in order to stop himself from passing out on the count of severe bloodloss.

"Besides," Anko said with her eyes closed in thought. "you're the 'last' of your clan. Tsunade-sama can't produce anymore children, so it'll be up to you to revive the clan. According to the Clan Resurrection law, you need to have at least three wives." she said making Naruto choke on his sake.

"T-Three?! Where the hell am I supposed to get three wives?!"

"Well, you know for sure that you got one." Anko said with a smile as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "And that Mai could be a possible one... So, you only have one left."

"My life seems to be getting more and more complicated for each passing day..." Naruto said with a sigh and took another sip of his sake.

Anko shrugged. "Live with it."

"So..." Naruto said sitting in Tsunade's new office with Jiraiya and Tsunade. "I have two questions. Question number one; how did you two hook up and two; why wasn't my father told of it?"

Jiraiya grinned. "Well, I guess I can answer the first question. It was a beautiful winter night in Mizu no Kuni. Tsunade was a little cold and I figur-"

"We both got drunk." Tsunade said simply after bashing Jiraiya's head into the floor. "None of us can remember what really happened. Though the pervert thinks he remembers it."

"Ah... And what about dad?"

"Oh, he knew. We told him when he became chunnin, when he was old enough to defend himself from anyone who might hold a grudge against us, though I think he suspected it all along." Jiraiya said as Tsunade got up and walked over to the Yondaime's picture on the wall. She bit her thumb and swiped some blood over it, making it disappear with a poof to reveal a safe. After opening it, Tsunade handed over a bundle of cloth.

"What's this?" Naruto asked as he took the cloth. Folding it out revealed that it was an almost exact replica of the Yondaime's coat, only it had the text 'Will of Fire' on the back instead of 'Fourth' and it had long sleeves.

"Minato wanted you to have that." Tsunade said as Naruto took off his own coat in order to put on his new one. "He said that he wanted you to look like him. The coat has a special seal that adjusts to your body size. Even if you grow five more feet, the coat would still fit you."

Naruto smiled and turned to Jiraiya. "Oh, by the way. For also keeping the fact that you're my grandparents from me, you'll have to teach me, not only my father's jutsus, but your own as well."

"Sorry, no can do, brat." Jiraiya said making Naruto raise an eyebrow. "In order for you to learn all my techniques, you need to go through the training I went through."

"I don't want to learn Senjutsus yet." Naruto said with a grin. "Only Ninjutsu an Taijutsu."

"Very well." Jiraiya said with an identical grin. "But I don't know what Sarutobi-sensei would say if I just stole you from him."

"Well, let's go talk to him then." Naruto said and disappeared in a swirl of cards.

Meanwhile, in Anko's and Naruto's apartment.

Anko was sitting in front of Mai who just sat there.

"So, what did you bring me here for?" Mai asked.

"I've heard that you are... interested in Naruto-kun." Anko said with narrowed eyes.

"Well, yeah. I've already told him, so I'm not gonna bother hiding it from you."

"Did you know that, according to the law, Naruto-kun must have three wives?" Anko asked making Mai's eyes widen.

"N-No. I didn't." she responded, though she was chuckling in her mind. 'Yes I did!'

"Do you really love him? Naruto-kun has suffered a lot in his life. I don't want to see him get hurt again, so I ask you. Do you love him?"

"Yes." Mai said truthfully getting a grin from Anko.

"Good!" she exclaimed, thinking about what she could put Naruto through when he came home and met the two.

Naruto, who had just started talking to Sarutobi with Jiraiya next to him, suddenly shuddered.

"What's wrong, Naruto?" Sarutobi asked.

"I just had a bad feeling... as if... as if death was hovering over me..." Naruto said with a bead of sweat rolling down his face. "Anko must've gotten an idea."

"Well, Naruto-kun. I think Jiraiya could teach you techniques not even I could teach you." Sarutobi said puffing on his pipe, all the while trying to push down the perverted blush that was threatening to come up, thinking about what kind of ideas Anko could've had.

"No." Jiraiya said shaking his head. "I will not teach him my Senjutsus. I'm not good enough at using them to teach yet. Only the toads of Mt Myobokuzan are good enough to teach those jutsus."

"... Toads can teach?" Naruto asked with a sweatdrop in the back of his head. "I thought all they were good for was slicing, drinking and smoking..."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Jiraiya asked with a grin.

"So, anyway..." Naruto said and turned to Sarutobi. "I wanna pierce my eyebrow." he said making Sarutobi choke on his pipe, literally. He was so chocked that he actually sucked his pipe down into his throat, choking on the smoke and burning his upper lip as well.

"W-What?!" Sarutobi shouted once he'd gotten the pipe out of his mouth. "No way! There's just no way that I'm letting you defile yourself like that!"

"Sarutobi-sensei..." Naruto said with a sigh. "You've already let me get a tattoo... That's just as defiling as a piercing..."

"I never let you get a tattoo, Naruto..." Sarutobi said with a glare. "You knocked me out with your damnable Orioke..."

"Oh yeah!" Naruto exclaimed while Jiraiya got an idea.

"Hey, sensei. I'm actually Naruto's grandfather, so it should be me who approves of such things. But, seeing as you've practically been his grandfather... I'm gonna leave it to you. Though... if you deny it, I'm not gonna give you my latest Icha Ichas for free... You'll have to pay full price." he said making Sarutobi's eyes widen.

'Icha Icha, Nurses edition! No romance, no plot! Just three volumes of non stop hospital smut! I must have it!' Sarutobi thought with a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. "Fine! Go get your eyebrow, lips, nipples, whatever you want pierced! Give me those books!" he exclaimed making Naruto grin.

"Thanks, sensei!" he said and disappeared in a swirl of cards.

"You know..." Jiraiya said and handed over the three volumes of Icha Icha, Nurses edition to Sarutobi. "You just showed that you care more for my books than for Naruto's well being."

"I know." Sarutobi said as he grabbed the books. "But he knows that I'd rather torch all my Icha Icha books than let him die or lose a limb or something serious like that."

In the Konoha Tattoo and Needle Parlor, Naruto appeared in a swirl of leaves in front of a bald man wearing a white tank top, jeans and sneakers.

"Hey, Ami (Miami Ink)! I just got permission to get my eyebrow and my ear pierced!" Naruto said with a grin making Ami raise an eyebrow.

"Hey, Naruto." Ami said as he took out his needle. "Are you sure your... condition is gonna let you pierce your eyebrow? I mean, won't it just heal?"

"Not right away, so it'll be just like with everyone else. The hole will heal around the metal."

"Right." Ami said with a nod as he walked up to Naruto. "I would say something like 'Take a deep breath, this is gonna hurt', but I'm guessing you've gone through worse pains than this..." he said and grabbed on to Naruto's left ear.

"Yeah. Just a few days ago, I got my back pierced by a kunai. Just that is far worse than this. Not to mention all the other pains I've had to suffer through..."

"Like what?" Ami asked as he quickly, and painfully, pushed the needle through Naruto's ear.

"Well... There was this one time when Anko decided to try some S&M... I still have some hard time healing the wounds on my back from the whipping..."

"Ouch." Ami said and put a solid gold ring in Naruto's ear. "Alright! Next, the eyebrow! Which one do you want? Left or right?"

"Take the right. Otherwise, I'd feel unbalanced." Naruto said as Ami took out his plier that he proceeded to stick to the far right side of the blond's eyebrow. (What's it called? You know, the pliers that people use to hold up the skin that's supposed to be pierced?)

"Say Icha." Ami said as he got ready to pierce the skin.

Naruto took a deep breath. "Ich-AH!" he exclaimed as the needle went through his eyebrow. "That hurt a lot more than I'd expected it to..."

"I know. We have a lot of nerves in the eyebrow." Ami said as he took out four items from his desk. "So, gold ring, silver ring, gold rod or silver rod?"

Naruto, still with the needle in his eyebrow, put a hand on his chin.

"Take the gold rod."

Meanwhile, in Naruto's and Anko's apartment.

"He's taking an awful lot of time, isn't he?" Mai asked with a sigh as they waited for Naruto.

"Yeah..." Anko said as she came out of the kitchen with a bottle of sake. "There's only one thing we can do to pass the time. Drink!"

Five hours later, Naruto returned home to find Anko passed out in the living room, on the table with an empty bottle of sake in her hand while Mai was passed out on the couch, also with an empty bottle of sake in her hand. Two other bottles laid empty on the floor, long since emptied. Naruto noticed that there was an Ace mark on every bottle. His eye twitched.

'They drank all my sake...?' he thought and walked up to Anko. "Anko! Oi! Wake up!"

Anko was forcefully awoken by Naruto kicking the table, knocking it and her over in the process.

"What the..." she asked as she looked around, only to spot the pissed off face of Naruto. "Naruto-kun...? What's wrong?"

"You..." Naruto growled with vengeance gleaming in his eyes. "You... drank all my sake?"

Anko stared at the bottle in her hand before shaking it slightly.

"There's still a few drops left in this. Here." she said and held out the bottle making Naruto shake his head with a sigh.

"No thanks..."

"Well, we wouldn't have had to drink all your sake if you'd come home sooner! We had all sorts of things planned for you! What were you doing, anyway?!" Anko shouted, not noticing the new piercings.

"I got some piercings and two new tattoos." Naruto said and showed the right side of his chest where the kanji for Fire was tattoed and under it was the kanji for Oil and under that was the mark of the Senju clan. "Then I went into the back with Ami and won all my money back. So, technically, I got the piercings and the tattoos for free. Now, what's Mai doing here?"

"Oh, we've been talking." Anko said and got up. "And we've decided to share you." she said with a sugar sweet smile. "And you're going to take us as your wives."

Naruto just stared at Anko for a second before grabbing the sake bottle and swallowing the few last drops.

"Wives? You've decided it so soon? I mean, I hardly know Mai!"

Anko shrugged. "So, take her on a date." she said and woke the sleeping blond. "Hey, Mai! Naruto is here."

Mai mumbled for a while before realizing what the snake user had just said.

"Ah, welcome back, Naruto-kun! Boy, do we have something special planned for you!" she said and suddenly glomped the poor boy with Anko following.

'And I need one more?!' Naruto thought with anime tears flowing down his face.

"Hey, Naruto!" Jiraiya shouted the next day, knocking on the door to Naruto's and Anko's apartment. "Wake up! I have news!"

The door opened to reveal a sleepy eyed Naruto, wearing only a pair of black ninja pants, who looked worse for wear.

"Hm? Ero-Ojii-san? What are you doing here?" he asked making Jiraiya's eye twitch.

"Don't call me that, brat! At least call me Ojii-san! Anyway, I have news."

"News?" Naruto asked rubbing his eyes. "And what news were important enough to wake me up?"

"It's about your mom." Jiraiya said making Naruto immediately wake up.

"What?! What about her?!"

"Well, I don't quite know how to tell you this..." Jiraiya said awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "It seems like Minato put another bun in her oven before she left... She now lives in a small town on the border of Hi no Kuni... with your fourteen year old sister, Misao..."

Naruto just stared at Jiraiya for a while before closing the door, leaving the hermit outside while the blond put his clothes on, left a note for Mai and Anko and disappeared in a swirl of cards, only to reappear in Tsunade's office where said blond Hokage was cursing the evils of paperwork.

"Baa-chan!" Naruto shouted as he slammed his hand into the desk. "I need to leave the village for a short amount of time and I'm not gonna take no for an answer!"

Tsunade sighed. "You're going to see Kushina, aren't you?"

"Yes." Naruto said with a nod as Tsunade handed over a piece of paper.

"I've already granted you a months free vacation. I knew that you'd want to go see her the moment you heard of her... If she doesn't see you as a demon, try to bring her here. I'd want to meet my granddaughter as well."

"I will." Naruto said and took the paper before disappearing in a swirl of cards again.

Naruto appeared at the north gate with a sigh as he summoned Chou and Han.

"Hey, guys... You wanna go on a trip with me?"

"A trip? Where to, Naruto-kun?" Han asked while Chou huffed.

"Well, I don't wanna go... There are a lot more things that are more fun than going on a trip with Mr Blond-Win-A-Lot here..."

"We're going to a small town just north of here, at the Hi no Kuni border." Naruto said, completely ignoring Chou. "We're going to see my mother."

Chou's ears perked on that.

"Your mother? Well, this I gotta see. Fine, brat. I'll go."

"I'll come too, Naruto-kun." Han said sweetly and climbed onto and hung on Naruto's left shoulder while Chou hung onto the right (Like Yashiru hangs on Kenpachi's shoulder.)

"You know..." Naruto said with a sigh. "Both of you together are kinda heavy..."

"Think positive, Naruto-kun." Han said getting a nod from Chou.

"Yeah. Think of it as training. Now! Mush!"

"I'm not a sled hound..." Naruto said as Chou slapped the back of his head.

"I don't care, brat. I said mush!" the bear said and lapped Naruto's head again.

Naruto sighed with a smile on his face and took off running with two grinning bears on his shoulders.

* * *

Kushina's life was, all in all, normal. She lived healthily, worked at the local store, had friends and a beautiful daughter who'd, fortunately, managed to grow up without having to be a ninja. She had a nice little house just outside of town with a convenient, natural hot spring just behind the house. As she sat in the store, she suddenly felt a tingle in the back of her head.

'Something important is gonna happen...' she thought before shrugging it off as nothing.

* * *

Uzumaki, unofficially Namikaze, Misao's life was also normal. She stood at 5' 3" tall, had long, blond hair that reached her lower back and had emerald green eyes. She wore a simple, blue kimono with sakura leaves adorning the right sleeve. She, like her mother, ate healthily and worked part time at the store to help her mom. She was sitting at home, drinking tea, when she felt a tingle in the back of her head.

'I feel that... something important is gonna happen...'

* * *

Naruto was running through the thick forest of Hi no Kuni, feeling more and more excited with each and every step closer to Kishimoto town (I'm calling it that in honor of the man who's change my life.)

Naruto suddenly stopped and jump back when he heard a slight whistling sound. At the spot where he stood a second earlier, a giant shuriken embedded itself into the ground.

"Hn." came a voice from behind him. "I figured it would take more than that to destroy you... Konoha's Cardshark. I see you've had a change of wardrobe."

Naruto turned around and saw a boy standing at 5' 7" with green hair tied in a ponytail that reach down between his shoulder blades. He had raven black eyes and a scar that went from the corner of his right eye down to the right corner of his mouth. He wore black shinobi sandals, black shinobi pants, a purple T-shirt with a black leather vest over it. His hitai-ate was tied to his right bicep where symbol for Kumo was with a long scratch going through it.

"Hey! You're that guy from Wave, the one who was with Zabuza!" Naruto exclaimed getting a nod from the boy.

"Indeed." the boy said and bowed. "My name is Jurin (Forest). Pleased to meet you, Uzumaki Naruto. I'm sure we could've been friends, had you not decided to make Zabuza-sama your enemy."

"I don't remember making Zabuza my enemy." Naruto said calmly. "We were just playing on different teams on that one mission."

"Yes, but you pissed him off." Jurin said and placed his hand in a half ram seal. "Now, I'm afraid we must fight..."

Naruto's eyes widened as a rock spike shot out of the ground behind him. It would've pierced his heart, had he not dodged while his bears poofed away on his order.

"Bastard!" Naruto growled and tossed a card charged with Kyuubi chakra at Jurin who jumped out of the way.

* * *

Misao had just finished her tea when a knock was heard on the door. When she opened it, she saw a boy, who looked like a girl, wearing a greenish blue kimono standing there with a sweet smile on his face.

"Uzumaki-san." the boy said with a bow of his head. "I'm Haku. I'm afraid I'm here to kill you."

Misao could just stared with wide eyes before taking off, going past Haku who sighed before calmly following.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kushina was walking home when the road was covered with a thick mist.

"Konoha's Scarlet Rose... I can just say that it's going to be an honor to fight you..." came a voice through the mist. "I hope your skills haven't dulled."

"What?" Kushina asked with narrowed eyes. "Why do you wish to fight me? There's no bounty on my head."

"That's true." came the voice. "But your child has enraged me. For that, you must die as well."

'What could Misao have done to...' Kushina thought with wide eyes before, purely out of old reflexes, dodging the swing of a giant zanbatou.

* * *

"Hey, Jurin-san." Naruto said as he stood twenty feet away from Jurin who was panting slightly. "Where's Zabuza and that other kid?"

"Zabuza-sama and Haku-san have other objectives. I can assure you that they all involve you."

Naruto only had time to raise an eyebrow before a girls screaming was heard from behind him. He glared at Jurin with narrowed eyes.

"You wouldn't..."

"A skilled warrior attacks neither mind nor soul." Jurin said with a grin. "He attacks the heart."

"K-Kaa-san! Nee-chan!" Naruto shouted in realization before taking out five decks of cards. "I guess I'll have to finish you off quickly then..." he said and placed the five stacked decks on the ground.

Naruto went through a long chain of seals before slamming his palm onto the cards, pushing them down into the ground.

"Ninpou: Nihyakurokujuu Karuta no Mai!" he shouted as the cards shot up around Jurin and formed a dome. "These cards will now suck your chakra until you die from chakra exhaustion. Have fun."

Naruto left Jurin to his fate and sped off towards where the scream came from.

* * *

Misao was running through the forest. Haku was just toying with her! He just appeared in front of her whenever he wanted.

"Please, Uzumaki-san, stay still so we can do this nice and easy. I don't want to get too rough on you." Haku said as he once again appeared in front of the terrified Misao. He was just about to lodge his senbon into her head when a card suddenly came flying through the forest. Haku dodged just enough for the card to miss his throat, only managing to create a small cut on his neck.

"You know... It's not nice, chasing a defenseless woman around like that." Naruto said as he walked into the clearing they were in.

Misao's eyes widened when she saw him. Spiky, blond hair, white coat and blue eyes.

"Tou-san...?"

"Naruto-kun." Haku said as he stared at Naruto who just glared at him coldly. "I thought Jurin-san was supposed to take care of you..."

"Oh, he's busy right now." Naruto said calmly as Jurin's scream was heard throughout the forest. "He's just about to die from chakra exhaustion. Or I could just..." he said and put his hand in a half ram seal. "Katsu..."

* * *

Jurin was panting. He didn't have enough chakra left to attempt an escape. What was he to do? Just then, the cards started glowing.

"What the...?" was all Jurin could say before the cards closed in on him and exploded on contact, sending a violent shockwave throughout the forest with the power of the explosion.

* * *

"What the...?" Kushina asked as she dodged yet another swipe from the giant cleaver.

"What's wrong, Konoha's Scarlet Angel?" Zabuza asked with a grin. "This is not the woman I've heard stories about. What's happened to you?" he asked as he appeared in front of the now wide eyed woman. "It's over."

Kushina barely had time to react when the giant cleaver came down upon her.

* * *

"You tried to hurt my sister..." Naruto said with a glare so cold that it could freeze fire. "That's unforgivable."

"Sister...?" Misao asked, totally clueless.

'Shit...' Naruto thought with a twitch of his eye. 'I used up too much chakra with that last attack... I don't want to have to use my Oni Juuin in front of Misao... Fuck it!' he thought as he activated his Oni Juuin. Black flame like markings spread over his face as he felt a new and powerful surge of chakra flowing through him. "Now we play."

Naruto disappeared, only to reappear behind Haku, delivering a powerful backhand to the boy, sending him flying.

"Not enough!" Naruto shouted and blurred away. He appeared in front of the flying Haku where he proceeded to deliver an uppercut to his jaw, launching him into the air before the blond once again blurred away.

Naruto appeared behind Haku in the air where he grabbed the boy, keeping him in an iron grip as the stopped in the air and plummeted headfirst towards the ground.

"This is something I learned from the Azure Beast of Konoha! (Is that what Gai calls himself?)" Naruto shouted as they started spinning.

Misao could only watch as the two plummeted towards the ground at an extremely high speed before hitting the ground, causing a minor earthquake.

Naruto sighed as he came out of the crater where the lifeless Haku was buried to his waist under the ground.

"Nee-chan..." Naruto said as he looked at the immobile Misao. "I know this is hard for you to comprehend, but I'm your brother and right now we need to get to our mom faster than fast." he said and turned around. "Now, hop on."

The stunned Misao complied without a word.

* * *

'Shit, shit, shit!' Kushina thought as she held a hand over the gaping wound in her shoulder. 'I was barely able to dodge that one... Why did I have to stop training?! I could've trained Misao as well, but no! I wanted to raise her in a world without violence!'

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear..." Zabuza said as he once again appeared in front of her. "It's over!" he shouted and swung again.

A sudden gust of wind blew away the mist as something stopped his blade. Looking up, Zabuza saw Naruto, with flame markings covering his face, standing in front of him, blocking his zanbatou with a kunai. The boy sighed.

"Yare, yare... It's seems that I made it in time..." he said as Misao got off his back to hug her mom. "I'll talk to you later. I'm just going to take care of this eyebrow less, over compensating freak."

Zabuza was too pissed off about the remark to notice the stomp kick that suddenly connected with his stomach, sending him skidding backwards before coming to a stop ten feet away.

"That hurt, brat." Zabuza growled and gestured for the markings. "What's up with those things? Decided to destroy your face with tattoos? And why hasn't Jurin or Haku already taken care of you?"

"Oh, these?" Naruto asked with a grin. "No. This is just a little... upgrade. And since you threatened my family, I'll show it to you first hand. By the way, Haku-san and Jurin-san are already dead."

Naruto blurred out of view and appeared above Zabuza preparing an axe kick. Zabuza raised his zanbatou to block the incoming leg. The metal groaned as the foot connected with it, threatening to break it. As soon as he landed, Naruto quickly followed up with a sweeping kick that Zabuza jumped over making Naruto smirk.

'Just as planned.' he thought and grabbed Zabuza's feet while the man was in the air.

'What the...?' Zabuza thought as Naruto started spinning. 'Oh, shit!'

"Misao..." Kushina said staring at the now spinning blond. "Who is that?"

"I don't know. He said that he was my brother and that you're his mother but... he died, didn't he?"

"Naruto..." Kushina said with wide eyes. "Is that... Naruto?"

Naruto grinned as he let go of Zabuza, sending him flying into a nearby tree. He sped after the man a dropkicked him in the chest, landing in a handstand. Zabuza growled and attempted a helmet breaker, but Naruto jumped out of the way while taking two dice out of his pocket and throwing them at Zabuza who stared wide eyed as Naruto formed three handseals.

'Bird, Snake, Tiger!' he thought with a grin. "Ninpou: Kibaku Chouhan!"

The dice were just an inch away from Zabuza's face when they exploded. (Think like what happens in Spiderman 3 when Harry's bomb explodes next to his face, it goes in slow motion like that.)

The shockwave was massive. It blew Kushina and Misao off their feet while Naruto just stood there calmly with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess I put too much chakra into those..." he said staring at the pair of feet that was all that remained of Zabuza while the Oni Juuin withdrew. Naruto sighed and turned around. "Hi, mom." and with that, he passed out.

* * *

**"That was the first time you used the Oni Juuin intentionally, wasn't it?"** asked a rumbling voice from behind him as Naruto regained consciousness, floating around in foul smelling water.

"Hm, Kyuubi?" Naruto asked without opening his eyes. "Am I here again?"

**"Yep."** Kyuubi said making Naruto sigh as he opened his eyes and got up.

"So, is there any way to get rid of this smell?"

Kyuubi shrugged. **"It's your mind, Kit. I guess you'll just have to think about something... I don't know..."**

Naruto closed his eyes and thought about the luscious green forest just outside Konoha, only with a huge lake in the middle of it. When Kyuubi gasped, he knew he'd succeeded.

Naruto opened his eyes ad saw no cage, only Kyuubi with a collar around its neck.

**"Oh, my god..."** Kyuubi said staring at the lake. **"I have to take a bath!"**

Naruto could only stare wide eyed as the Kyuubi started running towards the lake, shrinking as it did. It shrunk until it was the size of a human before getting up on two legs like a humanoid. The fur dropped to reveal one of the most beautiful women Naruto had ever seen. She was as tall as Naruto with a D cup, long flowing orange hair and slitted orange eyes. There was one thing that bothered Naruto. She was naked.

"Um... Kyuubi?" he asked just as she was about to dive in.

"No." Kyuubi said with a smile. "When I'm in this form, I'm known as Megami."

Naruto pinched his nose and closed his eyes. "You... do know that you're naked, right?"

"I'm always naked. Clothes are so constricting." Megami said and walked over to Naruto with a smirk on her face. "Are you feeling uncomfortable, Naruto-kun?"

"No! Of course not! Why would I feel uncomfortable staring at a naked, thousand year old demon?" Naruto asked in a tone that was dripping with sarcasm.

"So you admit to staring at me?" Megami asked with a grin making Naruto's eye twitch.

"Just... go take a bath..." Naruto said with a glare. "You stink of sewage water."

"What?! How can you say that?! Don't you know how to be a gentleman?!" Kyuubi shouted sending Naruto a heated glare.

"I'm just stating the truth." Naruto said as he took off his coat. "In fact, I stink too." and with that, he jumped into the water.

"Bastard... He didn't even apologize..." Kyuubi muttered before she too jumped into the lake.

* * *

"What do you think?" Misao asked as she and Kushina sat in their house, staring at the unconscious Naruto. "Could he be faking it? I mean, didn't the council tell you that he'd died?"

Kushina sighed. "I've already sent a messenger hawk to Konoha, asking Sarutobi if Naruto really is dead. For now, we wait."

Misao searched through Naruto's pockets and found eighteen dice and three decks of cards with the Konoha emblem on them.

"Hey, look at this." she said and held up another deck of cards, this one with a large pierce mark in the middle. "Let's see what else is in here..."

"Misao! He's a shinobi! If he finds out that you've gone through his stuff, he could easily kill you!" Kushina shouted while Misao waved her off.

"Come on, Kaa-san. If he wanted us dead, he wouldn't have gone through so much trouble saving us, would he?" she asked as she took out a scroll and opened it. "Hey, Kaa-san. What's this?"

Kushina grabbed the scroll and examined it.

"These are blood seals... Wait... Cards," she read on one seal. "Dice, Sake... He's a gambling alcoholic?"

"I'm not a certified alcoholic yet." Naruto said with a grin as he suddenly woke up. "But I'm close."

Kushina and Misao sweatdropped.

"Who are you?" Kushina asked after regaining her composure.

"I'm Senju Uzumaki Namikaze Naruto, Konoha's Cardshark, descendant of Shodai-sama and Nidaime-sama, grandson of Tsunade of the sannin and Jiraiya of the sannin and your and the Yondaime's son." Naruto said simply while Kushina just stared.

"That's impossible! My son died on the day of the Kyuubi attack!"

"I can assure you that I am very much alive." Naruto said with a grin as he took back everything they'd taken out of his pockets. "But what makes you think that I was dead?"

"The council told me." Kushina said making Naruto narrow his eyes with a growl.

"I should unleash 'Cap 'Cap on their asses... Or maybe BlackJack..."

"'Cap 'Cap? BlackJack?" Misao asked with a raised eyebrow. "Who're they?"

"They're my summons." Naruto said with a smile. "I would summon 'Cap 'Cap, but I don't have enough chakra for it yet..."

Just then, a messenger hawk came flying in through the window and landed on Kushina's shoulder. She removed the scroll from its back and opened it.

_Dear Kushina._

_I'm glad to know that you're alive and well. I'm afraid Sarutobi-sensei isn't Hokage anymore. I've taken the position of Godaime Hokage._

_As for Naruto, it's true. He is alive and has been for the last fifteen years. Don't even think about yelling at me when you come to Konoha. I had no idea he was alive either. Jiraiya knew, but he couldn't find you, no one could. Naruto went to find you as soon as he heard where you were. Please come back to Konoha. We can talk more here._

_Senju Tsunade, Godaime Hokage._

Kushina stared at the letter, then at Naruto, then at the letter again, then she burst into tears before enveloping him in a bone crushing hug.

"Naruto!"

Naruto gasped. "Gah! Muscles... sore! Chakra... low! Back... breaking! Air supply... almost empty! Dying!" he managed to wheeze out making his mother release him, letting him let out a sigh of relief, before getting enveloped by another bone crushing hug, courtesy of his sister.

"Pain!" was all he could say as he literally felt three ribs snap. 'Why wasn't she this strong when she met H-AH (It was an AH of pain)-ku?!'

"I... I don't know what to say..." Kushina said staring at the floor with shame. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I didn't check for myself when I heard you was dead..."

"Exactly how did I die according to those imaginative old farts?" Naruto asked rubbing his sore ribcage after being released by his sister.

"They said that the sealing went wrong. That your body couldn't handle the stress of having that much chakra sealed in you... I'm gonna kill them..."

"No you're not." Naruto said simply as he stood up. "Though you are coming with me to Konoha, you're not gonna kill them. Killing them would make you a criminal, and I don't want my newly found mother to turn into a fugitive." he said and took out a soldier pill to recover a large amount of chakra. "This should be enough to summon..."

* * *

Two hours later, Kushina and Misao were all packed up and ready to go.

"Alright." Naruto said and bit his thumb before forming a couple of handseals. "I hope I've recovered enough chakra for this... Kuchiyose no jutsu!" he called and slammed his palm into the ground. There was a giant explosion of smoke making Misao and Kushina cover their eyes. When they opened them again, they noticed that they were standing on a giant panda wearing a black vest, black bandana and spiked braces. He had a wakizashi strapped to his back and a baseball bat hanging from a black leather belt around his waist. On the back of the vest was the kanji for House. The really strange thing, at least to Misao, was that the panda was 660 feet tall.

"Yo, Naruto! Hisashiburi!" the panda shouted with a grin eying the panting Naruto.

"Yeah." Naruto said with an identical grin. "Hey, BlackJack! I want you to meet my mom, Kushina and my sister, Misao. Guys, this is BlackJack."

"Pleased to meet you both." BlackJack said with a lazy wave. "So, why summon me? I don't see an all powerful super opponent nearby..." he said looking over the landscape.

"Well, I know you're gonna be pissed about this, but we need a ride to Konoha."

BlackJack sighed. "I see... Well, I'll do it, but only because you got 'Cap 'Cap to go ballistic on Kamo. You should've seen him when he got home. I've never seen an arm bend the way Kamo's did." he said with a hearty laugh. "Well, hang on!"

BlackJack grinned as he started running through the landscape, decimating the forest as he did.

Halfway to Konoha, BlackJack did something he'd never done before. He tripped and fell, hitting the ground with a crash. Kushina and Misao held onto the panda for dear life while Naruto just sighed, having had enough experience of a drunk Bakuchiuchi falling to knowhow to balance himself.

"Shit..." BlackJack muttered with a groan. "That's never happened before..."

Naruto sighed. "BlackJack... Are you drunk?"

"No!" the panda shouted as he got up. "I can't be! I didn't drink that much, only a bottle of sake!"

"That's a lot, BlackJack... Especially for a lightweight like yourself... Just... Just walk the rest of the way."

"Alright..." BlackJack saidd with a sigh and and solemnly walked the rest of the way to Konoha with a sighing Naruto and two sweatdropping women on his head.

* * *

Tsunade sat in her office, enjoying some well earned sake when a loud crash was heard, causing a minor earthquake. She looked out just in time to duck for three incoming individuals that flew through her window, nearly giving her a heart attack.

"What the hell?!" she shouted as she gazed upon the three figures, one male and two females, on the floor. "N-Naruto?"

Naruto got up with a growl as he held his aching head.

"Damn BlackJack, I told him not to run..." he muttered and looked up. "Yo, Baa-cha-" was all he could say before getting socked in the mouth by a pissed off Tsunade.

"Hey, brat! What are you thinking, crashing through my window like that?! And to top it off, you're getting up like nothing happened!"

"Blue chihuahua..." the dazed Naruto said from his hole in the wall making Tsunade sweatdrop.

"I've never heard of a blue chihuahua before..." Kushina said as she got up next to Tsunade who stared at her for a moment before gasping.

"Kushina!" she shouted and hugged the slightly terrified woman. "It's so good to see you again!"

"Likewise." Kushina said with a grin and gestured for Misao who was just getting up. "This is your granddaughter, Misao."

The poor girl was enveloped in a death hug as well...

"Now, Naruto-" Tsunade said turning to the hole in the wall, only to find that the blond gambler was no longer there. He was sitting behind the desk chugging down the rest of her precious sake. Once he'd swallowed the last drop, he stood up.

"Alright!" he said with a sigh. "I'm ready to go meet my... fiancées..." and with that, he disappeared in a swirl of cards.

Tsunade stared at the spot where he'd once been. "My... sake..." she said making the other two sweatdrop.

"Ano... Tsunade..." Kushina said waving her hand in front of the frozen Hokage. She could literally see the fuse in the blond's head getting burned out. 'Here comes the explosion...'

"NARUTO!!"

* * *

Naruto sat in his apartment with Anko and Mai silently staring at him.

"No." Naruto said making the two raise an eyebrow.

"No?" Anko asked. "What do you mean no?"

"I'm not agreeing to the whips again." Naruto said with a glare making Anko pout.

"Oh, come on! Mai-chan has never tried it before!"

"No."

"Hot candle wax?"

"No!"

Anko put a hand on her chin.

"Okay, how about..."

"Whips, chains AND hot candle wax!" Mai cut in with a grin making Naruto stare at her.

'How am I gonna survive this?' he thought as he unsealed a bottle of sake from a scroll and started chugging it down.

* * *

The next day, Naruto walked out of the bedroom as quietly as possible and put his clothes on before getting ready to leave when a knock was heard on the door. He opened it to reveal Kurenai standing outside the apartment with a paper bag in her hand.

"Oh, good morning, Naruto-san." she said and held up the bag. "I'm here to deliver dango for Anko."

Naruto stared at her, then at the bag, then at her again. He walked up to her and opened the bag, taking out a stick of dango and gesturing for her to go in with his head before walking out of the apartment, chewing on the dango and muttering something about what sounded like whips and wax, wincing as he did.

Kurenai walked inside, staring at Naruto's retreating figure with a raised eyebrow.

"Oi!" Kurenai shouted as she closed the door. "Dango delivery!"

Anko came out of the bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of black silk thongs. Kurenai, who was used to seeing Anko like this, didn't even blush out of embarrassment.

"Oh, where's Naruto-kun?" Anko asked looking around the apartment.

"He left." Kurenai said as she handed over the dango bag. "He muttered something about whips and wax... Anko, what did you put that poor soul through yesterday?"

Anko smirked. "Oh, wouldn't you like to know?"

"Anko..."

"Oh, we were just sealing the deal, unofficially making me and Mai-chan in there Naruto's fiancées."

"F-Fiancées?!" Kurenai shouted in shock. "Can he really have two?"

"Well, he's obligated to have three. It's all because of the Clan Resurrection law. I've seen the way you've been looking at him, Kurenai-chan. You want in?" Anko asked with a playful grin making Kurenai blush.

* * *

"Three of you are to blame..." Naruto said laying on the Hokage Monument with the dango stick in his mouth. "If the three of you had managed to keep the clan populated for a longer amount of time, I wouldn't be laying here with whip marks covering my back... or burn marks on my gut..." he muttered with a sigh. A chuckle was heard from behind him.

"Got into a fight last night, brat?" Jiraiya asked as he walked up to the half dead blond with Kushina and Misao behind him, not that Naruto noticed it.

"No... It was all Anko's and Mai's idea... Who would get into S&M anyway?" the blond asked making Jiraiya chuckle while Kushina and Misao blushed from embarrassment.

"By the way, brat. Your mother and sister is here." Jiraiya said trying to shock the boy, but to no avail.

"What? You're not expecting me to be embarrassed, are you? If I don't get embarrassed from the things Anko-chan might do in public, I'm not embarrassed of talking about my private life in front of my mom and sister..."

"Sounds like you had a really rough night." Jiraya said with a grin.

"Did you know that NinjasR'Us sell Orochimaru voodoo dolls and thick silver chains?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No."

"Well, they do." Naruto said as he sat up. "But I'm worried, Ero-jiji..."

"Worried?" Kushina asked as she and Misao sat down next to him. "About what?"

"I don't know..." Naruto said with a sigh. "I just have a feeling that something big is about to go down..."

* * *

Meanwhile, in Oto

"Orochimaru-sama... Are you okay?" Yakushi Kabuto asked the snake sannin who was sitting in his bed with a big headache.

"Damn it! I thought selling those dolls would just make a good profit! I never expected anyone to actually be able to do a voodoo ritual...!" Orochimaru growled. "Somebody stuck me in the balls as well..."

"But, if someone struck you there, why are you massaging your head?" Kabuto asked.

"Because it seemed that whoever had performed the ritual was pouncing on my head, my entire body, in fact, but most of the force hit my head. It pounced at me over and over again in a steady ryth...em..." Orochimaru said and slowed down when realization dawned upon him. "Kabuto! You don't think...?"

"Think what, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Oh my god! One of my cute and fuzzy little dolls have been violated!" (No, they didn't use it as a sex toy, you perverts! It was laying between Anko and the bed.)

* * *

Back in Konoha

"Did anybody else hear a wail of horror?" Naruto asked as he looked around.

"Yeah, I think I heard something..." Jiraiya said looking up in the sky. "It actually sounded a bit like Orochimaru, but he's never sounded that much like a little girl before..."

"But anyway, Naruto. You need to tell me how your life's been." Kushina said with a smile on her face.

"I can tell you what my life's been like from age five." Naruto said looking a little gloom. "I refuse to tell you anything that happened before that. But now!" he said and took out a deck of cards before looking at Jiraiya. "Care to play?"

"What's the wager?" Jiraiya asked making Naruto grin.

"I'll bet this." the boy said and took a labeled 'Snow's finest sake.'

Jiraiya stared at the scroll for a while before sitting down.

"Alright. And if you win, I'll let you sign the Toad contract."

"Hm? I didn't think you could have two summons..."

"You can. It's rare, but you can. The summons need to be on good foot with each other, and since Bunta told me that he and Bakuchiuchi are old drinking buddies, you can sign it as well. All you need is two summoning tattoos. Now, shuffle up and deal, brat."

"Can I join?" Kushina asked and took out her wallet. "I can't really bet any ninja things, since I left all of those in the Namikaze compound... But I do have money. Is five hundred enough?" she asked as she sat down.

"Yeah, its a little low, but I don't want to rob you of all your money." Naruto said with a grin and turned to his sister. "Misao, you wanna join in?"

"No thanks. I'm not any good at poker."

"Alright then. Get ready to lose." Naruto said as he shuffled the cards.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Naruto was still sitting in front of the sannin and his mother, both who were feeling more and more desperate for every passing second, when 'Cap 'Cap showed up.

"Oh, 'Cap 'Cap!" Naruto said with a grin. "Did you bring it?"

"Yep!" the polar bear said with a grin and tossed Naruto a scroll. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to get all the blood off it... All that was left of that guy was his feet."

"What are you two talking about?" Jiraiya asked as he lost yet another hand to Naruto.

"You'll see after the game." Naruto said calmly as Kushina picked up the cards and shuffled them.

"I'll also take you to the Namikaze compound after the game." Kushina said with a smile. "No matter what you say, you're going to live there. It's more like a small village then a compound."

"What, it's bigger than the Uchiha compound?" Naruto asked making Kushina grin.

"A lot bigger."

* * *

Another twenty minutes later, Naruto stood deep inside the forest on top of the Hokage Monument where the Namikaze compound was located with Misao, who was in awe over the sheer size of the gate, it was around 40 feet tall, Jiraiya, who was sulking because he didn't get any sake, and Kushina, who was sulking because she lost most of her money, though a lot more was in her account, it still stings to lose that much.

Suddenly, Naruto shuddered.

"What's wrong, Nii-san?" Misao asked.

"I just thought of something..." Naruto said and turned to Jiraiya. "What's Anko gonna say when she finds out that I've used my Oni Juuin?" he asked making Jiraiya pale.

"Oh, boy..."

"Shit..." Naruto said with a sigh before suddenly smiling. "Well, let's go in!"

* * *

Kushina was right. It was more like a small village than a compound. It looked like the Uchiha compound, only it had a huge, five story building in the center.

"That's your new house." Kushina said pointing at the huge building.

"What?" Naruto asked, not really believing what he was seeing.

"That house is the house of the clan head. You're the clan head. It's yours."

Naruto did the only thing he could think of. He passed out.

* * *

"A-A mansion?!" Anko shouted when Naruto briefed her on the situation. "We're gonna live in a mansion?!"

"Pretty much, yeah." Naruto said with a nod, casually chewing on a dango stick. "I've already told Mai. She did the same thing as I did when I heard about it."

"What?"

"Passed out."

"Oh." Anko said and grinned. "We must celebrate! I have the Orochimaru doll ready to be beaten!"

"Oh, no..." Naruto groaned.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun. We're not gonna use it in bed again. I actually felt kinda weird having that doll staring at me. So," Anko said and took out the doll. "let's bring on the knives!"

* * *

In Oto

"Oh my god! The pain!" Orochimaru shrieked as he writhed in pain. "Who would actually stick something there?! Not even I'm that evil!"

* * *

Konoha

Anko was having fun jamming her kunai into the dolls ass when a scream was heard.

"Hey! That's the second time today that I've heard that scream..." Naruto said staring at the doll. "Do you think it's working?"

Anko stared at the doll as she removed the kunai from its ass.

"I don't know... Let's see." she said and rammed it into the place where its crotch would have been, if it had one.

The scream was heard again, this time more high pitched than last time. Anko grinned and raised the kunai again.

* * *

Oto

'Shit! My screaming could probably be heard in Konoha... They'll know it's working! Now, now, Orochi... Take it easy... No matter what the pain, don't scream.'

Konoha

Anko rammed the kunai into the doll again, only this time, there was no scream. She pouted.

"Damn... I was sure it was working..."

* * *

Oto

'Thank god... It's stopped...'

* * *

Konoha

"By the way, Anko... When I went to see my mom, Zabuza showed up with his little helpers again..." Naruto said as he got ready for the explosion.

"Oh yeah? Well, did you kill him?"

"Yeah, I did." Naruto said with a nod and gulped. "But after the first helper, I was running low on chakra and I had to... usetheOniJuuin." he finished as fast as possible. He looked over at Anko to see her frozen on the spot.

"You... used the... Oni Juuin?" she asked as she slowly turned to look at him.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I was low on chakra and my mom and sister was gonna die... I had to use it. It's not like anything can happen, anyway. The only thing it does is... well, it makes me slightly more sadistic and more tolerant to pain, but that's all. As you know, Orochimaru's soul is gone!"

Anko was just about to pounce on the blond when she heard what the seal did.

"More tolerant to pain you say?" she asked with a grin that made Naruto pale slightly.

"Oh, no..."

"Oh, yeah."

**Done and done. I hope you find this chapter satisfactory.**

**R&R**


	10. Chapter 10

**I just have a quick question before the chapter starts. By the way, I need more fanart, people!**

**Just so you all know. Constructive criticism will be memorized. Flames will be used to boil ramen. Or grill chicken... I haven't decided.**

**Now, I've held you up long enough, enjoy!**

--LINE--

When Naruto entered his home at night, he found Anko and Mai, busy taking over his life, plotting for things to make him do and other things.

'I really need to take back the reigns in this relationship...' he thought as he watched them sitting in the living room, slurping sake and whispering about Naruto. He had an idea and he went for it. He walked up to them, startling them, grabbed them around the waist and slung them onto his shoulders like two sacks of potatoes.

"O-Oi! Naru-kun! What are you doing?!" Anko shouted from her uncomfortable position as Naruto started walking up the stairs.

"You'll see." Naruto said simply as he entered the closest bedroom that had its door opened, tossed them onto the bed and closed the door.

--LINE--

"Kurenai! You do know that breaking into the Hokage's office is a serious crime, right?" Uzuki Yuugao asked as she watched her raven haired friend pick the lock to Tsunade's office.

"Yes. I do." Kurenai said simply as she heard a click that signaled that the door was unlocked. She opened the door and stepped inside while Yuugao sighed.

"If you know it, why do it?"

"Because I need to know what's so god damn special about Naruto." Kurenai said as she walked up to the Sandaime's old crystal ball, which was now being used by Tsunade to spy on the mens side of the hot springs. (Closet pervert!)

Kurenai sat down in Tsunade's chair with Yuugao standing next to her and placed her hands on the ball, focusing on watching Naruto.

Kurenai: O.O

Yuugao: O.O

--LINE--

Screams of pleasure could be heard all throughout Konoha for the rest of the night.

--LINE--

The next day, Tsunade stepped into her office, tired since she hadn't gotten any sleep. She opened her tired eyes and saw two women behind her desk. Kurenai and Yuugao both had their eyes glued to the crystal ball which now didn't show anything. Both were extremely pale, had big, round, bone white eyes and had a river of blood pouring out of their noses, creating a huge puddle on the floor.

'What the hell?' Tsunade thought as she sweatdropped at the scene. (I would like someone to draw this scene for me. Please PM me if you're interested.)

--LINE--

"Damn..." Naruto said as he walked through Konoha, Zabuza's old zanbatou leaning against his shoulder. "This shit is fucking heavy."

He kept walking until he got to a store called Higarashi's ninja weapons and gear. Walking inside, he spotted Tenten standing behind the counter.

"Yo, Tenten!" he called with a lazy wave. "Is your dad in? I would like to make a trade."

"Yeah, hold on. I'll go get him." Tenten said with a smile and headed to the back of the store. A few seconds later, a tall, muscular man, a typical blacksmith, with short, brown hair and a goatee came out of the back with Tenten.

"Ah, Naruto. How are you?" he asked making Naruto grin.

"I'm doing fine, Dutch." he said. Tenten's father, Higarashi Dustin, huffed at the nickname. Naruto had just started calling him Dutch one day! He had no reason to do it. He just thought it sounded cool.

"What do you want, brat?"

"I want to make a trade." Naruto said and leaned the Kubikiri against the counter. "I want three hundred special made kunais. In return, I'll give you this." he said, gesturing for the Kubikiri.

"Is that..." Dustin asked with wide eyes, getting a nod from Naruto.

"That is the Kubikiri Houcho, formerly wielded by Momochi Zabuza." Naruto said making Tenten go wide eyed as well.

"A sword that used to belong to one of the Seven Swordsmen is worth a pretty penny. Why would you trade it for three hundred kunai?" Dustin asked making Naruto grin.

"I am currently learning my father's techniques and I will need those kunais for later when I learn his Hiraishin no jutsu (Flying Thunder God technique)." he said and held out his hand. "So, do we have a deal?"

"Deal, brat." Dustin said and shook Naruto's hand. "You're in luck. Usually you would need a mold for the kunais you want, but I still have the mold from the kunais I made for your father during the war."

"You knew my father?" Naruto asked, getting a nod from Dustin.

"Of course I did! I was on his team under Jiraiya-sensei."

"Well, I'll be damned. I guess you learn something new every day." Naruto said with a grin as he turned to leave. "Let me know when the kunais are done. I'll leave Kubikiri in your hands, though it's not officially yours until you finish the kunais."

"See you later, Naruto." Tenten said as they waved at each other.

"See ya, Tenten."

--LINE--

Later, Naruto stood in Tsunade's office. Tsunade was rubbing her temples, clearly tired, while Jiraiya stood next to her with tears of joy running down his eyes.

"I hope you had a good night, brat, 'cause we sure as hell didn't." Tsunade said with a glare. "What did you do to make those two scream like that?"

Naruto shrugged.

"I had to make my position as clan head clear. I can't be a strong leader if I can't even control my fiancées." he said and Jiraiya couldn't hold it in any longer.

"MY STUDENT! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!" he shouted as he fell to his knees in front of Naruto. "TEACH ME HOW TO WOO WOMEN LIKE YOU DO!"

"Oi, Ero-Ojiji." Naruto said with a sweatdrop forming in the back of his and Tsunade's heads. "I'm not going to teach you anything, because Baa-chan will probably kill me if I did. I can teach you one thing though. You should start by treating women as humans instead of sex toys. Now get up, you're acting pathetic." he said as he kicked Jiraiya lightly in the ribs.

"You ungrateful brat! Here I go out of my way to teach you, and you won't even teach me one single little thing!"

"Whatever..." Naruto said and turned to Tsunade. "Now, what did you call me here for?"

"I called you here to tell you not to do that again without putting up a sound proof seal in the room." Tsunade said as her glare intensified. "Nobody but the Naras could get any sleep last night!"

Naruto sighed.

"Fine..." was all he said before disappearing in a swirl of cards.

"Something tells me that that brat's going to be the death of me..." Tsunade said, once again rubbing her temples while Jiraiya left to do his research.

--LINE--

"Naruto-nii-chan!" Misao shouted as she attempted to make the leaf on her head float using nothing but chakra. She was standing on Namikaze training ground 3 with Naruto and Kushina sitting on a bench, watching her and giving her tips.

"Close your eyes and try to feel your chakra." Naruto said for what felt like the seven hundred and eighteenth time. "Don't stare at the leaf." he said before turning to Kushina. "I can't believe you didn't teach her how to be a ninja."

Kushina shrugged.

"I didn't think I would ever return here. I wanted to raise her away from violence."

"I didn't say you had to raise her to be a ninja. I said you should have taught her _how_ to be a ninja. That way, she could've defended herself a little better. And I noticed that you've let your skills dull." Naruto said with a glare. "You used to be Konoha's Scarlet Rose, S-rank Konoha shinobi. If that had been sixteen years ago, you would've destroyed Zabuza in a few seconds."

"I know..." Kushina said with a sigh. "But I thought that I'd never be in a situation like that again."

"Nonetheless." Naruto said as he stood up. "We need to hone your skills again."

"Fine by me." Kushina said and got up as well. "Care for a spar?"

"Only Taijutsu?"

"Yep."

Naruto turned to Misao who stood in the middle of the training ground with her eyes closed in concentration.

"Imotou! Come and sit over here. Kaa-san and I are gonna have a spar."

Misao opened her eyes and pouted.

"Nii-san! I almost got it that time!"

"The leaf didn't even wiggle!"

Soon enough, after some complaining on Misao's part, Naruto and Kushina stood some distance away from each other. Then they got into their stances. Kushina took the Goken stance, the style that she'd taught Gai (I like to think that she was as old as the Yondaime and took on a genin team at the same time. As such, Gai was her student). Kushina had only smiled when Gai started spouting about how her flames of youth had not diminished when he met her again. Naruto took a stance where he had his hands on his hips, fists clenched with his knuckles facing Kushina making her eyes widen.

"You've-"

"-learned dad's Hummibird style, yeah." Naruto said with a grin. "Though I'm not really that good at it yet. I still dislocate my shoulder when I go from the left backhand to the gut to the right uppercut to the jaw. I'm not agile enough yet."

"What Gai wouldn't give to learn that style."

"Enough talk." Naruto said and charged in. Once he got to Kushina, he squatted down and twisted around her until his back was facing hers.

Kushina's eyes widened at his speed and barely had time to duck when Naruto's backhand came at her at high speeds. Naruto jumped and flipped back when Kushina tried to sweep him off his feet. He charged again as soon as his feet touched the ground and sent a jab towards her chest.

Kushina blocked the jab, but was caught unprepared for the uppercut that connected with her gut, knocking the air out of her lungs. Stumbling back, she looked at Naruto.

"Alright... We can't spar yet. I'm not in shape. I'll have to train a little first."

"I noticed that." Naruto said as he removed his coat. "I'm gonna train as well. Let me know when or if you want to spar again." he said as he left the training ground.

Misao walked up to Kushina.

"Kaa-san... He owned you." she said, getting a glare from the redhead.

"Back to training!"

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, though she wasn't really scorned until Misao opened her mouth.

--LINE--

Anko and Mai were walking through Konoha, heading for their favorite dango shop when they encountered Kurenai and Yuugao in the streets.

"Yo, Kurenai, Yuugao! What's up?" Anko asked with a big grin on her face. The two kunoichis stared at her for a few seconds as their faces slowly but surely turned beet red. Anko raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Kurenai suddenly turned and walked away as a droplet of blood made its way out of her nose, shortly followed by Yuugao.

"What the hell was that all about?" Anko asked as she turned to Mai who shrugged.

"I don't know, but I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

"Yeah, let's!" Anko exclaimed as they once again started heading for the dango shop before looking at Mai again. "By the way, didn't you just love the way Naruto-kun took charge of the situation last night?"

Kurenai and Yuugao, who were still within earshot, quickly had to pinch their noses, lest they be propelled back by a torrent of blood.

"By the way, you guys!" Anko shouted as the two merely turned their heads a little to look at the snake charmer out of the corners of their eyes. "You gotta see the Namikaze compound! Come by at around 1 pm, okay!"

The two kunoichis just wobbled away, holding up their left hands in a thumbs up while the right were still pinching their noses, earning some confused stares.

--LINE--

At 1 pm, Kurenai and Yuugao stood in awe in front of the huge gate to the small village that was the Namikaze compound. It opened to reveal Anko.

"Good, you're here! Let me give you guys a tour, followed by a girls night out!" she said as she rushed out, grabbed the women and proceeded to drag them inside.

"Woah..." Yuugao said as she looked around. "Anko, this place is huge!"

"I know!" Anko exclaimed with a grin and pointed at the five story in the middle. "And that's Mai's, Naruto-kun's and my house!"

"Lucky bitch..."

--LINE--

At 9 pm, four people wearing identical clothes and Oto headbands stood on a hill outside Konoha, staring at the village.

One of them was a fat guy with red hair, another was an angry looking girl, also with red hair, the third had black hair, tied up to a pinapple shape, and had six arms. The fourth one was the most normal looking one in the group. The only thing weird about him was that he had something on his back that looked like a replica of his head. That and he had green lipstick.

"He's alone." the lipstick guy said with his eyes closed, locking on to Sasuke's chakra signature.

"It'll be easier then." the six armed guy said with a grin on his face.

"So, why did we have to come here and pick up a fucking Uchiha brat?" the girl asked with a twitch of irritation in her eye.

"Tayuya..." the fat guy said in a reprimanding tone. "Girls shouldn't use that kind of-"

"Shut up, you stinkin' fatass!"

"Orochimaru-sama wants him as his next vessel." the lipstick guy said as he looked at Tayuya from the corner of his eye. "Just follow orders and stop complaining, Tayuya. But remember, the Uzumaki kid is no longer any of Orochimaru-sama's interest. If you see him, don't engage him."

--LINE--

'I knew I felt some vile chakra closing in on the village...' Naruto thought from his perch in a tree, not so far away from the four, as he stared at them. 'Well,' he thought as he stood up. 'I better go tell Baa-chan. Too bad these guys were too busy focusing on what was going on inside the village to notice little old me, tee hee.'

He disappeared in a swirl of cards.

--LINE--

"So... Sasuke's defecting?" a sleepy Tsunade asked, getting a nod from Naruto who stood outside her house in the Namikaze compound.

"Either that, or they're planning on kidnapping him."

Tsunade ran a hand across her face and sighed. "Alright... You're a chunnin. You are to pick a team of as many as you'd like and act as the leader. Pick only strong people, make sure that you have a chance of capturing them."

"Alright, Baa-chan." Naruto said with another nod before disappearing in a swirl of cards.

--LINE--

Shikamaru was just about to go to bed when a pounding was heard from the door.

'Who the hell could be coming at this hour?' he thought as he sat on his bed, hearing how his mother started complaining about disturbing the neighbors as she opened the door. This was followed by the sound of a fist meeting something hard, followed by a groan.

Soon enough, his mother came up the stairs and opened Shikamaru's door.

"Shikamaru. Naruto is here to see you." she said with a smile making Shikamaru groan.

"Now I'm definitely not getting any sleep... Tch, mendokuse..."

--LINE--

"Hey, Shikamaru." Naruto said as Shikamaru descended down the stairs. "We have a mission."

"A mission?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow. "What mission could we possibly get at this hour?"

"I'll tell you when the whole team is gathered. I don't want to explain too much. It's way too late for that. Meet me at the gates in twenty minutes sharp."

Shikamaru sighed.

"Hai, hai..."

--LINE--

Naruto, having already visited Neji, Kiba, Chouji, Shino and Tenten, walked into Training ground 9 where Lee was training with Gai.

"I figured this was where you'd be, even at this hour, Lee." Naruto said with a grin that Lee and Gai mimicked.

"Of course, Naruto-kun! It's never too late to train." Lee said, standing in a nice guy pose.

"Nonetheless. We have a mission and we need to be at the gates in about..." Naruto said as closed his eyes in thought. "Three seconds."

"Well, we have no time to lose then. Let's go, Naruto-kun!" Lee shouted as he prepared to take off, only to be stopped by Naruto's hand on his shoulder.

"I have an easier way." Naruto said as they disappeared in a swirl of cards.

--LINE--

Meanwhile, in the Uchiha compound, Sasuke stood in front of the four Oto-nins.

"Go to Orochimaru? Why?" Sasuke asked making the lipstick guy grin.

"For power, of course. That seal of yours gives you incredible power. Orochimaru can give you even more. Enough for you to get revenge."

"No way." Sasuke said with a glare. "If I am to get revenge, I'm going to get it myself, without borrowing someone else's power."

"Well," the six armed guy said as he cracked his knuckles. "I guess we have no choice then."

--LINE--

"Alright, guys." Naruto said as he and his team stood at the gates, having already informed them of what he knew. "Those four are still in the village, but we don't want to damage the place. That's why we'll wait until they leave. Shikamaru and Chouji, you two will take care of the girl. Neji and Tenten, you'll take the six armed freak. Kiba, Akamaru and Shino, you'll take the lipstick and Lee and I'll take care of the fat guy since he's most likely a Taijutsu user. Has everybody understood their orders?"

"We got it." Neji said with a nod.

"Good." Naruto said as they started heading out. "Now, I must warn you. These guys have Oni Juuins. The Oni Juuins gives the user an immense speed, strength, stamina and chakra boost, so don't think that the battle is over until they've used them."

--LINE--

"That brat sure went down easy." Kidomaru said as he flexed his arms.

"Yeah, we didn't even have to go level 2 on his ass." Tayuya said, quickly sending a glare towards Jirobou who was just about to reprimand her for her language.

"I can't believe _this_ is Orochimaru-sama's vessel..." Sakon said, gesturing for the Uchiha who was hanging limply on his shoulder.

They quickly headed out of the village, towards the hill where they stood just an hour earlier. Once they got there, they noticed that they weren't alone. A spiky haired blond guy wearing a white coat and a guy in green spandex with black hair in a bowl cut and über eyebrows stood in front of them, the blond with a fan in his hand.

"Wow. I thought Oto-nins were a little smarter than that." Naruto mused as he stared at the four. "Taking the same path back, not thinking that someone may have been alerted of your presence and alerted the Hokage of your evil little plan. And kidnapping the last Uchiha? That's just wrong. He's a Konoha-nin, you know."

"Truly most unyouthful." Lee said grimly with a nod.

"Hey, shitface!" Tayuya shouted with a glare. "I don't know where you popped up from, but you better leave now before I kick your ass!"

Naruto waved his fan at her with his eyes closed and a big smile on his face. (In true Urahara style!)

"Now, now. Don't be like that." he said and flicked his fan shut. "Tell you what. If you give Sasuke back and turn yourselves in, then maybe, just maybe, we won't kick your asses."

"We? Who? You and that bushy brows freak?" Kidomaru asked with a grin making Naruto frown and Lee's eye twitch.

"Now, now... There's no need for such personal attacks. I don't think Lee takes being insulted like that so lightly, am I right, Lee?"

"You are most definitely right, Naruto-kun!" Lee exclaimed with a nod and a glare directed at Kidomaru. "I'd say that he's not one to talk, having six arms and all. Most unyouthful."

"Yes. Most unyouthful indeed..." Naruto said and buried his face in his hand when he saw the four Oto-nins getting ready to fight. "I guess we're fighting after all... It's way too late for that... But, what can you do?" he asked and nodded to no one in particular.

A cry of "Nikudan Sensha!" was heard and soon, a huge, rolling, green ball came charging at the Oto-nins at breakneck speed. The Oto-nins scattered, jumping in four different directions as the Meatball Tank came rushing towards them.

"Spread out!" Sakon shouted as they ran in different directions. "There are only three of them!"

"Are you so sure about that, Lipstick?" came a voice from in front of him. Looking up, he saw an Inuzuka and an Aburame standing in front of him, the Inuzuka with his arms crossed and a huge dog by his side and the Aburame with his hands in his pockets.

"It would be wise to hand over Sasuke-san." Shino said calmly.

Sakon grinned and was about to toss Sasuke to one of the other four when he noticed that they had been confronted by two ninjas each.

Neji got into a Jyuuken stance while Tenten took out a weapons scroll.

"You will not get past us, Oto trash." he said as he activated his Byakuugan.

Naruto stood in front of Jirobou with a smile on his face as he flipped open his fan again.

"See? Wouldn't it be best to just give up? I have two fiancées at home who are desperately awaiting the arrival of this young stud." he said, puffing out his chest with pride. "And one of them is Mitarashi Anko, co-chief of the Torture and Interrogation department of Konoha. Imagine what she'd do to you if you denied her the pleasure that is I? There's only a small chance of you winning this battle."

"Naruto-kun! That hip attitude of yours really deem you as worthy of being my rival! Yosh!" Lee shouted, pumping his fist into the air while Naruto gave a lazy smile.

"Really? You don't think I overdid it?"

"Not at all, Naruto-kun! That was the perfect amount of hipness! I am proud to now label you as my eternal rival!"

"I'm honored, Lee." Naruto said with that lazy smile on his face, before suddenly turning a cold gaze towards the four Oto-nins. "Well, you're outnumbered and most of your secrets have already been revealed. We are the strongest batch of ninjas ever to come out of Konoha. Hell, Shikamaru and I even made chunnin, even though we only graduated three months ago. You're facing off against the heirs to the major clans of Konoha, a weapons mistress and a hard worker who has mastered the Goken. The odds of you leaving this place are 3056/1. I already calculated it." he said and snapped his fingers. "And I also made sure we had more reinforcements."

Out of the bushes came ten 7 foot tall black bears, all dressed in white gis with white Konoha headbands on their heads. They each wielded different weapons ranging from Bo staffs and katanas to chains and brass knuckles.

"This is one of my favorite summons." Naruto said as his happy expression returned to his face. "This is the Backbreaker gang."

The Oto-nins backed up until they were back to back with each other.

"Shit! This is bad!" Tayuya hissed.

"Tayuya. Girls shouldn't use such-"

"This isn't the time for that, you fat fuck!"

Naruto stared at the four with a calm smile on his face. It was the kind of calm smile that scared even his allies.

"Now... Do you want to do this the easy way, or the hard way? Well, hard for you that is."

The bears closed in while the Oto-nins, despite being taught not to, gulped in fear.

--LINE--

"I'm home." Naruto called as he walked into his five story house.

"You're late." Anko said, tapping her foot impatiently as she leaned against the arch that led into the living room.

"I'm sorry." Naruto said as he gave Anko a quick peck on the cheek. "I was out getting you a present."

"A present?" Anko asked, suddenly giddy, getting a nod from Naruto.

"Four actually. I got you four new people to play with, all of them servants of the snake. I left them at your office." he said and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her bridal style. "Now, I believe I promised you something when I came home."

Anko smirked.

"Indeed you did." she said as Naruto carried her up the stairs.

"How would I look in a sandal hat?" Naruto asked suddenly.

--LINE--

"I must see more!" Kurenai hissed as she once again picked the lock to the Hokage's office and entered with Yuugao hot on her heels.

--LINE--

The next day.

'Again?' Tsunade thought as she entered her office, seeing the two kunoichis in the exact same position as two days earlier.

--LINE--

"You're awake, huh?" Naruto asked as Sasuke woke up in the hospital.

"Where am I?"

"In the hospital." Naruto said as he leaned back in his chair. "Those Oto-nins knocked you out and were about to leave Konoha with you. Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji, Tenten, Lee and I, with a little help from my bears, took them out and brought you back. I was ordered to question you when you woke up."

"So, what do you want to know?" Sasuke asked as he rubbed his sore neck.

"First of all, how would I look in a sandal hat?" Naruto asked as he pointed at his head. "Anko didn't make that quite clear last night."

"What?" Sasuke asked with wide eyes. "I thought you were here to question me about those Oto-nins?"

Naruto flipped open his fan and waved it at Sasuke.

"Now, now, we'll get to that. Don't be so hasty. Now. How would I look in a orange and white sandal hat?"

Sasuke looked Naruto over.

"I think it would fit with the white coat and the orange flames." he answered, reluctantly.

"Good! That's what I was thinking." Naruto exclaimed with a grin. "Now. What did those Oto-nins tell you?"

"They told me that Orochimaru wanted me to join Oto. That he could upgrade the seal for me and give me enough power to get revenge on my brother."

"And you didn't go with them?" Naruto asked with a surprised expression on his face. "I thought you'd jump at the chance of gaining more power."

"I'm gonna tell you what I told them." Sasuke said with a glare. "I want to kill my brother with my own power. Not some borrowed power."

"Good, good." Naruto said and nodded. "I was supposed to ask you something else... What could it have been...?"

"Hey, Naruto." Sasuke said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Hm?"

"You're strong." Sasuke stated. "Can you make me stronger as well?" he asked making Naruto grin widely.

"That was hard for you, wasn't it?"

"You have no idea."

"Alright. I'll train you." Naruto said as he got up. "But you will not learn by using your Sharingan." he said as he pointed at Sasuke's eyes. "I want you to work hard for the jutsus I will teach you. Deal?"

Sasuke smirked.

"Deal."

"Good. Come to the Namikaze compound in... three days, I guess."

"Why in three days?"

"Because I said so." Naruto said with a shrug before disappearing in a swirl of cards.

--LINE--

Later, Naruto was walking towards Ichiraku Ramen, wearing his newly purchased, white sandal hat with orange stripes on it, when he saw Kurenai walking towards him.

"Hey, Kurenai-san." he said making Kurenai freeze up when she spotted him. "Eh, Kurenai-san?"

Meanwhile, a mechanical voice was heard in Kurenai's head.

"_Memory overload! Initiating shutdown procedure in 3... 2... 1... Shutdown initated."_

Kurenai passed out.

"Ah, Kurenai-san!" Naruto exclaimed and rushed over to her.

Naruto placed his hand behind her head and pulled her up before he started to fan her.

"What the hell was that all about?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. "She's been acting strangely around me for days now..."

'Well, I better find her a place to lie down...' he thought as he picked her up bridal style and disappeared in a swirl of cards.

--LINE--

'What the hell?' Kurenai thought as she woke up to find herself lying in a huge, king sized bed. 'Where am I?'

"Ah, you're awake, Kurenai-san." Naruto said as he entered the room, causing Kurenai to blush. "Now, maybe you can answer me some questions."

"Q-Questions? What questions?"

"For example, why have you been acting so strangely around me lately?" Naruto asked making Kurenai's blush intensify.

"W-Well, you see... The thing is... I..." she tried to explain, but sighed as she realized that there was no way out of it. "Yuugao and I spied on you and Anko with Hokage-sama's crystal ball..."

"On me and Anko?"

"In the bed. And once on you, Anko and Mai two days ago."

Naruto looked at her with amusement apparent on his face and a raised eyebrow.

"So... You're a pervert?" he asked making Kurenai's eyes widen.

"W-What?! No! I just-"

"You just spy on people when they're having sex? That sounds like something Ero-Ojiji would do."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Thoroughly." Naruto said with a grin.

"I just wanted to see what was so good about you." Kurenai said with a sigh making Naruto raise an eyebrow. "Anko talks about you all the time, about how kind you are and about how..."

"Good I am in bed?" Naruto asked, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Yeah, I do take a lot of pride in those skills."

"Well, I guess I was just jealous... And then Anko told me about how I could 'join in' if I wanted to because of the Clan Resurrection Law and-"

"That sparked your interest?"

"W-Well, I wouldn't really say that... But, yeah. And then I-"

She couldn't say anything else as a pair of lips were mashed against her own. Quickly coming over her shock, Kurenai melted into the kiss and had to suppress a whimper when Naruto broke it to stare into her eyes.

"I like you, Kurenai, and if you want to, I'd like to give us a try. And I really don't think Anko would mind you."

That was all Kurenai needed to hear for her to quickly jump him, mashing her lips against his own.

This time, it was Kurenai's screams of pleasure that could be heard throughout Konoha and those were soon joined by Anko's and Mai's after Naruto had quickly applied the use of Kage Bunshin.

--LINE--

"Hey, Aniki! What're you gonna teach me today? How to breathe fire? How to walk on air? Huh? What? What?!" Misao asked as she ran up to her brother who was currently sparring with his mother to pass time. Kushina had greatly improved in just a couple of days. His arms still hurt after blocking her Konoha Senpuus...

Naruto sighed

"Misao. I am going to teach you the three academy jutsus first. Then, if, and I mean if, you can manage those, I will teach you something else."

"Mah, mah, Misao..." Kushina said with a pout. "Don't you wanna learn any Taijutsu from me?"

Misao only waved her off.

"Soon, soon. First, Ninjutsu! Let's go!"

"Kids..." Kushina said as she watched Misao pull Naruto away. "Only interested in the flashy stuff..."

"Don't worry, Kaa-san!" Naruto called out to her as he was being dragged away. "I'm just gonna show her how to do it, then you can teach her whenever you want!"

--LINE--

"Naruto." Jiraiya said as he stood in front of Naruto, who had just told Misao the basics of the Bunshin and told her to try it until she got it, with a scroll under his arm. "I'm going to start teach you my combination jutsus that I use together with my toads, but in order for you to learn them, you must first sign the Toad contract." he said and handed over the scroll to Naruto who took it, bit his thumb and signed his name in the slot next to Namikaze Minato.

"I'm heading off to a bigger area so I can summon the toad boss." Naruto said and disappeared in a swirl of cards, only to reappear about a mile away. He bit his thumb, swiped the blood across his palm and performed the necessary handseals.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu: Gama(Summoning technique: Toad)!" he called.

There was a huge explosion of smoke and once it cleared, Naruto saw that he was standing on top of a huge brown toad with red markings across its body and around its eyes. It was wearing a blue jacket, had a tanto strapped to its waist and it had a pipe in its mouth.

**"Who the hell summoned me?! Jiraiya! Come out, you old perverted bastard, so I can squash you!"** the toad bellowed making Naruto sweatdrop. **"Jiraiya!"**

"Ano... Jiraiya didn't summon you. I did." Naruto said as he jumped down onto the toad's nose, waving at the toad with his fan with a smile on his face. "Yo! I am Senju Uzumaki Namikaze Naruto. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

**"You summoned me?"** the toad asked and laughed. **"Hah! Like a little brat like you can summon me, the great Gamabunta-sama! Don't make me laugh brat!"**

"I think I already have." Naruto said with a grin. Gamabunta became quiet as he thought back.

**"Oh yeah, you did... Well, don't make me laugh again!"**

"Did you know that Jiraiya actually was stupid enough to peep on Tsunade again?" Naruto asked making Gamabunta laugh again.

**"Ha ha ha! Doeasn't that pervert ever learn... Hey, wait! I thought I told you not to make me laugh again, brat!"**

"And I've told you my name. It's Naruto, not brat." Naruto said as he closed his fan with a flick of his wrist. "Now, onto the matter at hand. I summoned you."

**"Somehow I doubt that an impudent little brat can summon me."**

"If you don't believe it, you can always ask Bakuchiuchi or BlackJack of the Bear clan. They'll vouch for me."

**"Heh, no matter who recommends a summoner, I never accept one until they've passed my test and shared a drink with me. Don't call us frogs and I don't take anyone as my master, either!"**

"That's okay. All I want is another summoning Aibou (Partner/Companion/Pal/Accomplice, pick one)." Naruto said with a grin while Gamabunta puffed on his pipe.

**"Very well. Let's see how you fair on my test."**

"And your test is?"

**"I am a battle toad. My summoners must be able to hang onto me in battle when I jump around. Therefore, you have to stay on top of my head until sunset. But be warned, I'm going to jump around like I'm on E or something and if you fall off, I'm not going to stop to make sure you're not trampled. Ready?"**

"Ready." Naruto said and channeled chakra to his feet.

--LINE--

Over at the Namikaze compound, Jiraiya, Kushina, Mai, Anko and Misao stared at Gamabunta whose huge form could be seen from anywhere in the village.

Jiraiya chuckled.

"That kid sure is something else."

"He sure is." Kushina said with a nod. "Even Minato-kun took about twenty tries to summon Bunta."

"And not only that, he took less than a day to learn the Rasengan." Jiraiya said making Kushina's eyes widen.

"W-What?! You took three months!"

"I know. He's a real prodigy. I'll be surprised if his bloodline doesn't kick in soon." Jiraiya said with a proud smile on his face as he puffed out his chest. "He he he... Now I've taught one Hokage and one Hokage-to-be. I'm... so proud of myself."

--LINE--

Five hours later, the sun was setting, Gamabunta was panting and Naruto was grinning.

"So, what do you say, Bunta? Did I pass?"

**"Yeah, you passed, Naruto."** Bunta said with a nod. **"It's just too bad that you're not old enough to drink yet."**

"Hey!" Naruto said as he took out a bottle of sake. "If you're old enough to kill, you're old enough to drink! So let's drink!"

**"Heh... I like your attitude, Naruto."** Gamabunta said and took a silver flask out of his jacket, unscrewed the cork and held up the flask. **"Cheers."**

"Cheers." Naruto said and started gulping down his sake. Once both were content, they both let out a happy sigh. "That was good, wasn't it?"

**"Really good."** Bunta said with a nod. **"Alright, Naruto. The kids are probably getting worried and my wife's gonna kill me if I'm too late, so... summon me again some time."**

"Alright. See ya."

**"See ya."** Bunta said with a wave before disappearing in an explosion of smoke.

"Well, this was a productive day." Naruto said, nodding to himself as he landed on the ground. He opened his fan and started walking home. "I guess I should go home... But... I think I'm gonna go visit Tou-san... Yes. That sounds good." he said as he started walking towards the Hokage Monument, whistling a happy tune.

--LINE--

**Done. Sorry it took so long. I'm having some problems. I don't have any ideas for this. Well, I have ideas, but they're no good. They just don't fit into this story. But fear not! Even though it'll take a while for me to update, this fic shall never die! YOSH! THE FLAMES OF WRITING BURN BRIGHTLY IN ME!! Wait... Oh, god! What did I just say?! I think... Yes, I think I'm having a heart attack... No... It's just gas... Well, anyway... Um...**

**R&R!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I got a review saying that it's actually not called a sandal hat... But since I don't know what to really call it, I hope you'll understand what kind of hat I'm talking about. It's Urahara Kisuke's hat, only it's white where it should be green and it's orange where it should be white. I've gotten so many good reviews... Oh, my... I can... I can feel the love! It's... It's inspiring me! I AM INSPIRED! I WILL WRITE FAST FOR YOU ALL, MY LOYAL READERS! I SWEAR TO YOUTH! I WILL FINISH THE CHAPTERS FASTER! YOSH! SENJU UZUMAKI NAMIKAZE 'THE GAMBLER' NARUTO WILL LIVE ON IN TRUE URAHARA KISUKE STYLE! YAAY!! (Applause) COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! (More applause) I LOVE YOU ALL! (Everyone reading runs up and hugs me while chewing on chocolate chip cookies)**

**Seriously though. I need to address this anonymous DD person. You don't have to call it a piece of crap, or shit or whatever the hell you called it (I couldn't see, because that particular evil, evil word was censored). So please, if you don't like the fic, leave and don't leave such useless reviews! I would've appreciated some constructive criticism. And you're a chicken if you don't even leave a way to reply! Chicken! Cluck, cluck! To quote the black bird circling around in the sky in episode 101 "Ahou!"**

**Anyway, I hope I haven't tired you out with my somewhat insane ramblings. Here's chapter 11!**

**Remember to review on your way out, fasten your seat belts, the emergency escape is NONEXISTENT! BWAHAHAHA!!**

**My couch is changing sizes! Tattoo on forehead! Butt acne! Oh, the pain! The pain of it all!**

**I don't know what the hell I'm talking about anymore... Just read the fic. Oh, oh, oh, oh! I want FANART!! FANART!! DRAW NARUTO FOR ME!**

**Sorry for the chap being so short, don't kill me!**

--LINE--

Naruto was skipping through the streets of Konoha, heading towards the Namikaze compound, whistling a happy tune when a voice stopped him.

"Halt!"

Naruto stopped in his tracks and lazily turned his head towards the speaker.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

Rock Lee broke down crying.

"Oh, Naruto-kun! Your hipness has reached new heights!" he shouted as he clenched his fist. "Come Naruto-kun! Let us spar! Let us sweat out youthful sweat together!"

"Sweat... our youthful... sweat... together...?" Naruto asked, frozen on the spot, just like everyone around them. "Lee... That sounded gay... Are you gay, Lee?"

"What?! I most certainly am not! I am powered by youth and as your rival, I challenge you, the hippest of all that is hip, Naruto-kun!"

"Aha..." Naruto said as he flipped open his fan. "So, what's the challenge?"

"I challenge you to a running contest!" Lee shouted with a thumbs up. "We will run around Konoha on our hands! Twenty laps!"

"Aw, man... Couldn't you have said something like... a ramen eating contest? Or maybe a dango eating contest..." Naruto said, thought he mostly said it to himself, pondering if there is such a thing as a dango eating contest. 'If it's real, I should enter... Dango... Mm, the freshness...' he thought with a happy grin and drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.

"Ano... Naruto-kun?" Lee asked with a raised eyebrow. Naruto looked at him with wide eyes.

'How can he lift those things?! They're huge! They probably weigh a ton! Maybe... Maybe it's some sort of alien symbiont...' Naruto thought and his eyes widened. 'Oh, my god! They're trying to take over the world! First Gai-sensei, now Lee! They're reproducing!'

"Naruto-kun!" Lee shouted, now having his face just inches away from Naruto. "Naruto-kun, are you okay?!"

Naruto snapped out of his musings, only to see Lee's face just inches away from his own. He did what any other rational man would do. He smacked him with his fan before taking off.

"No! You will not take over me, symbiotic fiend!" he shouted as he ran towards the Namikaze compound. Lee just sat on the ground, holding his nose.

"What... What the hell just happened?" he asked, all thoughts about youth temporarily forgotten. Then he remembered his challenge. "N-Naruto-kun! Come back! Let's work our bodies to exhaustion together!"

The entire village sweatdropped.

--LINE--

Sasuke was sitting outside the Namikaze gates, waiting patiently for Naruto to come, only he never did. Sasuke was a patient boy, but Naruto was seriously starting to piss him off. Suddenly, the sound of wood meeting the ground was heard as footsteps approached. Out of the bushes emerged Naruto, sweating and panting. He wiped his brow.

"Phew... I thought those thing were gonna lash out at me..." he said to himself and looked up to see Sasuke tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.

"You're late." he said, causing Naruto to smile.

"Ah, sorry, sorry. I was running from two symbiotic mega eyebrows." Naruto said as he walked up to the gate.

"Symbiotic... mega eyebrows?" Sasuke asked while Naruto channeled some chakra into the gate, making it open automatically.

"Lee." was all Naruto needed to say for Sasuke to know what he meant. "Well, anyway... Let's get training!" he said and pumped his fist into the air before lowering it to glare at Sasuke. "And one more thing."

"What?"

"If you so much as look at my sister the wrong way, I'm gonna torture you for three days, then I'm going to torture you for three more days and then I'm going to try to keep you alive long enough to torture you for yet another three days before finally killing you after cutting your nuts off." Naruto said, leaking killer intent.

"R-Roger."

--LINE--

At Namikaze training ground 2, Naruto was sitting on top of a boulder, that had bee placed on Sasuke's back as he did his push ups.

"What's the point of this exercise?"

"This is one of the many exercises Sarutobi-sensei put me through. He says that it makes the student stronger, and it also lets the teacher take extreme pleasure from watching the student suffer. I thought only he could take pleasure from it, but I guess I was wrong. It is fun to watch you struggle."

"Y-You bastard!"

"Less talking, more push ups. You still have thirteen to go." Naruto said calmly as he started fanning himself. "After that, I want you to start practicing your Chidori."

"But I already know Chidori. I should be learning a new jutsu." Sasuke said as he struggled. 'Only... Only six more to go...'

Naruto sighed.

"I can't teach you until you learn one thing, Sasuke." he said making Sasuke look up, and nearly fall and get crushed.

"What's... that...?"

"A shinobi's strength isn't judged by how many jutsus he uses. I mean, if you practice your Chidori to perfection, you could start making it more advanced, more powerful. Itachi knew this, that's why he didn't copy every single jutsu he saw. He copied a jutsu, then he worked on it until he mastered it. That's why he could probably do a Kage Bunshin without using hand seals, just like I can. So, to summarize. If two shinobis meet and use the exact same jutsu, who do you think would win?"

"The one who's more sufficient in it."

"Exactly! The one who's mastered it to the point where he can do it perfectly would make a stronger, let's say fireball, and it would just annihilate the opponent's fireball."

"I... got it..." Sasuke said as he finished his last push up. "There! I'm done."

--LINE--

Meanwhile, in Namikaze training ground 3, Naruto was standing in front of Jiraiya. The Naruto who was currently relishing in torturing Sasuke was merely a Kage Bunshin.

"Alright, Naruto." Jiraiya said with a grin as he performed a couple of handseals. "I'm going to teach you a really cool jutsu."

Naruto grinned.

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"I'm sure you will." Jiraiya said and slammed his hands into the ground. "Kuchiyose: Gamagakure no jutsu (Summoning: Hiding in a Toad technique)!"

In a poof of smoke, Jiraiya disappeared and all that was left was a small, yellow toad on the ground.

"What the hell?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. "That's just a henge, isn't it?"

Suddenly, the toad opened its mouth and a hand came out of it, successfully freaking Naruto out. Following the hand was Jiraiya's head, followed by the rest of his body. Soon enough, Jiraiya was standing in front of him in all his glory.

"Now, was that cool, or was it cool?" Jiraiya asked with a smug grin on his face.

"Did you just... go into... the stomach of a toad?" Naruto asked, a twitch in his eye.

"Well, yeah, but it's not slimy or anything in there." Jiraiya said as the toad poofed away. "This jutsu takes advantage of the toads' space/time transportation ability to 'travel' inside a toad and then emerge at a location. This hidden means of transportation makes it an excellent jutsu for infiltration, as a mere toad can go where a highly renowned ninja, like yours truly, can not."

"You're really full of yourself, aren't you?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, getting a happy nod from Jiraiya.

--LINE--

At Namikaze training ground 1, another shadow clone was teaching Misao the Kawarimi while Kushina watched. The Naruto with Jiraiya was also a Kage Bunshin. (Talk about taking multitasking to a whole new level)

Suddenly, the three Namikazes felt something tingling in the back of their heads.

"Oh, someone's at the gates." Naruto said and seallessly created a Kage Bunshin to go and open the gate. Shortly after, two blurs appeared at the training ground and there, in all their glory, stood Gai and Lee.

"Yosh! Good morning, Kushina-sensei!" Gai shouted with a grin. "How are you on this most youthful morning?!"

"Naruto-kun!" Lee shouted, standing in a nice guy pose. "You, my eternal rival, never accepted my challenge!"

Then, Gai turned to Lee.

"Lee... You have an eternal rival?"

"Yes, Gai-sensei! Naruto-kun here is really hip! That's why I have decided to make him my eternal rival! And our wills will clash in an explosion of youth!"

"L-Lee..."

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SEN-"

None of the green beasts could continue as Gai was beaten into the ground by a bench, courtesy of Kushina, and Lee was beaten into the ground by a fan, courtesy of Naruto.

"Oi, baka!" Naruto shouted at Lee. "You're scaring Misao!" he shouted and pointed at his younger sister, who was just standing there, staring with wide eyes.

Lee looked up and spotted Misao.

"W-What... What a beauty... Misao-san! I am Rock Lee! Will you be my girlfrie-"

He was beaten into the ground again.

"Don't even think about it!" Naruto growled and turned to Misao just stood there. "Imouto, are you okay? The first encounter with these guys tend to be a little scary."

"Those... Those eyebrows... They're... huge... What are they...?"

"I've been wondering that too..." Naruto said and turned to Lee. "Lee! I'll accept my position as your eternal rival, and I'll accept your challenge if, and only if, you don't hit on Misao."

Lee was up on his feet faster that you could say "WTF?!"

"Yosh! Then we will run around the village on our hands! Twenty laps!" he shouted and got on his hands, followed by Naruto. "Are you ready, Naruto-kun?!"

"I'm ready." Naruto said calmly. "Start us off, Kaa-san."

"Hai, hai." Kushina said and walked over to them. "Ready, set... GO!"

They took off in a blur, leaving only a cloud of dust behind.

"T-They're fast..." Misao said as she stared at the spot they were once in.

"That's what physical exercises give you, Misao-chan." Kushina baited. "If you train like I want you to, you'll be just as fast."

"R-Really?!" Misao shouted with an excited grin on her face.

Gai got off the ground and cried manly tears.

"Lee... My student has finally found a rival who's a challenge for him! Yosh! I will run three hundred laps around the village! If I cannot do that, I'll climb the Hokage monument with my teeth, and if I cannot do that, I'll-"

He was beaten by the bench again.

"Shut up!" Kushina shouted while Misao just stood there, frozen in fear.

Then, a small, yellow toad hopped onto the training ground.

"What the...?" Misao asked as she stared at the toad who just stared right back at her.

Then, the toad opened its mouth and out of it came Naruto's hand, followed by the rest of him.

"Yes! I managed to do it!" Naruto shouted as he got off the ground. "And on the first try too! Heh. Ero-Ojiji is gonna be pissed."

"This village..." Kushina said, shaking her head with a smile on her face. "It's still just as strange as it was when I left..."

--LINE--

"Shit..." Naruto said as he and Lee sat in the local dango shop. "I need to train my arms a little more... I don't think I'll be able to hold a pair of chopsticks for a while..." he said and grabbed a dango stick with his shaking and tired arm.

"But you won nonetheless, Naruto-kun. The score is now Naruto-kun: 1, Rock Lee: 0..." Lee said as he took a bite out of his own dango.

"I won, but I think I ruptured a muscle or something in my right arm..." Naruto said with a pout. The women around him felt a sudden urge to run up and hug him for comfort, only to remember that one of his girlfriends was Mitarashi Anko.

"Why... do I... have to... do this?!" came Sasuke's angered voice from outside. They looked outside to see Naruto's Kage Bunshin standing on Sasuke's feet, while Sasuke walked on his hands.

"You need to train your arms. What's the point of learning Taijutsu, if you don't have the strength to back it up?" Naruto's clone asked as he waved to the people around him. "No offense, Sasuke, but you're weak. Well, not weak, but weaker than the rest of the Taijutsu users. Kakashi obviously didn't know what he did when he trained you. Did he only think about filling your head with jutsus?"

"Mostly... He also... worked... on my... speed..." Sasuke said with a groan as his arms started getting tired. "How long... do I... have to... do this?"

"You have to walk to Ichiraku. There, I'll buy you lunch and then I'll tell you what we're going to do next."

"I thought I was going to practice using my Chidori!"

"Well, I had a change of heart."

"You can't do that!"

"I'm doing it right now."

"Y-You bastard!"

"I know. Don't you just love me?"

Their voices drifted off as they passed the dango stand.

"That... That was you, Naruto-kun." Lee said as he pointed at the spot where Sasuke and Naruto once was. "Or was it? Or are you a fake?!"

"No, Lee. That was a Kage Bunshin. That's the beauty of that jutsu. Have your Kage Bunshins train while you eat, sleep or do whatever the hell you want." Naruto said with a grin as he took another bite out of his dango.

--LINE--

'It's settled... I definitely hate this guy...' Sasuke thought as he was forced to do an exercise Naruto so lovingly called 'Kunai-in-ass exercise. He was supposed to channel chakra to his butt cheeks, the fleshy area that you sit on, that didn't have any form of tenketsu at all. Thus, it was extremely hard to channel chakra to that particular area. Not only that, he had to turn the chakra into a shield to protect his ass from sitting on the pointy end of the kunais that were stuck into the ground. Meanwhile, Naruto just laughed with a maniacal grin on his face, though most of it was hidden by his fan.

"Oh, look at the time." Naruto said, staring up into the sky. "Time passes quick when you're having fun, doesn't it?" he asked while Sasuke just grumbled, patting his bleeding ass with a towel. "Training's over for today, I have a mission."

"What? But what am I supposed to do? It's only noon and I'll get bored!"

Naruto put a hand on his chin.

"Well, there are three things I do when I'm bored. One is having sex with my fiancées, which you can't do because then I'd have to kill you in a most horrible, horrible way. The second is to just eat dango and the third..." he said, digging around in his pocket, pulling out the Orochimaru voodoo doll. "is punching the doll. It doesn't really hurt him, I think, but it's actually quite fun to punch him." he tossed the doll to Sasuke. "Have fun."

And with that, he disappeared in a swirl of cards.

Sasuke examined the doll.

"Why are there puncture marks in its ass and groin?" he asked out loud.

--LINE--

Meanwhile, in Oto, Orochimaru shivered.

"What's the matter, Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto asked while Orochimaru stared at him with wide eyes.

"I just had a feeling of sorts... Like a flashback of old pains... Horrible pain..." Orochimaru said as he rubbed his crotch that was still quite sore.

Kabuto freaked out when he saw the snake sannin rub his crotch and quickly left the room.

"Sasuke-kun... You will be mine." Orochimaru said, licking his lips as he continued to rub his crotch, even though the pain had long since receded.

--LINE--

Sasuke shivered.

--LINE--

"You said you had a mission!" Naruto cried, his face twisted into what looked like a mix of anger, shock, sadness and raw hate. "I thought I was just gonna go out and kill someone, not go on a fucking two year training trip!"

"Naruto. Jiraiya wants to train you, giving you his full attention every day. He can't do that here, since he's our information gatherer. That's why he requested that you come with him."

Naruto sighed.

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope."

"Fine..."

"Good! I'll inform Jiraiya. Meet him at the gates in two hours."

"Roger." Naruto said with a nod before using his Karuta Shunshin (Playing Card Body Flicker) to go to the Namikaze compound.

--LINE--

"What?! You're leaving?! But we just started training!" Sasuke shouted while Naruto just groaned.

"Don't be such a bitch." Naruto said as he handed Sasuke a scroll. "There are a few Katon and Raiton jutsus that I want you to practice in there. I'm not a Raiton user and I don't use Katon too often, so they're better off with you. If you need physical training, go to Kakashi-san or Kaa-san. And remember, no touching my sister. That's a rule Kaa-san has as well."

Sasuke pocketed the scroll and sighed.

"Alright, but can I train here? This is the only place I can train without having my fangirls spying on me. Thank you for luring most of them over to you, by the way."

"You're welcome." Naruto said with a nod. "Well, I gotta go say goodbye to my fiancées. I've already said goodbye to my mom and my sister, so that just leaves them."

"See you in two years then."

"Yeah. You better be stronger when I come back." Naruto said with a glare. "If I find out that you've been slacking off, I'm going to work you to exhaustion and then some."

"Got it."

--LINE--

Naruto sat in his huge living room with Kurenai, Anko and Mai in front of him.

"I'm leaving for two years." he said making the three women's eyes widen.

"What?!" Anko asked with a pout. "Why?"

"Because Ero-Ojiji wants to give my training his all, and he can't do that since he's going to be out of the village, thus, I'm going on a two year training trip."

"Aw... We're not going to be able to see you for two years?" Mai asked with an incredibly cute pout making Naruto sigh as he dug around in his pocket.

"Don't worry. I found these at Ninjas 'R Us." he said and handed each of the women a stuffed chibi Naruto doll, all of them grinning, holding their fans in front of their faces.

Three shouts of "KAWAII!" could be heard throughout Konoha.

Misao and Kushina ran into the room, looking around frantically.

"I heard something was cute!" Kushina shouted and spotted the dolls. As did Misao.

"K-Kawaii..."

"Don't worry." Naruto said and dug out two more dolls out of his pocket. "I got two more."

--LINE--

**This is all I'm doing right now. The next chapter will take place when Naruto gets back to reveal his awesome, super cool abilities! Now, remember, I want fanart and reviews with a little love on the side.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, guys! Just a quick little note... I just wanted to let you know that I'm abandoning this fic... NAW! I'm just kidding! I had you worried there for a moment, didn't I?! HAH! No, The Gambler will live on, but I can't rele-le-le-lease the next chaperonicon (Read: chapter) until I can find a real super, awesome, Kyuubilicious person type of human who can write a sweet, sweet fousome between Naruto, Anko, Kurenai and Mai (Lady Luck) for Naruto's return home. Let me know! If you want Naruto to live, start writing!**

**Just a small reminder, for all those flamers out there who're standing on top of a building, cliff or whatever, trying to kill themselves by falling to a rocky, watery, oily, paved or lavaish grave. JUMP! HAH! I STRIKE AGAIN! NINJA DISPERSAL TECHNIQUE!! (Throws a chicken in your face and runs away)**

**YOSH! Since I don't want to be butt raped for just posting an AN, I'll give you a short story!**

--LINE--

Jiraiya and Naruto slowly walked down an empty forest road. Suddenly, Jiraiya's ears twitched.

"Jumping pantyhose, Naruto!! My Pervy Sense is tingling!" he shouted and looked to the east. "Somewhere out there, there's a lonely soul, looking for assistance! We must go, my student!"

Jiraiya suddenly grabbed Naruto's arm and started running, dragging poor Naruto with him. Soon enough, after a long run, they stood inside a quiet little village, standing in front of some kind of club called 'The Blue Oyster.'

"The Blue Oyster?" Jiraiya asked.

'The Blue Oyster?' Naruto thought as he tilted his bucket hat backwards in thought. 'I've heard of this place... Isn't this a gay bar?'

Suddenly, his eyes turned blood red, horns sprouted from his forehead and an evil grin slowly spread on his face.

"Oh, The Blue Oyster! I've heard of this place. It's a world famous strip club. Some of the hottest girls in the world work in there."

Jiraiya's mouth started watering and a blood started gushing out of his nose.

"W-Women..." he said with a grin on his face. "Let's go, Naruto!"

"Sorry, Ero-Ojiji." Naruto said, shaking his head with a sigh. "I wish I could go in there with you," 'NOT!' "but I'm engaged. One way or another, Mai, Anko and Kurenai would somehow find out if I went into a place like this."

"Fine, suit yourself!" Jiraiya exclaimed with a grin and ran inside. Big mistake.

Once he got inside, Jiraiya saw nothing but muscular men with thick mustaches, wearing black leather clothes.

"What the...?"

"Oh, my god!" one of the men, surprisingly a soprano, strange for someone as big as him, squealed as he pointed at Jiraiya. "It's Jiraiya-sama of the sannin!"

All the men squealed and rushed at him, ripping off Jiraiya's clothes as well as their own.

"NO!! NARUTO!! SAVE ME!!"

Meanwhile, Naruto sat in a tree, polishing his horns and relishing in his sensei's and grandfather's pained screams.

"HA! That'll teach you not to peep on me and my fiancées." he said and snorted. "Ero-Ojiji."

--LINE--

**HAH! ZnK, the master of the** **unexpected strikes** **again! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!**

**Please leave a review on your way out. I need a lemon!**


	13. Chapter 13

**It's called a bucket hat. The super awesome hat that Naruto wears is called a bucket hat. Hm... not much to ramble about in this chapter... I pretty much spilled my guts in the last one... Well, on with the show, I guess.**

**Wait... Peanut butter... Can you just put peanuts and butter in a blender to make it? I'll have to try that... I'll let you know how it went in the next chap.**

**This chappie has two lemons in it! Be glad!**

--LINE--

"I can't believe it's been two years..." Naruto, still dressed the exact same way, except he'd invested in a pair of geta (The same clogs as Jiraiya and Urahara has) and wore them instead of his combat boots, said as he and his perverted grandfather walked through the gates after showing their identification to a shocked Izumo and Kotetsu at 10pm.

"Not much has changed." Jiraiya said as he looked up at the Hokage monument. "Except for the fact that they've carved Tsunade-hime's face into the monument."

"Kinda feels like a desecration, doesn't it?" Naruto asked as he too stared at the monument. The two looked at each other for a few moments before bursting out laughing.

"Man, am I glad Tsunade wasn't here to hear that?" Jiraiya said with a grin as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, we better go see her, tell her that we're back."

"You do that." Naruto said as he flicked open his fan. "I have three beautiful ladies to visit, along with my mom, sister and my student."

"So, let me get this straight... You get to go off and do your things whole I have to go report to Tsunade?"

"That's right." Naruto said with a nod.

"And why can't it be the other way around?"

"Because I can beat the living shit out of you." Naruto stated tiredly. "Now, I'm tired and I want to go home and get some rest. Bye!" was all he said before disappearing, leaving Jiraiya to sulk.

--LINE--

Naruto was met with a strange sight as he entered Anko's bedroom. Anko's legs were sprawled out in her bed, her right arm was behind her head, her left arm was on her right breast and she had the chibi Naruto tucked inside her panties. A drop of blood made it's way out of her nose and she had a lustful grin on her face.

'Missed me much?' he thought as he headed off to the next room, Kurenai's room.

Kurenai was at least a little more dignified than Anko. She was just sprawled out on the bed, hugging the chibi Naruto between her breasts.

Mai was sleeping like Anko, only she had the head of the chibi Naruto in her mouth, sucking on it like a pacifier.

Naruto sweatdropped before heading off to bed, deciding to tell everyone about his return in the morning.

--LINE--

In his home, Lee suddenly sat up in his bed.

"Someone very hip just entered this village..."

--LINE--

**Lemony goodness! All immature brats should look away now! This lemon was brought to you by Kyuubi16! R&R**

--LINE

The next day, Anko, Mai and Kurenai sat in the kitchen, Mai trying desperately to patch up the chibi Naruto doll whose head she'd almost bitten off in the middle of the night.

Kurenai: Sigh "It's been two years Naruto-kun left so be do back any day now."

Anko:"I wish he would hurry up."

Mai:"Damnit!" she swore as the head fell to the side again. It was barely

connected by some few threads.

Anko:"You know you could always go buy another one."

Mai:"No...Unless you want to give me yours." she said referring to Anko's Naruto chibi doll.

Anko:"Hell No!"

Mai:"I'm not good at sewing!" she whined with a pout.

"Good morning, my himes." Naruto said with a tired smile as he entered his kitchen after two years.

The three women just stared...

And stared...

And stared some more...

''What not happy to see me?'' he asked and then they pounced on the blond

with synchronized cries of "NARUTO-KUN!"

"I-" he yelled as he was tackled to the ground. "I take it I was missed?"

--Bedroom--

The next thing Naruto knew he was tied to his bed post as his three himes gave his a seductive strip tease. Hand on tit. Hand on Thigh. Hand on breasts. Wherever there was a strap of clothing that needed to be removed another girl would do it. Mai removing of Kurenai's shirt. Kurenai removing of Anko's Skirt. Anko removing of Mai's bra the process continuing until the three women were naked.

Naruto removed his hand restraints and started clapping much to their amazement."What? You don't think I was sitting on my ass for the last two years do you? So whose first?" He asked as Anko stepped forward swaying her hips as she climbed on top of Naruto.

Anko:"By the time I'm done with you, Naruto-kun, your never going to want to leave again." she said huskily as her finger trailed down his body moving all the way down his stomach up to his member moving up and down his shaft causing his member to twitch from her touch.

Naruto groaned as he rested back against the head rest allowing Anko to stroke his member. He peered over her head to see that both Mai and Kurenai were also on the edge of the bed both apparently finding their breasts entertainable as they both massaged and knead their breasts moaning. Naruto threw his head back as Anko's lips covered the head of his cock and her tongue swerved over the head, doing a thorough job of kissing him and stimulating him.

She could taste a faintly salty taste, mixed with something that she couldn't decipher, but it seemed to turn her on more and more, her mouth being able to go at a speed that she didn't think possible. He seemed to agitate her, stirring her up and making her want to taste more and more of him.

Naruto could feel a very good feeling in the region of his genitals, and he realized that there was warmth there, and the pleasant feeling that was engulfing his balls. He gritted his teeth as he felt two more additional tongues swirling around his balls. Every few seconds a lick or kiss from each of his himes grazed his cock. "I'm coming." His teeth chattered. After he had said that, and Anko's placed her lips back on his cock and began sucking rapidly all he shot his load into her mouth. A bit of it seeped onto her lips which she sensually licked off.

"My turn." chimed Mai as she went about going down on him. Mai went about it a little differently using the tip of her tongue licking the sensitive piece of flesh between the tip and his shaft. It didn't take long for him to cum again but instead of gulping it down like Anko did Mai pulled back as the cum erupted from his tip splattering all over her face. He didn't even get to move as Kurenai repeated the actions of the two before her and went to work on Naruto focusing on his tip more then anything.

Now Naruto was always one up for a challenge but if their was one thing he ever thought would be a match for him would be the pint of sexual frustration of three older women. No doubt he had never face such a gamble. The odds in his favor were ten to one but he was never one to give up so easily. The sight of seeing Anko licked off the cum from Mai's face turned him on and the next

thing he knew he came again. It wasn't that much of a surprise really but he was already a bit tired and he was going to be sore all week at this rate.

Naruto found him self pulled in a passionate kiss by Mai while Kurenai continued to stroke him of. Anko got in front of him and spread her legs her current position giving him complete access. ''Come on, stud, show me just what you learned these past two years.'' she cooed.

Anko felt in a daze as Naruto huge rod entered her stretching her out. She let out a cried of pleasure wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him in deeper causing her to throw her head back and caused her to moan. She bucked her hips trying to excite him to the point he would take her like an animal.

The mixture of arousal peaked Naruto's animal instinct as he grabbed her hips and started to thrust into her causing them both to let out animalistic sounds as both of them were put in a daze like state of mind. Naruto felt her pussy suck him in as her walls wrapped around his member fitting around it like a glove.

Anko could only respond to Naruto's thrust as the thickness of his member seemed to drive away the heat in her loins with every thrust.

Both of them let out aloud scream of "I'm cumming" as both of them came. Naruto started panting as he was pulled from Anko's wet and sticky pussy and placed on his back as he was straddled by Kurenai. She steady his member as she descended down upon him letting out a loud moan. She could feel how he was entirely within her. A feeling of being full never seemed to go away within her mind, the cock inside her being so big that she had problems with figuring out how the hell she had managed to get it all inside, but knew that that would be one of the mysteries of Namikaze Naruto that she would have to find out.

Naruto next groan was stifled by a getting-impatient-Mai who pressed her lips against his. She lowered her self onto his mouth as she wrapped her arms around Kurenai and arched her back when she felt Naruto's tongue brushed against her pussy. He ran his legs up and down Mai's thighs and legs while Kurenai bounced on him her walls massaging his member. This went on for over twenty minutes as he felt his balls tightened yet once again with that familiar feeling.

Kurenai could feel how big he was as she forced more and more of him inside of her. She smiled as she could feel an orgasm hitting her as his cock seemed to stimulate her orgasm by just being inside of her. Her body was hot, sweaty and slick, as she ground herself against him, her breasts feeling his skin, making contact with it whilst also making her feel so damn horny that she had to hold herself back from just grabbing Naruto and then making him fuck her every hole, just to get more pleasure from him. She scream in delight as she felt Naruto's seeds coat her walls as she got off much to her dismay but she did agreed to share the blonde meaning that now it was Mai's turn.

"I may be last but I'm sure as hell not least so show me how much of an animal you are, Naruto-kun." she said huskily as she got on all fours giving her ass a shake.

The glistening wet snatch before him was far too much of a temptation so , he strode forward, knelt behind her, almost instinctively using chakra to cushion his knees, and lined himself up with her dripping entrance. Unfortunately, it took a few abortive attempts at trying to guide himself in before Mai reached back, lined him up, and worked the head of his member into her.

They moaned in unison.

The wet smacks of his hips spanking her bare bottom, of the base of his cock impacting the red, swollen lips of her pussy. It was amazing, hypnotic, awe inspiring, and Naruto knew he would never forget a single second of it for as long as he lived.

Mai started to push back, meeting him halfway and grunting with each impact. He was enthralled by the flesh rippling across the tanned expanse of her pussy, mesmerized by the subtle play of the muscles in her back and shoulders.

Mai looked back over her shoulder at him, mouth open, panting for breath. She arched her back involuntarily and let out another moan when he hit that perfect spot deep inside her, the head of his dick stretching her in wonderful ways. And what a it was!

"Tell me I'm" pant "your bitch." she panted out as lust took over.

He continued to look at her bemusedly, even as hips crashed into hers, he didn't even wonder if that was what his hime wanted to be taken like some bitch in heat then who was he to complain.

"You're my bitch, Mai." he said with a particular hard thrust slamming into her with new revered. "You're my bitch to fuck whenever I want." groan "Whether it's in or outside or even in the Hokage's office."

"Oh god, yes that's it."

"You'll have no say so if I want to bend you over the Hokage's desk and fuck because your my bitch." he growled out as she slammed into her with each word.

He gave her ass a delicious squeeze as he rammed inside of her one more time as he came his seed coating her walls like the two women before him. Mai screamed as she came the pleasure too much for her mind caused her to black out. Naruto pulled out as he panted heavily and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, Naruto-kun, you don't think were done yet, do you?" Anko asked as she got that crazed look in her eye.

"Oh yes, I still haven't had enough of that marvelous dick of yours.'' Said Kurenai.

'Kami give me strength.' Naruto thought.

--LINE--

**Lemon over! All immature brats can look again! Thanks once more to Kyuubi16! R&R**

--LINE--

Naruto sighed as he untangled himself from his three fiancées. That was one hell of a welcome home. He put his clothes on again and left to find his family. He found them training at training ground 3.

"Ohayo, minna-san!" Naruto said lazily as he walked onto the training ground, grinning behind his fan at their shocked looks. Suddenly, he was glomptackled by a blond ball of energy.

"NII-SAN!" Misao cried as she tried to break Naruto's neck with her deadly hug.

"I-Imotou! Need... oxygen!"

Misao looked to the side and saw that Naruto's face had turned nice shade of blue. She immediately let go.

"Ah, I'm sorry!"

"Naruto. When did you come back?" Kushina asked as she walked up to them, giving Naruto a much softer hug.

"I came back yesterday." Naruto said with a grin before turning to Misao, looking serious. "Has he made a move on you?"

"Who?" Misao asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Sasuke."

"What?! No! He's dating Ino! I have found a man, though." Misao said making Naruto's eyes widen.

Naruto immediately went into overprotective brother mode, dropping his lazy attitude as he started leaking killer intent.

"You... You what?! Who is it?! Is it Kiba?! I'll kill him!"

"Relax, Nii-san." Misao said with a sigh. "It's not Kiba, and you're not gonna kill him."

"Then... who is it? It's not... Lee, is it?"

"WHAT?! God, no! It's Gaara!"

Naruto froze.

"Gaara... As in, insane killer with a blood fetish, Gaara?"

"That's the one. Though he's not an insane killer with a blood fetish anymore. You changed him." Misao said, causing Naruto to raise an eyebrow. "Well, indirectly, anyway."

_Flashback!_

_Misao stood alone on Namikaze training ground 2. She was currently doing physical exercises, punching and kicking a log, when Gaara slowly walked up to her with his arms crossed._

"_Uzumaki." was all he said, making Misao turn to look at him._

"_Who are you? And how did you get in here?"_

"_Where is he?" Gaara asked, completely ignoring Misao's questions._

"_Who?"_

"_Uzumaki! Where is he?"_

"_Naruto? Why do you want to see him? And who are you?"_

_Suddenly, sand wrapped around Misao's body, tightening around her, causing her to scream out in pain. Gaara walked up to her, glaring menacingly at her._

"_I want to kill him!" he growled. "But first, you're going to tell me, how did he get so strong?"_

"_W-What?" Misao asked, finding it very hard to breath._

"_How did he get so strong?! How did he manage to beat me?!"_

"_W-Well, I don't know! I don't even know who you are! All I know is that Naruto-nii-san is very protective of his friends! That's all I've gotten to know about him!"_

"_There's something special about him! I can feel it!" Gaara shouted as the sand tightened even more. "You know what it is! Tell me!"_

"_W-Well, he's a jinchuuriki!"_

_Gaara froze._

"_J-Jinchuuriki? He's... like me?"_

"_You're a jinchuuriki too?"_

"_I am the holder of the Ichibi no Shukaku." Gaara said as he stared at his hand for a few seconds before looking towards Misao again. "Tell me, how is he not like me?! How is he so... happy?!"_

"_He has friends, family, people who loves him! How can anyone not be happy about that?!" Misao shouted, finding courage she didn't know she had. "He's lived a hard life! But his friends has kept him out of the darkness!"_

"_Friends? What good are friends?"_

_Flashback ends!_

"After that, I started telling him more about you. Then I took him around Konoha and introduced him to your friends. Then, after a while, he started asking me more about myself. We started talking, then we started dating and now, he's my boyfriend. Konoha asked for a shinobi trade. Shikamaru went to Suna and Gaara came here. Shikamaru is currently dating Temari-san, by the way." Misao said with a happy smile on her face. Naruto stared at her for a while before speaking.

"Where is he?"

"What?"

"Gaara. Where is he?"

"Why do you want to know, Naruto?" Kushina asked and sighed. "You're not going to do something stupid, are you?"

"No. I just want to talk to him." Naruto said with a smile and his lazy, or, as Lee would say, hip attitude back. "So, where is he?"

"He's here in the Namikaze compound. He lives over in building 9." Misao said and shook her head when she saw Naruto's glare. "No, we don't live in the same house and no, we haven't had sex yet."

"Good." Naruto said as he turned to leave. "I'm going to go visit him then."

--LINE--

Gaara had just woken up and stretched lazily as he went into his kitchen. Having visited the best seal expert who was currently residing in Konoha, the Sandaime, Gaara had gotten his seal fixed and discovered something. He _loved_ sleeping. He no longer heard the Shukaku's voice in his head, telling him to kill everything, but instead, now that the berserker seal was gone, he talked to Gaara, helped him control the sand, gave him advise. He also told Gaara that he should go for Misao, that she would be good for him. He had friends and a loving girlfriend. What more can a guy ask for? His answer came in the form of a knock on his door.

Gaara happily walked towards the door, hoping for a good morning kiss from Misao. He was mighty surprised when he opened the door and saw another blond. A male blond with a menacingly calm smile on his face.

"Yo."

"Naruto?"

"Can I come in?" Naruto asked politely and Gaara nodded, scared out of his mind. Not much could scare Gaara, but the way Naruto was staring at him, it meant he'd found out about him and Misao.

"Nice decorating." Naruto said as he walked through the small house. All the furniture was a sandy brown, the ceiling was white and the walls were, strangely enough, sky blue.

Naruto just walked around the house, looking around, occasionally opening a cabinet or something, looking around inside. Finally, when he got to the kitchen, he grabbed Gaara's shoulders and pushed him down onto the chair while sitting down in a chair on the opposite side of the table.

"So... You and my sister, huh?" he asked with a smirk. Gaara just nodded. "Did you know that I'm protective of my sister?" Gaara shook his head. "Oh, I am. I'm very protective of her, seeing as she's the only sibling I have. It's the same with my mom. And I hope you understand that I only want what's best for them."

"I understand that, but-"

Naruto held up his hand.

"I know what you might say in a situation like this. 'But I really love her', 'My feelings for her are the real deal', or shit like that. And I don't care about that. I don't care if _you_ love _her_. The point is this: _She_ has feelings for _you_. And you better make sure that she's always, and I mean always, happy. If you fail to do that, if you hurt her in even the smallest way, I will hurt you. I will hurt you so much, you'll be screaming for the merciful embrace of death, but you're not going to get that. No, no, no, no. If you hurt her, I'm going to torture you for a year straight. I'll even heal you and give you a blood transfusion to keep you alive if I must. Are we clear?"

Gaara just nodded.

"Crystal."

"Good!" Naruto said with a grin. "Then I guess I have no choice but to welcome you to the family! Have a nice day."

And with that, he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

'Shukaku...'

"**Y-Yeah?"**

'I... I almost pissed my pants...'

"**Me too..."**

'Big brothers are scary...'

"**I know..."**

'Wait... Do you wear pants?'

"**I meant figuratively."**

'Oh...'

--LINE--

"Katon: Kitsune Endan!" Sasuke shouted as he blew a huge, fox shaped fire blast towards a poor, unsuspecting log, completely incinerating it.

"Oh, you've learned the first Katon jutsu I've ever created, huh?" came a voice from the bushes.

"Who's there?" Sasuke asked, surprised that he hadn't sensed anyone. He spotted a bucket hat rising from the bushes, followed by a grinning, whiskered face covered by a fan.

"Ta-da..." Naruto said lazily.

"N-Naruto?! You're back?"

Naruto raised his hand and waved in Sasuke's direction.

"Yo. Hisashiburi da ne, Sasuke."

"When did you come back?"

"Yesterday, but I couldn't come visit you until now. My fiancées had to give me a warm welcome first." Naruto said, quickly covering his nosebleed with his fan, thinking back on the earlier events. "So, anyway. Have you gotten through the jutsu scroll yet?"

"Yeah. And Kakashi-sensei taught me a few techniques as well. He wanted me to copy them, but I stuck to our deal."

"Good, good." Naruto said with a nod as he flicked the fan shut and put it in his coat pocket. "Then, how about a friendly spar?"

"Sounds good to me." Sasuke said with a smirk as Naruto took his coat and his bucket hat off, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow. "New tattoos?" he asked, gesturing for the toad on Naruto's left arm and the bear on his right.

"Hm? Oh, these? These are summoning tattoos. It's much easier and takes a lot less chakra, otherwise I'd have to use chakra in order to decide what species I wanted to summon."

"So, Ninjutsu?" Sasuke asked, getting a nod from Naruto.

"Ninjutsu."

Sasuke quickly flew through a few handseals before putting his hand to his mouth.

"Katon: Housenka no jutsu!" he called and blew five small fireballs at Naruto who didn't even move. The fireballs connected, resulting in an explosion. Once the smoke was gone, Sasuke noticed that Naruto was no longer there.

"Fuuton:" he heard Naruto's calm voice saying from behind him. Turning around, he saw Naruto standing there, holding his hand out towards Sasuke, a small ball of compressed wind in it. "Kamaitachi no jutsu (Cutting Whirlwind technique)."

A huge gust of wind flew out of his hand, cutting up the ground as it headed for Sasuke, slicing him into pieces, only for him to be replaced with the log he'd torched before.

Sasuke jumped into the air from behind Naruto and went through a couple of handseals.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!" he called out and blew a huge fireball towards Naruto who went through his own seals.

"Ninpou: Gamayudan (Ninja arts: Toad Oil Projectile)!"

Naruto's cheeks puffed out as he leaned his head back before snapping it forward, a huge torrent of oil bursting from his mouth before he jumped away from the fireball.

The oil connected with the fireball, caught on fire and went through it, heading straight towards Sasuke.

'Shit!' Sasuke thought as he used Kawarimi to switch himself with a football sized rock.

Sasuke stood on the ground, watching as the rock disintegrated, and let out a sigh.

"If that'd hit me, I'd be a goner for sure."

"You wanna continue?" Naruto asked, standing behind Sasuke with a smile on his face. Sasuke smirked.

"I already have." he said and quickly turned around with his hand in the serpent seal. "Doton: Doryuudan no jutsu (Earth Element: Earth Dragon Missile technique)!"

The ground shifted and suddenly, a dragon head burst out of it and opened it's mouth. Naruto smirked as he jumped away from the incoming projectiles.

"My first sensei was the one who invented that technique (I know that it isn't true, but in here, it is), use a technique I don't know how to counter or dodge!"

"Fine." Sasuke said with a smirk as he formed some more hand seals before putting his hand to his mouth again. "Katon: Gouryuuka no jutsu (Fire Element: Great Dragon Fire technique)!"

Out of his mouth came a huge flame in the shape of a head that looked like a mix between the Sanbi's head and a dragon's head. Naruto smirked as he sidestepped the flame. What he didn't count on however, was that the dragon turned after it passed him and continued heading for him.

"Nanjato?!" he shouted as he rolled to the side, feeling the heat coming off the dragon as it passed him yet again. "Shit!"

Naruto rolled back, barely avoiding the dragon as it actually scorched his pants. He went through some handseals.

"Ninpou: Ranji Shigumi no Jutsu (Ninja Arts: Wild Lion's Mane technique)!" he called. His hair grew at a rapid speed and shot towards Sasuke, the spikes in his hair turning rock solid.

Naruto saw that the fire dragon didn't stop it's advances and so did Sasuke with Naruto's hair. Both of them closed their eyes, waiting for the incoming pain. It never came. Opening their eyes, Naruto saw that the dragon just floated in front of Naruto for a few seconds before fading away while Sasuke saw that Naruto's hair was just an inch away from his face.

"A draw?" Naruto asked as his hair receded, returning to it's old length and shape, getting a nod from Sasuke.

"I can go with that, though I held back in this fight."

"As did I." Naruto said as he walked over to his coat, picking it up and putting his bucket hat back on his head. "A ninja should always have a few tricks up his sleeves, right."

"Yeah. And you didn't even use your cards here."

"I felt that it was unnecessary. You didn't use your Sharingan."

"It wasn't necessary either." Sasuke said with a smirk while Naruto pulled out his fan and flicked it open.

Suddenly, they could feel the ground trembling. Looking to the east, they saw Lee running towards them, crying manly tears of joy.

"Naruto-kun! You're back! You've grown and your hip attitude has reached new levels! I challenge you, my eternal rival!"

Naruto and Sasuke sweatdropped. Sasuke leaned in to whisper to Naruto.

"This freak is your rival?"

Naruto used his fan to cover his mouth as he whispered to Sasuke.

"He seems strange, but he has a kind soul. It's just a little annoying when he keeps spouting on about youth."

"Naruto-kun! I said that I challenge you, my eternal rival!"

Naruto closed his eyes as he remembered something.

_Flashback!_

_Naruto was walking towards the Namikaze compound, hoping desperately that he wouldn't meet anyone who'd welcome him home at this hour. He sighed when he heard a voice from behind him._

"_Ah, long time no see, Naruto. You look more and more like your father every day." came Kakashi's overly lazy voice. He looked up from his Icha Icha and waved at Naruto. "Yo."_

"_Yo, Kakashi-san. Listen, I'm tired and I want to sleep, so can we talk tomorrow?"_

"_Sure, sure. I was just out, patrolling the village. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Ja Ne, Naruto." Kakashi said and turned to leave when Naruto called out to him._

"_Wait, Kakashi-san! You're Gai-sensei's 'eternal rival', right?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_So, how do you do when you want to piss him off?"_

"_Hm? Oh, I act oblivious."_

_Flashback ends!_

'Act oblivious, huh?' Naruto thought as he turned to look at Lee. "Hm? You say something, Lee?"

Lee burst into tears.

"Oh, Naruto-kun! You are truly worthy of being my rival with that annoyingly hip attitude of yours! I will show you that youth can beat hipness any time! It's your pick of challenge!"

"Oh?" Naruto asked as he put a hand to his chin. 'Okay, an easy one... easy one... Oh, I got it!' he thought as he snapped his fingers. "Alright. Whoever gets laid first wins."

Lee froze.

"What?"

"You heard me. We're going to go out, find a woman, or two, or three, and fuck them until they can't move. Whoever does it first, wins."

"Yosh! It's a strange and very unyouthful challenge, Naruto-kun, but I will do it! And if I lose, I'll do five thousand vertical push ups with my fingers and if I cannot do that, I'll carry a boulder around Konoha! And if I cannot do that, I'll wrestle a bear with my hands tied behind my back!"

"Okay, Lee." Naruto said and put away his fan. "Let's... go!" he said and blurred away, as did Lee.

"That Naruto..." Sasuke said with a chuckle. "He managed to get Lee off his back _and_ he had an excuse for having sex with his girls. I hate to say it, but I admire him."

--LINE--

Naruto got into his house and spotted his fiancées, all sitting in front of the couch, watching TV. He walked inside and picked the three up, Mai on his back and Kurenai and Anko under each arms.

"We go upstairs now." he said simply as he ran annoyingly fast towards the bedroom.

Once they got inside the bedroom, the three women figured out what was going on once Naruto had put them on the floor again. Anko smirked as she pushed Naruto onto the bed, followed by the three women pouncing on him.

--LINE--

**Immature brats who can't stand reading lemons, beware! Lemony goodness, courtesy of Angel.of.Dusk, ahead! Skip down to the next line if you don't like the sweet goodness that is a lemon! R&R**

--LINE--

Slowly, Anko started to massage Naruto's lips with her own, pouncing on him like a cat to the chase. Mai and Kurenai felt that they needed to give Naruto more of their attention and started to nib on his ears, encircling a moan from Naruto's mouth.

"I didn't know you had enough in you to go again, Naru-kun." Anko said as she licked her lips tantalizingly "If I didn't know better, I'd say you missed us."

Slowly, Anko started to leave butterfly trails on his neck towards his chest while Mai started to explore his mouth with her wandering tongue. Kurenai could not stand what these two were doing with the boy and started to follow Anko in making a trail towards his chest.

Naruto was in a state of genuine bliss, there was no way he would ever want this moment to end, and judging from these three elegant wonders, it was just the beginning.

"Ooh. Looks like Naru Kun is getting all aroused from all this action"

Anko said while looking a bit more south towards the hulking tower bulging beneath Naruto's pants.

"I thinks it's time we girls started to show our Naru-kun what he's been missing" with that Anko. Along with Kurenai, lowered themselves to Naruto's waist and started to pull off his pants and boxers to show his manhood stand tall in front of their hungry eyes.

Anko started to slowly start her way from Naruto's pelvis and slowly traveled up his shaft, with Kurenai following close behind on the other side.

Naruto was moaning from the extreme pleasure he was feeling from the two, which Mai quickly silenced him as she continued to play with his tongue. The pleasure was building up for Naruto and Anko and Kurenai saw that he was not going to last much longer, so they started to lick the tip of his manhood as Naruto started to moan louder from the pleasure he was feeling.

"So good... Can't hold out much longer." Naruto said as he felt the pleasure reach his boiling point, Anko felt that he needed that one final push and started to use her hand to stimulate pleasure. Apparently, that was all that she needed to push Naruto to the edge.

"Ohh... fuck!"

Like a waterfall, the white nectar flowed from Naruto's manhood as Anko and Kurenai stared in awe at how much of the sweet stuff was pouring out. Even Mai was amazed as Anko and Kurenai bathed in the stuff, lapsing it up as though it were gold. After a whole twenty minutes of Naruto's member guzzling out it's load, Anko and Kurenai were smiling like a couple of Cheshire cats, ready for more.

"Naruto-kun. I think it's time for round two." Kurenai said that as they both started to strip their clothes with Mai following closely behind. In the end, all three of them were fully naked, showing Naruto their unrefined elegance and grace. They started to pounce on Naruto and started taking off his clothes as Naruto lied down and just followed the rhythm. Now fully nude with his female counterparts, the real fun could begin.

Firstly, Mai leaned in front of Naruto head, her pelvis directly in front of his mouth, with a knowing nod; he started to probe her entrance with his snake of a tongue. Finding all of the areas in which Mai started to shiver, moan, jolt or all of the above at the same time. Anko on the other hand decided to travel the other way and positioned her entrance towards his awaiting soldier, slowly and teasingly, she lowered her hips, making Naruto arch his back from the pure pleasure he was feeling right now as her womanhood slowly consumed his member. Kurenai on the other hand pouted from not having any fun and wanted to get into the action, however Naruto noticed that she felt left out so decided to make it much more interesting.

In a puff of smoke, Kurenai was startled then felt good as a shadow clone was starting to touch her all around her body, making the elegant beauty start to have her own piece of pleasure, while Anko and Mai started to increase their pace on the real Naruto, who couldn't be more happier to comply.

The shadow clone leaned behind Kurenai and started to nimble on her ear.

"You know you want it. So just say the word and I'll deliver"

With a shiver Kurenai nodded as the clone started to pounce at her from behind, as Kurenai started to moan loudly from the waves of ecstasy that were pouring into her system.

"Faster… Go faster, Naruto-kun!" the three of them said as Naruto started to go overtime. Even though he has not gone with sex for a whole two years, he still has the stamina of a god, which he was using to his advantage in spades (A.N lol pun intended).

Eventually, the moans and screams of pleasure increased as Naruto got more into his groove, with a final push from both his shadow clone and himself, Kurenai, Anko and Mai all gasped in a silent scream as they all felt the full extent of their orgasm. Kurenai and Anko's tightness cause both Naruto's to release their loads into both of their waiting orgasm while Mai's one started pouring into Naruto's mouth, who started to suck and lick every last drop of her nectar.

While the three of them were still high from their state of euphoria, Naruto decided that they could use a few more allies to make this a night worthwhile.

Crossing his fingers and muttering "Kage bushin no jutsu", Naruto created five shadow clones, with two on each one of the female beauties. Still recovering from their experiences, the three of them were greatly surprised, as Naruto has suddenly surrounded them.

"You three still up for round three?" all of the Narutos asked as one while Kurenai, Anko and Mai were stunned at the stamina Naruto was packing.

With a nod, the place started to turn into paradise central for the three women as one of each Naruto started of with pumping their member back into their womanhoods, while the other one started to grope and suck on their breast. Leaving the three in a state of wonder and screaming for the night to never end, Naruto decided that they didn't have enough pleasure and decided to create a few more shadow clones, these ones all licking and exploring around their bodies. The three were starting to lose their minds at the amount of pleasure Naruto was producing for them and just couldn't control themselves when they all started to scream and moan from the multiple orgasms that were starting to rack their bodies.

"Ohh god... So good..."

"Ohh... please... don't stop!"

"Ohh... wow..."

The three of them felt their sixth orgasm about to arrive when Naruto decided to go faster and started to use chakra to stimulate sexual pleasure more. This tipped all three of them over the edge.

"Ohh... N-NARUTO!!" they screamed in strange unison as geysers of their juices started to flow out of their womanhoods like waterfalls, giving the Narutos a sight of pure amazement and awe as his shadow clones started to disappear from the overload of pleasure from what was happening.

Naruto himself wasn't faring much longer and came over the three as they all basked in their near primal state Naruto had given them. Noticing that they aren't going to be coming out of it any time soon, Naruto pulled the bed sheets over himself and the beauties and slowly but surely, the three of them slipped into unconsciousness with Naruto in the middle with a smile on his face.

--LINE--

**Lemon is over. Immature brats can look again. Thanks to Angel.of.Dusk. R&R**

--LINE--

The next day, Naruto stood in front of a jail cell, staring at Lee who was sitting inside, devastated.

"Lee... What you did was called sexual harassment." he said while Lee just lowered his head in shame. "I was talking about wooing a woman, not trying to kiss the first woman you saw in the middle of the street. You should be glad you weren't charged with attempted rape."

"I know, Naruto-kun, and I'm sorry. I have failed you as a rival."

"No you haven't, Lee." Naruto said with a grin. "What you did took guts. And the woman... she was a catch. And I had the upper hand. I already had three willing women waiting for me, so I guess that challenge doesn't count."

"LEE!" came the roaring voice of Maito Gai as he ran inside the prison. "MY MOST YOUTHFUL STUDENT! WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU DOING SOMETHING VERY UNYOUTHFUL WITH UNSUSPECTING WOMEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREETS?!"

Naruto covered his ears as Gai ran over to the cell.

"GAI-SENSEI! I'M SORRY! NARUTO-KUN CHALLENGED ME! I MISUNDERSTOOD IT, AND NARUTO-KUN, BEING THE HIP MAN HE IS, HAS DECIDED TO VOID IT! AS A WAY TO SHOW MY REGRETS, WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL CARRY THAT WOMAN'S GROCERIES FOR HER EVERY DAY FOR TWO WEEKS!"

"L-Lee... Omai..."

Lee walked up to the bars with tears in his eyes.

"Gai-sensei..."

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

They enveloped each other in a hug through the bars while Naruto just stared, horrified.

'Now that Lee's older... it's even more disturbing...' he thought as he looked up. "Anyway, Lee. Once you're out of here, I'll probably have a new challenge for you."

"Yosh! I will not fail this one, Naruto-kun!"

--LINE--

In the Hokage's office, Jiraiya was standing in front of Tsunade with his arms crossed and a proud smile on his face.

"So, what skill level do you think he's at?" Tsunade asked, making Jiraiya grin.

"Between Sannin and Kage."

"W-What?! How?!"

"He's a jutsu sponge." Jiraiya said, that shit eating grin still on his face. "I've taught him everything I taught Minato and everything else I know. His speed is nearly unmatched, but with Hiraishin, it is. His strength is greater than Gai's." he said as he rubbed the back of his head. "I would know. Every time I tried to ditch his training for some research, he'd smack me unconscious with a single punch."

"But did you turn him into a pervert?"

"He was already a pervert. Everyone's a pervert. He just knows how to hide it." Jiraiya said and waved. "Well, I'd better get going. There's research to be done. "He said and disappeared in a poof of smoke, just in time to avoid the paperweight that came flying out of Tsunade's hand.

"Well, considering that Naruto has now done 16 S-rank missions and 34 A-rank, I think that's enough for a promotion, don't you, Shizune?" Tsunade asked, looking at her apprentice with a raised eyebrow.

"Normally, I'd say that he's not ready, but with 16 S-rank under his belt, I'm sure he's ready."

--LINE--

"Naruto-kun!" came Lee's voice from behind Naruto as he walked through Konoha, making said blond sigh. "I'm out of jail and I'm ready for your challenge!"

"Hm?" Naruto asked as he looked at Lee with a raised eyebrow. "Did you say something?"

Lee cried manly tears, spouting on about Naruto's hipness. Said blond didn't really pay much attention to him.

Flicking his fan shut, Naruto turned to Lee with a grin on his face.

"We'll have a ramen eating contest."

"Ramen...?"

"Yeah." Naruto said with a nod. "Either that or dango. Take your pick."

"We'll go with ramen. And I promise that I will not lose to you, Naruto-kun! If I do, I'll run to Suna and back on my hands, and if I cannot do that, I'll-"

"Enough, Lee. Let's go eat." Naruto said with a sigh as he started walking towards Ichiraku.

--LINE--

Done! I'd once again like to say a few things to Kyuubi16 and Angel.of.Dusk!

Kyuubi16... You are a great lemon writer. Your stories are some of the best I've ever read. I hope you don't lose your interest in writing fanfictions, because then I'd have to put you on my can-kill-when-bored-list again.

Angel.of.Dusk... I hope you get over your Shikamaru syndrome and start writing fanfictions. You have it in you.

Well, that's all, I guess. Until next time, this is ZnK, signing out!

R&R

R&R

R&R

R&R

R&R

R&R

R&R

R&R


	14. Chapter 14

**Peanut butter experiment: Failed miserably! The blender... It took an hour to get all the mush out of it... My dad got pretty pissed too. Conclusion: Peanuts and butter in a blender makes a strange tasting butter, but the blender will either get thrown out or spend 3 hours getting cleaned! Remember that! My next experiment: Does mixing Mentos and Diet Coke really work? I'll let you know in the next chapter...**

--LINE--

The Ichiraku family was happy. Why were they happy? Because Naruto and Lee had suddenly entered the restaurant and ordered a bowl of ramen each, telling the two to keep them coming. They'd also drawn quite a crowd. They were both on their eighteenth bowl and didn't seem to wanna quit any time soon.

After the twentieth bowl, a huge gathering of people were standing outside the ramen stand, taking bets on who would give up first.

Naruto lost. He could've continued, but right in the middle of his twenty fifth bowl, he'd heard giggling coming from outside. He'd turned around and peered through the crowd to see Misao and Gaara walking past the ramen stand. Gaara had his arm wrapped around Misao's waist. Naruto could live with that. He saw red though, when he saw Gaara lean in and kiss his sister on the cheek. He spit out his ramen, paid for it and unsealed his Bo staff.

"You bastard! Unhand my sister!" he roared as he ran out of the ramen stand, swinging his staff around wildly. Gaara turned and spotted Naruto. A robotic voice sounded in his head.

_'Hand around Threat's sister, Threat swings a metal staff, Threat has slitted red eyes that are burning with rage... Processing new information... Best possible way to diffuse situation: RUN!'_

Gaara quickly let go of Misao and took off like a bat out of hell. Naruto growled as he ran past Misao. Kushina walked up to her, popping out from an alley.

"My father reacted like that when Minato and I were dating." she said and sighed with a smile. "This is so nostalgic. Father chased Minato up our flagpole and then sat down, waiting for five hours for Minato to come down and 'face him like a man.'"

"But why does he act like that?" Misao asked as she saw Naruto bat Kiba into a wall for standing in his way. "You'd think he's jealous or something..." she said before her eyes widened. "You don't think he's... into incest, do you"

Kushina stared at Misao incredulously.

"What?! No! You just don't understand men, Misao. I actually think it would've been better if you'd met Naruto after you lost your virginity..."

"W-What?! Why?"

"Because, right now, Naruto thinks of you as his sweet, innocent little sister." Kushina said with a smile. "It's hard to understand men. Just like it's hard for men to understand women, but I do know that as long as he can, he's going to be your living, breathing chastity belt." she said and grinned when she heard Misao sigh in annoyance. "Come on. Let's go home. Let them run until they're tired."

--Namikaze Compound--

"Come down from there, Gaara! I'm not gonna hurt you!" Naruto shouted, sitting under a flagpole, on top of which, Gaara was located.

'This is quite the predicament I've gotten myself into... I could try to use my sand, but he'd either beat me up, or Misao would... Or both... Shukakku? You got any ideas?'

"Nope..."

'Damn...'

"Aniki! What are you doing?!" Misao shouted as she and Kushina got back, only to see Naruto sharpening a kunai.

"Me? I'm just playing a game of tag with Gaara." Naruto said with a sweet smile on his face.

"Help... me..." Gaara pleaded from his spot on top of the flagpole.

"Now, now, Gaara-kun. You're acting a lot less like a man than I thought you would." Kushina said as she stared up at the redhead.

"Yeah, but you haven't been beaten by his drunken bear before... You try getting knocked out cold by a giant barstool and then not cower like I am..." Gaara said with a groan, his pride severely damaged from his girlfriend seeing him in the position he was in.

"Aniki!" Misao shouted, glaring at Naruto. "You better let him down right now!"

"Or?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Or I'll tell Lee that you want to challenge him." Misao said with a smirk. Naruto ran home quicker than any of them could follow.

--The next day--

Naruto sat on a bench at Namikaze training ground 3, just minding his own business while supervising Misao's training, when Tsunade suddenly sat down next to him.

"Ah, ohayo, Baa-chan!" he exclaimed when he saw the blond Hokage. "I'm surprised you have enough free time to get out of the office."

"When it comes to visiting my family, I do. Now, Naruto. I have a proposition for you." Tsunade said, making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Proposition?"

"Yes. Jiraiya has been thinking about retiring and focus all of his time on writing, and we need someone to take up his spy network. If you do that, you'll be able to take over his position as the Toad sannin." Tsunade said, causing Naruto's eyes to widen.

"W-What?!"

Tsunade nodded.

"Yes. We need a new generation of sannins. Those sannins will be you, Shizune and Anko, seeing as they are currently the holders of the contracts. If you do take up the mantle of sannin, you will immediately be promoted to jounin and, on the battlefield, you'll be the commander, outranked only by me."

"That's a big responsibility." Naruto said with a hand on his chin. "I'll do it."

"Great, then I'll just-" Tsunade started, only to be interrupted by Naruto, who held up his hand.

"But not yet."

"What?"

"I want to go to Mt. Myouboku and train with the toads first." Naruto said as he got up. "That's is something I have to do. I won't take on the title of sannin until I have proudly earned my sennin headband."

By sennin headband, he was referring to the Oil headband Jiraiya had received when he finished his studies in Mt. Myouboku.

"Ero-Ojiji said that I'll have to find it myself if I want training in the Senpou (Hermit arts). So, with your permission, I wish to head out as soon as possible."

Tsunade got up with a smile.

"Leave when you're ready, Naruto, but hurry up. I feel like something bad is going to happen soon."

"So do I." Naruto said as he gave Tsunade a hug before walking over to Misao. "Imotou."

Misao stopped meditating and looked up at her brother.

"What the matter, Aniki?"

"I have to leave again." Naruto said, making Misao's eyes widen.

"What?! But you just got back!"

"I know, but I have more training to do. If you want more training, ask Ero-Ojiji to supervise it." Naruto said and walked off.

He walked through the compound until he got to his house.

"Ladies!" he shouted. Seeing that no one was home, he just wrote a quick note before heading off.

--3 weeks later--

'This is useless...' Naruto thought as walked through the forest on the outskirts of Kami knows where. Naruto had been wandering around for 3 weeks and he was completely lost, he had run out of supplies and he was exhausted. 'I... I can't take anymore...' he thought as he collapsed, his vision fading.

--12 hours later--

Naruto woke up to the sound of a cricket chirping. He opened his eyes to find that he was laying in the exact same spot as before, only it was night time now. Suddenly, a splat sound was heard, followed by the immediate seize of cricket chirping.

'I guess there's a hungry toad somewhere around here...' he thought and was about to close his eyes, before they widened. 'T-Toad!' he shouted in his mind and started crawling in the direction of the sound. He looked over a bush to see a plain toad croaking at him. The strange thing was that the toad was black and slightly larger than your average toad.

"A-Are you from Mt. Myouboku?" Naruto asked with hope in his voice. The toad just croaked, making Naruto sigh. "Of course not..."

The toad jumped up to Naruto and turned his head to the right, before hopping in that direction. Naruto, having nothing better to do, followed it.

--15 minutes later--

"Are you just pulling my leg or something?" Naruto asked as he crawled through a thick bush. Suddenly, he noticed that it was day time. "What the hell?" he asked out loud and looked up to see a huge mountain. "Mt. Myouboku..."

He noticed something that made him sigh. The way up was a long road that spiraled up the mountain.

'Crap...'

--After a long and gruesome walk--

Naruto finally got to the top of the mountain, only to collapse from exhaustion. An old, cloak wearing toad with bushy, gray eyebrows and a beard hopped up to him.

"Oh? A youngster, huh? Let me see here..." he said and held up Naruto's head so he could get a good look at his face. "So, this is Jiraiya-chan's grandson, huh? Ma!"

Another old, cloak wearing toad, this one a female, wearing some kind of black hat, jumped up to him.

"What's the matter, Pa? Oh, a youngster! How nice!" she exclaimed as she looked Naruto over. "He's cute too."

"It's Jiraiya-chan's grandson, Ma." Pa said with a smile, making Ma's eyes widen.

"Oh, a Senju comes to us, huh? Well, I guess we should take him home and let him rest. Gamakichi!" she shouted.

"What?!" came a voice from behind the bushes.

"One of your friends is here to see you, but he's exhausted and we need to take him home!"

Gamakichi, a lot bigger than two years ago, hopped into view to see the blond.

"Oh, Naruto?! He's come here for training?! Wait until Dad hears about this!" he exclaimed and picked up Naruto, before putting the blond on his head.

--The next day--

Naruto woke up, surprised to find himself in a bed.

"Good morning, Naruto-chan." said an elderly voice. Naruto turned to see an old toad with big, gray eyebrows, a beard and a small patch of hair on his head smiling at him. The toad turned to the doorway. "Ma! He's awake!"

"Coming!" come an elderly female's voice.

"How do you know my name?" Naruto asked as he sat up. The toad smiled.

"Jiraiya-chan, Gamakichi and Gamabunta has told us everything about you, Naruto-chan. I am Fukasaku."

"And I'm Shima." a female toad said as she entered the room with a steaming bowl of soup in her hands. "Eat up. You must be hungry."

Naruto grabbed the bowl and noticed that the food consisted of insects. Shrugging, he started eating. He was really hungry. Once he'd gotten over the fact that he was eating insects, he noticed that it was actually really good. He finished to soup and placed the bowl on the nightstand next to the bed.

"Ah, that was really good. Thank you, Shima-sama." he said with a bow, making the old toad laugh.

"Now, now, Naruto-chan. There's no need to bow to us." she said, getting a nod from Naruto.

"You are the toad elders, right?" he asked, and at their nods, he continued. "Well, I came here for training in the Hermit arts, and I'd be really grateful if you took me as your student."

Fukasaku chuckled.

"Well, you did eat Ma's food, even though it wasn't really human food, and we already knew you'd come here sooner or later. Do you think you're ready for our training? It'll be hard."

"I'm ready." Naruto said with a nod.

"Good." Fukasaku said with a nod. "Then we'll take you to the Elder toad. He's the one who has to approve of you."

Naruto nodded and got up, hitting his head in the low ceiling.

"Yeah, sorry. I kinda forgot to tell you that..." Fukasaku said with a sweatdrop forming on his head when he saw Naruto writhing on the ground.

(Is it me, or does hitting your head like that hurt more that getting punched in the face?)

--At the toad temple--

Naruto was on his knees in front of a huge toad that looked just about to fall over and die. He was wrinkly and wore a pearl necklace with the kanji for Oil on it.

"Oh, so this is young Naruto, huh?" he asked with a smile. "I've heard so much about him. Gamakichi-chan speaks so highly of him. When is he coming to meet us?"

"Naruto-chan is here right now, Elder toad." Fukasaku said tiredly, sitting on the Elder toad's right side.

"Oh, that was quick." the Elder toad said, making Fukasaku, Shima and Naruto sweatdrop. "So, this is the one you want to train?"

"Yes, it is, Elder." Shima said with a nod. "Do we have your permission?"

"Of course, of course. It's not any of my business who you want to train." the Edler said, making Shima sigh.

"Yes, it is, Elder."

"Oh, right!" the Elder said, nodding to himself. "Well, you have my permission anyway. Now, when is the young Naruto coming here?"

"He's right here, Elder! You've already given us permission to teach him!" Fukasaku growled with a vein pumping in his forehead.

"Oh, right, right... Well, dismissed. I must await young Naruto."

Naruto was just about to open his mouth, when Fukasaku jumped down next to him.

"Don't even bother, Naruto-chan. When he's like this, he'll never stop."

Naruto just nodded as he followed Fukasaku outside.

Soon enough, they were sitting in front of a waterfall that consisted of oil. Naruto had decided not to wear his coat for now.

"Now, Naruto... We searched your belongings when you were asleep, and judging by the sake, the playing cards and the panties we found sealed inside your scrolls, you practically worship the three taboos of a ninja..."

Naruto had the decency to blush.

"But you're not allowed to do any of the three while training under me, understood?"

"Of course." Naruto said with a nod.

"Good. Now, what do you know about nature chakra?" Fukasaku asked, raising one of his mega eyebrows. Naruto put a hand on his chin.

"Well.. Ero-Ojiji told me that, in order to use Senjutsus, you need to be able to harness it. He wouldn't tell me how to do it, since that's your job. Basically, it's the exact opposite of regular chakra, right?"

"Correct." Fukasaku said with a nod. "Nature chakra is just that. Nature's chakra. Now, being of the Senju clan, I think you might have an easier time harnessing it. How good is your chakra control, Naruto?"

"Excellent." Naruto said, making Fukasaku smile.

"Good. Then I don't think you have to use the same training method Jiraiya-chan had to use when he first started." Fukasaku said and gestured for the waterfall. "This is toad oil. It's a natural... let's call it magnet to Nature chakra. It's a good way to start training, but if you have excellent chakra control, you should be able to gather it on your own."

"But how do you gather it?"

"You have to be perfectly in tune with nature and be completely still. In order to make sure of that, we will train over there." Fukasaku said and pointed at a pair of tall stalagmites about a hundred yards away. "Follow me."

--15 minutes later--

"This is a lot harder than I thought..." Naruto muttered as he sat on a flat stone that was balancing on one of the stalagmites. Next to him, Fukasaku was sitting on the same kind of stone on his own stalagmite.

"Calm down, Naruto-chan. Just close your eyes and relax."

Naruto did as he was told and soon enough, without that much concentration, he managed to balance on the stalagmite.

"Now you're ready to collect the Nature chakra." Fukasaku said with a proud smile. It had taken Jiraiya a lot longer to even balance on the stalagmite. "Just feel it around you. You can, can't you?"

"I think so." Naruto said as he concentrated, feeling some kind of energy moving in the air, though he couldn't really recognize it as chakra.

"Good. Gather the energy in your hands and contain it."

Naruto nodded and did what he was told. The chakra was hard to contain, though. When Naruto opened his eyes, he found that his hands had transformed into toad hands.

"Ah! What the hell?!" he shouted, only to get smacked in the back of the head, courtesy of Fukasaku's stick. 'I wondered why he brought that thing up here.'

He suddenly found that he lost balance and fell off the stalagmite, hitting the ground with a crunching sound. Fukasaku winced as he heard the sound and looked down.

"Um... Naruto-chan! I don't think your arm is supposed to bend that way..."

"You think?!"

--The next evening--

Naruto sat in Fukasaku's house, eating Shima's food with great enthusiasm.

"It's so nice to have someone eat my food like that." Shima said with a smile. "Just let me know if you want seconds."

Naruto, unable to speak because he was busy stuffing his mouth with food, just waved his hand, gesturing for more.

"Coming right up!"

"Naruto-chan." Fukasaku said as he looked at Naruto while sipping his tea. "Now that you have the control that you do, you should be able to enter Sennin Moodo (Hermit Mode). We will get to that tomorrow. Entering Sennin Moodo will enhance your strength, speed and agility, as well as greatly boosting the strength in your legs. Once you enter Sennin Moodo, I will teach you Gama-fu and Senjutsus. Eat up and Rest. I need you to be at your best tomorrow."

--In Konoha--

Anko, Kurenai, Mai, Gaara, Misao and Kushina were sitting at the dinner table in Naruto's house.

"I miss Naruto-kun..." Anko complained with a pout. "It's so boring around here without him... Why did Jiraiya-sama have to retire from his sannin duties?"

"Because he's getting old and wants to write that perverted crap he calls literature." Kushina said, making Naruto's wives blush.

"Now, now..." Anko said with a slight grin. "We have actually learned a lot from those books."

"What could you possibly have lear-" Kushina started, but stopped when she saw the blushes on the three's faces. "Oh..."

"By the way, Misao." Anko said as she turned to the girl. "You should go ahead and lose your virginity now when Naruto-kun is gone." she said, making Misao blush furiously.

"A-Anko-san!"

Gaara just sat there, listening to Shukaku's ranting.

"**Come on, brat! This is the perfect chance to score! The goal is wide open!"**

'This is not a game, and Misao is certainly not a goal!' Gaara shouted in his mind while Kushina put a hand on his chin.

"Actually, this would be a good opportunity for you two."

"_Mom_!"

--The next day, Mt. Myouboku--

"Are you ready for this, Naruto-chan?" Fukasaku asked, getting a nod from Naruto, who stood in front of him, his eyes turned into the same kind of eyes the toads had. 'He's reached further than anyone ever has in the Hermit arts.'

"I'm ready, Fukasaku-sensei."

"Good. We'll start with some jumping to get used to the ability boosts." Fukasaku said and jumped high up into the air, landing on top of one of the many toad statues in the clearing. Naruto braced himself before hopping after the toad, but used way too much force in it, resulting in him flying over the statue and landing on th other side.

"Try again!" Fukasaku ordered. Naruto nodded and jumped again, only this time, he didn't jump high enough. "Again!"

The day progressed like that. Naruto got better and better at Toad hopping.

"This is good, Naruto-chan!" Fukasaku shouted as he bounced off another statue with Naruto following. "You're making incredible progress!"

"Thanks, Fukasaku-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed as he flipped in the air to make sure his landing was perfect. "I can feel myself making progress."

"Now, let's start training Gama-fu!"

"Yes, sensei!"

--Done--

**It's a short chapter, I know, but I wanted to cut here. In the next chapter, I'll be covering Naruto's training in the Hermit arts and his return home.**

**Until next time, this is ZnK, signing out!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Mentos and Diet Coke experiment: Success! I needed a 'lab.' My brother, my innocent brother, decided to volunteer. His room got sticky and icky! XD Now that's my kind of thing!**

**I need to come up with another experiment. And don't forget to read my latest fic Chronicles of Zeno and Razgriz: WotZF!**

**First, I need to tell you about the Peins. I will be referring to**

**Spiky haired Pein as: Tendou Pein (Deva Realm Pein)**

**Deidara looking Pein as: Chikushoudou Pein (Animal Realm Pein)**

**Long haired, snobby looking Pein as: Ningendou Pein (Human Realm Pein)**

**Big, spiky haired, evil looking Pein as: Jigokudou Pein (Hell Realm Pein)**

**Big, spiked piercings Pein as: Shuradou Pein (Asura Realm)**

**Fat Pein as: Gakidou Pein (Hungry Ghost Realm Pein)**

--Enjoy--

Naruto took a sip from his tea with a sigh while rubbing his shoulder. His hair had been bleached and his skin had been deeply tanned from prolonged exposure to the sun. It was always daytime there and hot as hell!

"Really, Fukasaku-sensei... Even though your small, getting kicked by you still feels like slamming into a brick wall..."

Fukasaku chuckled.

"You flatter me, Naruto-chan." he said and held up a finger. "Still, Nature chakra has been mastered better than any other human ever. Gama-fu and Sennin Moodo have been mastered to a certain point. Now, there's one last thing to say."

"I'm listening."

"It's about the risks and dangers of Sennin Moodo." Fukasaku said, getting a raised eyebrow from Naruto.

"Risks?"

"It's like this, only when you can handle well the risks and dangers of Sennin Moodo will you be able to maximize how you use Sennin Moodo."

"And the risk is?"

"The first thing is something I think even little Naruto-chan can understand." Fukasaku said, making Naruto's eye twitch.

"Are you calling me slow?"

"Kinda." Fukasaku said with a shrug. "Sennin Moodo cannot be maintained for long periods of time. Probably can be held for 5 minutes. And then, in order to activate Sennin Moodo, one has to collect Nature Chakra by 'being still.' "This is fundamental. Which means that you can't use it the moment combat begins. If you can't move, you'll become the enemy's target. To enter Sennin Moodo requires having lots of companions at your side to give you free time. No matter what, you can't enter Sennin Moodo while you're alone. The only thing to do then is leave combat for now and collect Nature chakra."

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't that mean that it's not usable? What the point of a combat mode if you can't use it?"

"Don't be so discouraged. Am I not here to deal with the risk?" Fukasaku asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"If I merge my body with Naruto-chan's, it'll be okay."

"Merge?" Naruto asked as an image appeared in his mind. And image of him crouched down, sporting a long tongue, Fukasaku's eyes and eyebrows, along with toad hands. He leaned away from Fukasaku. "No thanks."

Fukasaku chuckled again.

"Even though it's called merging, in reality, it's just pressing together shoulder and spinal cord."

"So..." Naruto said as he looked at his shoulder. "I will look the same as in Sennin Moodo, only I will have you on my shoulder like a parrot?"

"Correct."

"But why is it okay after you merge?"

"To put it simply, it's to handle the tasks of 'still' and 'action' separately." Fukasaku explained as he held up one hand at 'still' and another at 'action' holding them a good distance away from each other. "When one side is moving, the other side stops drawing Naruto chakra. Jiraiya-chan also requires us couple to merge with him in order to appear in the final Sennin Moodo."

"I see." Naruto said as he put a hand on his chin. "But wouldn't that mean that Ero-ojiji and I can't enter it at the same time?"

"That's why, if you both need it, only you will enter it."

"How come?"

"Because you have reached further than Jiraiya-chan in this training. You will be able to perform jutsus better as well. Just because Jiraiya-chan has more experience, doesn't mean that he's better at it." Fukasaku said and held up his hand in a high five fashion. "Now, let's train, Naruto-chan."

Naruto grinned and high fived Fukasaku.

"Let's."

--3 days later, Konoha--

An explosion rocked Konoha to the core. In the middle of it stood a man with spiky, orange hair, lots of piercings and eyes with several rings around them. He wore a black cloak with red clouds on them.

"It's Akatsuki!" a jounin shouted as he ran off to warn Tsunade.

Kushina and Misao were in the market district when the panic started.

"What's going on?" Kushina asked as she stopped a chunnin who was heading towards the explosion.

"It's Akatsuki! They're attacking!" the chunnin shouted as he ran off. "Go find shelter!"

"Akatsuki?" Misao asked and looked at her mom. "Who're they?"

Kushina was wide eyed.

"They're after Naruto..." she said and turned to her daughter. "Misao, go home! Warn the others!"

"But where are you going?"

"I'm gonna see if I can help." Kushina said and ran off.

--With Jiraiya--

Jiriaya summoned a small, black toad. It looked at him with a grin.

"Yo, Jiraiya! What's up."

"I need you to go back and tell Naruto to get here ASAP." Jiraiya said and pointed into the distance where Pein was killing any ninja that was getting in his way.

"Got it!" the toad said before disappeared with a poof. Jiraiya sighed as he stood up and jumped off towards Pein.

--With Pein--

Pein lifted a semi-unconscious jounin and held him up to his face.

"Where is the Kyuubi jinchuuriki?"

The jounin, who was one of the people who saw Naruto for who he was, grinned.

"He's gone to visit your mom. He said she might be feeling a little lonely."

Pein was not amused. He held up his arm, and a black spike protruded from his sleeve.

"That was a poor joke to make on your deathbed." he said and was about to stab the jounin, when his spike was grabbed by a gloved hand.

"My, my..." Kakashi said, his Sharingan visible. "It seems we have an intruder, wouldn't you say so, Sasuke?"

"Hn..." came Sasuke's voice from behind Pein. Sasuke was currently holding his newly completed Chidori Eisou (Thousand Birds Sharp Spear) at Pein's neck.

"You would do best to leave now." Gaara said as he appeared next to Pein, his sand ready to encase him. Pein just looked at Gaara, not a single emotion apparent on his face.

"The Ichibi jinchuuriki... So this is where you were hiding. You will come with me as well."

"I don't think so." Gaara said simply and was just about to use his Sabaku Kyuu (Desert Coffin), when Pein's eyes widened a fraction, sending out a huge shockwave that sent, Gaara, the sand, Sasuke, Kakashi and the jounin flying.

'What the hell?!' Sasuke shouted in his mind. 'I couldn't even see what he did with my Sharingan!' he thought as he landed. "Could it have something to do with those eyes of his?'

Judging by the looks of it, Kakashi and Gaara had come to the same conclusion.

"Chitaki-san." Kakashi said as he looked at the wounded jounin who just got up. "You're wounded. You should evacuate and get healed up."

"Are you sure you can handle this guy, Kakashi-san?" Chitaki asked, getting a nod from Kakashi.

"Yeah, and even if we can't reinforcements are coming."

Just as he said that, Jiraiya arrived at the scene.

"Those eyes..." he said as he stared at Pein's eyes. "Could it be... Nagato, but you look like Yahiko..."

"It's been a while, Jiraiya-sensei." Pein said calmly. "And Yahiko is long since dead."

'As if fighting Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi and Sabaku no Gaara isn't enough...'

--Mt. Myouboku--

"Oh, Naruto-chan..." Shima said with a devastated expression on her face as she handed over Naruto's coat. It was ripped and tattered. "I'm sorry, but when I went down to the river to clean it, a fish attacked and missed me..."

"My coat..." Naruto said with an equally devastated look on his own face. "What now...?"

"Your pants aren't in such good condition either..." Fukasaku said simply as he tugged on Naruto's pants.

"What now...?"

"This is good!" Fukasaku exclaimed with a grin as he hopped off. "I actually wanted a reason for you to change your clothes! The toads have made some new clothes for you!"

Shortly after, Fukasaku came out of the back room with a package in his hands.

"Here you go, Naruto-chan!"

Naruto opened up the package, and his eyes widened. (I can't give a good description of Naruto's clothes, so just click the link on my profile.)

Attached to the right sleeve of the coat was a horned plate with the kanji for Oil on it.

"You have gotten further in your training than any human ever has, Naruto-chan." Fukasaku said with a smile. "You deserve that."

"Congratulations, Naruto-chan!" Shima exclaimed with a huge smile on her wrinkled face.

"You guys..." Naruto said as he felt the smooth material of the coat.

"Naruto!" came a loud voice as a black toad hopped into the hut.

"Oh, Kurogama-chan?" Shima asked curiously. "What are you doing here? Come to freeload again?"

"No, no, no!" Kurogama said, shaking his head before turning to Naruto. "Big trouble, Boss! Big trouble!"

"What's the matter?" Naruto asked as he put on his new pants, tying it with the orange sash. After that, he attached a pouch to his right hip and hung a sake bottle from his left hip.

"Akatsuki!" Kurogama exclaimed, making the three's eyes widen. "Akatsuki is attacking Konoha! Jiraiya tells you to get your ass over there as fast as you can!"

"Naruto!" Fukasaku said, turning to the blond who had just put on his new coat in a hurry. "Let's fuse! That way, we'll get to Konoha as fast as humanly possible!"

"Alright!" Naruto exclaimed and bit his thumbs before swiping some blood under his eyes and putting his hands in a tiger seal.

"I'm going too!" Shima said, getting a nod from Fukasaku.

Naruto's eyes changed to look like Gamabunta's, and Fukasaku and Shima disappeared with a poof, only to reappear on Naruto's shoulders.

"Well, what do you know..." Shima said as she looked down. "Our cloaks change to fit the color of our summoner's clothes..."

"Interesting..." Fukasaku said with a nod.

"Well, let's go!" Naruto exclaimed as he ran out of the hut. "Fukasaku-sensei, do you know the way to Konoha from here?"

"Of course, you run, I'll handle the directions." Fukasaku said with a nod, before laughing. "Kinda like 'still' and 'action.'"

--Konoha--

"You can't be Yahiko." Jiraiya said calmly. "Those eyes belong to Nagato."

"Correct, sensei."

"Then, if you're alive, that would mean that Konan must still be alive, right?"

Just as he said that, there was a swirl behind him, and a blue haired woman with a paper flower in her hair materialized behind Jiraiya in a swirl of paper.

"Hello, sensei."

"You should just come willingly." Jiraiya said with a smirk. "You're outnumbered."

"Are we?" Pein asked as he pressed his hand against the ground. In a poof of smoke, five others appeared. All of them wore an Akatsuki cloak and had piercings and Rin'negan eyes.

"What the hell?!" Jiraiya asked with wide eyes.

"No matter what you people try, you're still just normal people, sensei." Pein said calmly. "But, I living in the center of an infinite universe of pain, have grown into something more..."

"What?"

"That's right... I've grown from a normal person... into a God." Pein said, making Jiraiya raise an eyebrow. "As a God, what I say and what I think becomes the law of a God. Sensei, you're still just a person. I don't expect you to understand what I'm telling you."

'Keep him talking. Just long enough for Naruto to arrive.' Jiraiya thought. "I can't believe you're the same child I met..."

"Things I couldn't comprehend as a human are crystal clear now that I'm a God. And by the same token, I've noticed there are things I can do as a God that I could never dream of doing as a human." Pein said and gestured for the other Peins. "I have simply evolved."

"What are you trying to accomplish?" Jiraiya asked, narrowing his eyes.

Pein closed his eyes in a contemplating manner, as if he was not sure if he needed to tell Jiraiya this. Then he opened them again.

"I'm going to put an end to this pathetic world and it's endless wars." he said, making everyone's eyes widen. "It will be an act of God."

"Then to what end are you chasing the Tailed Beasts?"

"I suppose since you're going to die, I can tell you my plans." Pein said. "Using the Tailed Beasts, I will create a new Kinjutsu. A technique that will eradicate an entire country in less than a second. It will be the ultimate technique... A weapon of unprecedented power and scale."

Jiraiya snapped.

"How could you even think something like that will stop wars?! You'll only make them bigger!"

"When countries quarrel with one another, what is the quickest way to end the dispute, sensei?"

"Stop avoiding the question! Answer me, dammit!"

"I will give my ultimate weapon to the warring nations." Pein said, still as calm as ever. "People who have a weapon will inevitably use it."

"What are you getting at?" Jiraiya asked, narrowing his eyes to thin slits.

"Hundreds of millions of people would be killed instantly. And the survivors would be completely terrified!" Pein exclaimed, a hint of excitement in his voice. "All people... All the world... will learn what true pain really is! My technique will breed fear and serve as a deterrent, and the wars will quickly cease. One could say this world of ours is still growing, slowly becoming more balanced. Pain will quicken the world's growth, as it did mine. Our world is still in it's infancy. But the hand of God has come to guide it down the path to maturity."

"You want to teach the world what pain is, to help it grow up faster... and you think that's your responsibility?!" Sasuke roared, quickly becoming more and more angered by this guy's God complex.

"I do. I am a God of Peace, after all."

"You've turned into quite the comedian, Nagato..." Jiraiya said with a smirk.

"Enough talk." Pein said as he took a step forward. "Konan, stay out of this."

"Hai." Konan said and broke down into small pieces of paper.

"What's the situation, Jiraiya?"

The Sandaime, dressed in his battle suit, landed next to Jiraiya, Enma already summoned.

"It's Nagato, sensei." Jiriaya said. "The Rin'negan child from Ame."

"The Rin'negan..." Sarutobi murmured as he stared into Pein's eyes. "We need to keep him busy until Naruto arrives."

"That was my plan."

"I'm here to help." Kushina said as she too landed next to them.

"Kushina?! What are you doing here?" Sarutobi asked with wide eyes. "Shouldn't you be with Misao?"

"She's gone home." Kushina said calmly.

Pein looked them over.

"Uchiha Sasuke, Sabaku no Gaara, Hatake Kakashi, Jiraiya-sensei, Konoha's Scarlet Rose and the God of Shinobi..." he murmured as he took another step forward. "This will truly be an epic battle."

--With Naruto--

"This is strange..." Fukasaku said as he looked over the village of Ame.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.

"This rain... It's chakra based... But no mere shinobi can create a rain of this size..."

"But that's not the problem at hand, now is it?"

"Think about it, Naruto-chan." Shima said as she patted Naruto's head. "There's hundreds of skilled ninjas in Konoha. I think they can hold their grounds against Akatsuki."

"You may be right, Shima-Oba-san." Naruto said with a smile and looked at Fukasaku. "So... We'll investigate?"

"Yup."

"Fine with me." Naruto said and took off towards the village.

--Konoha--

Pein was just about to charge, when every single one of his bodies perked up.

"Konan."

"Hai?" Konan asked as she materialized behind him.

"Someone has disturbed my rain in Ame. Find the intruder."

"Right away." Konan said and disappeared.

--Ame--

Naruto was crouching on top of a building, gazing over the city. He'd searched everywhere for the source of the rain, except for in the Amekage tower.

"The tower would be a good place to look." Fukasaku murmured.

"Yeah, but if we're caught, we'll be in deep shit and Ame could take it as an act of war."

"But you're soon the new Toad sannin, Naruto-chan." Shima said with a smile as she slapped Naruto on the back of his head. "It's your job to find out what's going on in the other villages, being in charge of the spy network and all."

"True, but I don't think we could do anything too risky..." Naruto said, before snapping his fingers with a grin. "I got it!" he exclaimed and jumped off.

--Konoha--

Shuradou Pein, strangely enough, launched it like a rocket towards the ninjas while the other Peins took off.

"He's coming!" Sarutobi exclaimed and raised Enma to block the fist. The force of it knocked him back a few steps. He may be the God of Shinobi, but he's still 74 years old (He was 69 when Naruto was 12, so don't start telling me how old he is).

Sasuke reacted quickly, igniting his Chidori Eisou in both hands, he sent one of them to cut the hand in half while twisting around to slice at the incoming Ningendou Pein. Ningendou Pein ducked under the swipe and tried to uppercut Sasuke, who back flipped away while deactivating the Eisous.

--With Kushina--

"Suiton: Suishuoha no jutsu (Water Element: Great Water Wave technique)!" Kushina called out after forming a chain of handseals. Water materialized out of nowhere and formed a huge huge wave that descended upon Tendou Pein, who just stared at the wave, before sending out another shockwave, knocking the water away. He came at Kushina with a back spin kick. Kushina blocked it and grabbed his leg.

"The ability to create water out of the moisture in the air... And ability that has not been seen since the Nidaime Hokage... You sure live up to your position as a former Uzu shinobi." Pein said, getting a smile from Kushina.

"Thank you!" she said and tried to punch Pein in the face, only to get knocked away by another shockwave.

"Sadly, it will not be enough." Pein said as he started walking towards Kushina. "So, you are the mother of the Kyuubi jinchuuriki?"

"I am." Kushina said with a smirk and tossed a kunai towards Pein. "Ninpou: Kunai Kage Bunshin (Need I translate?)!"

The kunai became hundreds of kunai as they flew towards Pein, who just sent out another shockwave, deflecting them all. He didn't count on Kushina suddenly appearing behind him.

"Konoha Senpu!" she shouted and kicked Pein in the temple, sending him flying into a building.

'So, I was right.' she thought as she landed. 'He can't use the shockwave at a rapid rate... There should rather be two people fighting this guy...'

--With Gaara--

Gaara was struggling. He was not really that quick, but his automatic defense took care of any blows he couldn't keep up with. The problem was getting his hands on the Chikushoudou Pein who was just dancing around him, dodging every single one of his attacks.

"It's too bad that I can't use my powers here." Pein said as he dodged out of the way from another tendril of sand. "If I do, I will most likely crush my other bodies."

"Too bad for you." Gaara said calmly as his sand formed a dome around him. "Good for me."

"You make sure I can't see what you're doing." Pein murmured as he stared at the dome. "But you can't see what I'm doing either."

Suddenly, the ground cracked, and Gaara, his gourd gone, flew out of it, landing and uppercut on Pein's jaw, sending him flying back.

"I can't?" he asked with a smirk as the sand dome collapsed and brought the gourd back to him. "There's more to me than just sand."

"I can see that. But no matter, you are still just a mortal." Pein said as he got up. "I underestimated you. It will not happen again."

"We'll see."

--With Sasuke--

"What the hell?!" he roared as Ningendou Pein ducked under his spin kick. "Why can't you just let me hit you?!"

"That would remove the meaning of the word fight, wouldn't it?" Pein asked calmly as he reached out, grabbing Sasuke's head. He pulled him forward and kneed him in the stomach, before elbowing him in the neck, sending Sasuke slamming into the ground.

"D-Dammit..." Sasuke muttered as he reached for his sword that was laying on the ground in front of him. Just as he was about to grab it, a black spike pierced his hand.

"Now, now... We can't have you using that. You might cut my clothes apart with it." Pein said calmly as another spike protruded from his sleeve. He raised it and looked at Sasuke with bored eyes. "Die." he said, making Sasuke's eyes widen. Before he managed to stab Sasuke however, the Gakidou Pein slammed into him, sending them both flying into a building, turning it to rubble.

Jiraiya walked up to Sasuke and looked down at him while pulling out the spike.

"Stay sharp, kid. We can't have you dying." he said as he pulled Sasuke to his feet.

"This guy's not human." Sasuke said as he ripped a piece of his shirt off, wrapping it around the wound on his hand. "How are the others doing?"

"I don't know. We split up. It'd most likely be dangerous to fight all six of them at once." Jiraiya said as he got into a stance. "Get ready."

The two Peins stepped out of the rubble. Ningendou Pein nodded to Jiraiya.

"Very good."

--With Kakashi--

Kakashi was staring at the Pein in front of him.

'This guy is strong...' he concluded and reached into his pouch. 'Time to try to settle this peacefully.'

He smiled and pulled out his Icha Icha Tactics.

"Yo! We don't really need to fight. How about we just sit down in peace and read a little Icha-"

A kunai was flung at the book with such force that is was ripped in half.

"Maybe not..." Kakashi said and threw the book away. 'I'm gonna have to ask Jiraiya for a new one later. All I have to do is stall him long enough for Naruto to arrive.' he thought and activated his Raikiri.

--Ame--

The two Pein supporters Ryuusui and Yuudachi entered a bar that had 'Free drinks for Pein supporters night.' Behind the counter was an elderly man with long, blond, spiky hair and a thick beard.

"Welcome!" he said with a smile. "Judging by those headbands, you're supporters of Pein-sama."

"That's right." Ryuusei said with a nod, making the man's smile widen.

"Good."

Outside, if anyone would've looked, the bar transformed into a small toad.

--Inside--

"Now..." Naruto, back in his old form, with Fukasaku and Shima on his shoulders, though he wasn't in his Sennin Moodo, said as he stared at the two ninjas, who were currently stuck to the walls. "What can you tell me about this weather?"

"What?" Ryuusui asked with a raised eyebrow. "It's raining."

"I know that." Naruto said with a nod. "But who keeps it up?"

"Where the hell are we?!" Yuudachi asked as he looked around.

"Inside the belly of my toad." Naruto said, making Ryuusui's eyes widen.

"Toad... Are you... that sannin?"

Naruto chuckled.

"Well, I haven't taken up the title from mt grandfather yet, but I'll do it as soon as I get back to Konoha. I just decided to make a quick stop here first. Now, who keeps this rain up?"

"Why should we tell you?" Ryuusui asked smugly, making Naruto grin.

"Because if you don't, I'll turn you into a frog." he said simply.

"It doesn't matter what you do! We're shinobi! We'll never betray our comrades!" Ryuusui shouted, getting a sigh from Naruto.

"Well, I guess I have no choice then..." he said and formed a handseal, before putting his hand against Yuudachi's forehead, pumping Nature chakra into his body. "Ninpou: Kaeru Kaeru no jutsu (Ninja arts: Frog Conversion technique)."

There was an explosion of smoke, and when it cleared, Ryuusui could see a frog in Yuudachi's place. Naruto turned to Ryuusui with the grin still on his face.

"Now, you wanna talk?"

"Pein-sama! Pein-sama is the one who creates the rain!" Ryuusui said quickly, making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Pein... I've heard that name before..."

"Jiraiya told me something about a guy named Pein, too..." Fukasaku said with a nod. "I think he's the... Yes! He's the leader of Akatsuki!"

"Is that so?" Naruto asked and turned to Ryuusui again. "Where can I find Pein?"

"Like I'd tell you! Pein-sama is a God! There's no way you can beat him! He even killed Hanzou!"

"Hanzou the Salamander, huh?" Naruto asked, grinning widely. "Then I'd really like to meet him. Where can I find him? Talk or I'll turn you into a frog!"

Ryuusui sighed.

"He's in the tallest of the west towers, or so they say..."

"You betrayed your comrades pretty quick there, sonny!" Shima exclaimed with a grin, making Ryuusui blush.

"I guess I don't really need you anymore." Naruto said as he formed the same handseal. "I hope you'll live happily on Mt. Myouboku." he said and turned Ryuusui into a frog as well.

--Outside--

The toad came out of a puddle in the west area of Ame and opened it's mouth. Naruto came out, together with Fukasaku and Shima. He turned to the toad.

"Go back to Mt. Myouboku. Let the two out there."

The toad nodded before poofing away. Naruto stared up at the tower in front of him.

"So... This is where you're hiding?" he asked out loud, before walking inside. Suddenly, Fukasaku and Shima felt a tug in the back of their heads.

"Naruto-chan, we'll be leaving you for a while." Fukasaku said, patting Naruto on the head. "Jiraiya is entering Sennin Moodo."

"Alright. Make sure the old pervert doesn't die."

"Sure thing." Shima said with a grin, before poofing away.

--Konoha--

Everyone were panting, except for Jiraiya, who'd just entered Sennin Moodo, and the six Peins.

"Yo, Jiraiya-chan!" Fukasaku exclaimed with a grin as he appeared on Jiraiya's shoulder together with Shima.

"It's been a while, Ma, Pa." Jiraiya said with a smile. "How's Naruto doing?"

"He's just about ready to come here." Fukasaku said as he patted Jiraiya on the head, just like he did to Naruto. "He's progressed further than you ever could, Jiraiya-chan. He only needs one of us to enter Sennin Moodo. He'll be here shortly. He's in Ame right now to investigate on some guy named Pein."

The six Peins' faces showed immense surprise.

"These guys are Pein, Pa." Jiraiya said and gestured for the Akatsuki members.

"If these guys are the ones called Pein, then who is it that's keeping up the rain in Ame?" Fukasaku said as he studied the faces of his opponents. They all looked like they were afraid to reveal something.

Tendou Pein turned to the others.

"We're heading back right now."

"Jiraiya-chan! Don't let them get away! Naruto-chan seems to be on to something." Shima shouted, and Jiraiya nodded, before jumping in front of the Peins that had just turned around.

"Come on, guys, let's buy Naruto some time!" Jiraiya shouted, and the others nodded before once again, with renewed vigor, jumping in front of the Peins.

"But you need to watch out, Jiraiya-chan." Fukasaku said. "We just found out that this guy managed to kill Hanzou." he said, making Jiraiya's eyes widen.

"Hanzou?! Salamander Hanzou?!"

"The very same."

"I already knew he was dangerous, but I never knew he was that dangerous." Jiraiya said as he crouched down. "And now that you're here, maybe we can find out the secret behind Pein's eyes." he said.

"Do you people honestly believe that you'll be able to get out of this alive?" Tendou Pein asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, we don't." Sarutobi said as he charged. "We already know that this is a battle that will lead to our deaths!"

And so, they clashed again.

--Ame--

'Man... it's actually getting pretty lonely now that Ma and Pa are gone...' Naruto thought as he walked through the empty corridors of the tower. 'I don't think I wanna let them go the next time I-'

His eyes widened, and he jumped back just in time for the ground to be pierced by hundreds of...

"Paper shurikens?"

"I cannot allow you to go further." a woman said as she materialized in front of Naruto. She had blue hair and a white origami flower in her hair.

"I see... Akatsuki, huh? Are you Pein?"

"No. I'm Konan." the woman said calmly, getting a nod from Naruto.

"I see. Well, I don't really have any beef with you, so if you'd just let me go see Pein, I'd be really grateful."

"I can't let you do that." Konan said, making Naruto sigh as he took his first sip of sake since he got to Mt. Myouboku.

"Well, that sucks..."

"That plate." Konan said and gestured for the horned plate on Naruto's sleeve. "That's the same plate Jiraiya wears on his headband."

"Oh, you know Ero-ojiji?" Naruto asked with a grin. "And he's your sensei, too? Wait, Konan... Oh, you're one of those orphans he trained during the war, aren't you?"

"He told you about that?"

"He's told me all about his life. I'm aspiring to be like him, after all." Naruto said as he took another sip of his sake. "You want a drink before we get started?"

"No, thank you."

"At least you're a little more polite than others." Naruto said as he attached the sake bottle to his hip again. "Let's do this then."

Konan said nothing. Her feet just broke down into small pieces of paper that flew up and formed wings attached to her shoulder blades. Naruto started laughing.

"I knew you were an angel. I knew no mere human could be that beautiful!"

Konan was taken aback by this statement, giving Naruto an opening. He formed some lightning fast seals before putting his hand to his mouth.

"Katon: Karyuu Endan (Fire Element: Fire Dragon Flame Projectile)!" he called and blew a jet of fire at Konan, whose eyes widened as the flames enveloped her.

'It couldn't have been that easy.' Naruto thought, only to nod to himself and flip back as thousands of paper blades came flying at him from the ceiling. 'They're getting closer!' he thought as he started hopping backwards, until his back hit a wall. 'Crap...'

The last paper blades came flying at him, and he closed his eyes, awaiting death. It never came. When he opened his eyes, he saw that there was one paper blade on each side of his neck, one under each armpit and one right below his dangly bits. He sighed when he saw that it hadn't hit.

'Thank you, Lady Luck.' he thought as he moved away from the wall.

'I missed?' Konan thought to herself, staring at Naruto from her spot 16 yards away from him.

--In heaven--

"You did that." Fate said as she turned to Mai, who smiled.

"I can't help him down there, but I can help him from up here."

"Go, my boy!" Minato shouted as he sat next to Mai. "Show that bitch who's boss!"

"I got 5,000 ryou on the blond." Shinigami said as he placed the money on the table on which the Viewing Pool was located.

"I'll take that bet." Fate said and placed 5,000 ryou on the table. "I'm betting on Origami-chan."

"Nee-chan?!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm betting on her."

"No God powers." Shinigami said, freezing Fate.

"Damn... Can I take the bet back?"

"Nope."

--On Earth--

"Do you honestly think you can beat Pein?" Konan asked as she walked towards Naruto. "He is a God."

"Men who claims to be Gods usually dies." Naruto said with a shrug. "I'm just thinking that I should hurry up the process."

Suddenly, another Naruto appeared behind Konan and kicked her in the temple, only for her head to break down into small pieces of paper.

"You can't even beat me." she said as her head materialized again.

"That paper is starting to get annoying..." Naruto said, dispelling the clone behind Konan.

"You don't even have a plan of attack." Konan said, getting a shrug from Naruto.

"I'm not a planner. I just... do things and hope for the best." he said and formed a few handseals. "Ninpou: Toutouyu Kyuuryuu (Flowing Oil Current, I think)!"

His cheeks puffed out and he leaned his head back, before snapping it forward, releasing a powerful torrent of oil that blasted Konan down the corridor.

"I don't think that your paper can separate when it's covered in sticky oil." Naruto said as he walked up to Konan, who was laying on the floor. He reached into his coat to take out a match, lighting it by scratching it on the growing stubble under his chin. "And you wanna know something interesting about paper, Origami-tenshi?" he asked with a grin. He held out the match, so it was over Konan's prone form on the floor, making her eyes widen. "It burns."

With that, he dropped the match. Konan was immediately engulfed by flames. Her screams followed Naruto down the hall.

'Wow... That was brutal...'

--In heaven--

"Did he just... light that woman on fire?" Mai asked with wide eyes.

"He didn't really have a choice, did he?" Minato asked with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, she was made of paper and just assimilated every time he tried to hit her. But that was still pretty brutal..."

"I like that boy." Shinigami said with a grin as he stared at the smoking ash that used to be Konan.

--Back on Earth--

Naruto walked down the corridor until it split.

"Two ways..." he murmured and reached into his coat, taking out a coin. "Heads, I go right, tails, I go left."

He flicked the coin into the air and watched as he spun, before catching it and placing it on the back of his hand. When he lifted his hand, he saw the face of one of the previous Fire Daimyos.

"Right it is."

--10 minutes later--

Naruto walked into a dark room. It was damp and only had one thing in it, a stone casket. He shrugged as he walked up to it, pushing the lid off.

Laying in the casket was a man wearing an Akatsuki cloak. He had black hair that hung down so it covered his right eye, and his open eyes had several rings around them.

"I already knew you'd come." he said calmly as he sat up.

"Pein, I presume?" Naruto asked, getting a nod from the man, who smiled.

"And you are Uzumaki Naruto, jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi no Youko. My bodies in Konoha were informed of your presence here in Ame when Jiraiya-sensei summoned those toads. Are you sure you wish to fight me?"

"I'm positive." Naruto said with a nod as he backed up. Nagato nodded as he got out of the casket.

"Very well... I'll show you the power of a God."

"Amuse me, God." Naruto said. "Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"

Ten clones formed around Nagato, all of them staring at him with a bored look.

"You shouldn't be so calm around me." Nagato said and disappeared, appearing behind one of the Narutos, slamming him into the ground, making him disappear in a poof of smoke. He disappeared again and appeared behind another Naruto, kicking him in the back, causing him to poof away. It continued like that, until only one Naruto was left.

"You're the real one." he said and took a step forwards, suddenly, he heard the croaking of a toad and looked down to see a black toad standing in front of him. Expecting something from the toad, he never thought that Naruto would appear in the air in front of him and punt him in the face, sending him flying backwards, crashing into the casket, causing it to shatter.

"You're good." Nagato said as he got up. The toad was a distraction, wasn't it?" he asked and gestured for the toad that was once again below him.

Naruto didn't answer, instead, the toad opened it's mouth and out came another Naruto, catching Nagato off guard with an uppercut that sent him backflipping into the air, before slamming down on the ground.

"No, it wasn't." Naruto said with a grin as the Naruto that had punted Nagato disappeared. "Thanks." he told the toad, who nodded before poofing away.

"Time to get serious." Nagato said as he got up again and went through a string of handseals. "Suiton: Mizurappa no jutsu (Water Element: Violent Water Wave technique)!" he called and blew a powerful jet of water out of his mouth, that hit Naruto in the chest so hard, that it passed through him.

Naruto suddenly appeared behind Nagato, attempting to deliver an axe kick to his head, but he dodged.

Nagato turned to Naruto's previous position to see a piece of the casket with a hole through it.

"Kawarimi, huh?"

"You're annoying." Naruto said as he got out of his crouch.

"Funny, I could say the same thing about you."

'Shit...' Naruto thought as he tried to come up with a plan. 'This would've been a lot easier if I just had my cards... I guess I'll have to wing it-'

Suddenly, Nagato appeared behind him, interrupting his chain of thoughts. Naruto didn't have time to react as a back spin kick connected with his face, but Nagato wasn't done. When he landed, he delivered an uppercut to Naruto's gut with his left hand, followed by elbow Naruto in the back of his head with the right.

"This is foolish, Naruto-kun." Nagato said as he walked around Naruto's prone form. "Why don't you just give up and let us extract the Kyuubi willingly?"

Naruto coughed with a grin.

"Why?" he asked as he chuckled. "Because I don't feel like it!"

From out of nowhere, he pulled out a kunai and stabbed it into Nagato's foot, making the Rin'negan user's eyes widen. Naruto followed that up by spinning around on his back before flipping over and delivering a horse kick to Nagato's face, sending him stumbling back, the kunai still in his foot.

Nagato reached down and pulled the kunai out.

"You made me bleed." he said, getting an apologetic grin from Naruto, who jumped back and bit his thumbs before swiping some blood under his eyes.

"Sorry, but this is a fight, after all." he said and put his hands in a tiger seal. "Now it's time for _me_ to get serious."

--Konoha--

Fukasaku perked up and leaned in to whisper in Jiraiya's ear.

"Jiraiya-chan... Naruto-chan needs me right now. Jump back a distance so you can stand still and cover these guys with jutsus."

Jiraiya nodded and jumped on top of a semi-ruined building.

"This'll do." Shima said, nodding to herself before turning to Fukasaku. "Make sure Naruto-chan doesn't get too injured, Pa."

"I will, Ma." Fukasaku said with a nod before poofing away.

"You think he'll be alright?" Shima asked, getting a nod from Jiraiya.

"Yeah. He's my grandson, after all. Now, let's help the others. Light up the oil, Ma." he said as he took a deep breath.

"Will do."

--Ame--

Nagato's eyes widened considerably when he saw that Naruto entered Sennin Moodo, just like his sensei.

Fukasaku stared at Nagato.

"So, this is the real Pein, huh?"

"Yup." Naruto said with a nod. "So, are you ready for the first time we use Fusion in battle?"

"I'm ready." Fukasaku said, nodding. "How about you?"

"As ready as I can be at the moment."

"Enough of this." Nagato said and formed a string of handseals. "Suiton: Suikoudan no jutsu (Water Element: Water Shark Projectile technique)!" he called, causing a column of water to rise from the puddle on the floor and shoot off towards Naruto.

"Fukasaku-sensei! Fan my flames!" Naruto said and took a deep breath.

"Gotcha, sonny!" Fukasaku said and took a deep breath as well.

They both snapped their heads forwards, Naruto unleashing a jet of fire, and Fukasaku blowing a strong gust of wind at the flames, making them stronger.

Nagato was surprised to see that his technique was stopped by a fire jutsu. He was even more surprised when the fire went through it and headed straight towards him.

Outside, the people of Ame looked up when they saw that the top of highest of the west towers exploded.

"That was a weak jutsu, Pein." Naruto said calmly.

"I underestimated you." Nagato said, equally calm.

"You seem to have done that a lot during this fight. It's strange. You claim to be a God, yet I've so far managed to land a hit on you, make you bleed, and defeat your jutsu. Then what does that make me? A Super God?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not amused." Nagato said, making Naruto sigh.

"Well, we should continue this." he said and disappeared, reappearing behind Nagato, delivering a kick to the back of his head, sending him skidding across the ground. Naruto didn't give Nagato enough time to recover and appeared in front of him again, kicking him in the face. He followed the up by jumping into the air, spinning, and slamming his elbow into Nagato's spine. All Nagato could do was give off a struggled cry of pain. He tried to get up, only for Naruto to flip him over with his foot.

"Don't try to move. I've severed the third and fifth joint in your spinal column. You're not getting up." he said as he formed a Rasengan in his right hand.

"This can't happen to me! I am a God! I can't die!"

"And that's why you lost." Naruto said and gestured for Fukasaku with his head. "According to what Pa told me, you've been using other bodies to do your work. That's why you never could grasp how mortal you really are. And that's why you will die now." he said and slammed his Rasengan into Nagato's chest, turning his heart and lungs into mush and his ribs to dust.

--Konoha, a minute earlier--

"This was foolish of you all." Tendou Pein said calmly, standing in front of the prone forms of the Konoha ninjas as a black spike protruded from his and the others' cloak.

Kushina was injured badly. She was sporting a stab wound in her shoulder, and a large gash on her stomach.

Jiraiya was standing still on the same place he was earlier, Gakidou Pein standing in front of him with his spike at the ready.

Sarutobi had a broken leg and a couple of broken ribs, an he was sure, from the blood bubbles, that one of them was sticking into his lung.

Sasuke's arms were snapped and he had a slash wound going from his left shoulder to his right hip.

Kakashi's arms were also snapped, and he had one of those damnable spike sticking through his left lung.

Gaara didn't sport any injuries yet. He was just out of chakra, and his automatic defense wasn't functioning anymore.

"For defying God, you will all die." the Peins said in unison and were just about to stab the Konoha ninjas, when their eyes widened, and their eyes lost their Rin'negan. After that, they just collapsed.

"Did he win?" Jiraiya asked, smiling. "H-He won!" he shouted and turned to the watching Konoha ninjas. "We need medics, stat!"

"That boy sure is something else." Shima said with a grin.

"He sure is..."

--Ame--

"Wow... I guess we made it here too late." came a voice from behind Naruto, making him turn around to see Hoshigaki Kisame, Uchiha Itachi and five others, all dressed in Akatsuki cloaks.

"That's good." Naruto said as he went out of his Sennin Moodo. "The whole Akatsuki is gathered. Now I don't have to hunt you all down."

"What? You think you can beat us all, you little shit?" a guy with slicked back, silver hair, wielding a three bladed scythe, exclaimed with a smirk.

"I think so." Naruto said calmly as he reached into his pouch, taking out a scroll. "Pa, go back to Ero-Ojiji. Tell him that I might not be coming back."

"W-What are you talking about, Naruto-chan?!" Fukasaku asked with wide eyes. "I'm not leaving you!"

"Just do it, please." Naruto said firmly, letting Fukasaku know that he wouldn't take no for an answer. Fukasaku sighed.

"Alright. I'll tell him." he said and disappeared with a poof.

"That wasn't wise, Naruto-kun." Itachi said. "Sending away a strong ally such as one of the Toad Elders." he said, making Naruto laugh.

"If he'd stayed, he probably would've been ripped off my shoulder from the speed."

"Speed?"

"I've been meaning to try this in combat for a while." Naruto said, unrolling the scroll. "I just never thought that it would be in my last. Kai!"

An explosion of smoke erupted from the scroll, sending three pronged kunais flying everywhere, filling the entire room.

Itachi's eyes widened.

"These kunais...!"

Naruto appeared in front of Itachi with a bright, yellow flash.

"Die!" he roared and slashed at Itachi with a kunai, only for Itachi to duck and attempt to hit Naruto, but too late. He had already appeared in front of Zetsu, stabbing him in the throat, killing him instantly. There were several quick flashes, and in the end, Naruto stood above Hidan's severed head, the others laying dead on the floor. Kakuzu had a kunai in each of his hearts, Itachi's throat had been slashed open and Kisame's head had been removed from his body.

"Hey, asshole! That hurt!" Hidan shouted, making a panting Naruto growl as he raised his foot.

"You're annoying!" he shouted over Hidan's insults and slammed his foot down on the head, turning it into mush.

He slowly walked out of the room, into the corridor. Suddenly, he stopped.

'Well, that's it... I'm out of chakra...' he thought as he fell to his knees. 'I knew it... I still haven't gotten it right...'

His vision started fading as he fell forward. He could vaguely feel himself get turned over and opened his eyes to stare into an orange mask.

"My, my, Naruto-kun. You are strong. To be able to kill every single member of Akatsuki takes skill. Don't worry. I won't kill you. You're doing such a good job at it by yourself." the man said with a chuckle. "But if you somehow survive this, I will be watching you, and when you get strong enough, I will come for you. Train hard, Naruto-kun, descendant of Senju Hashirama."

Then, his vision turned black again.

--In heaven--

"No..." Mai said as she stared at the Pool. "No!" she shouted and disappeared in a flash of light, only to appear kneeling next to Naruto, who materialized in heaven, laying on his back with his eyes closed.

"Great job, son!" Minato exclaimed with a grin as he stood above him. "You kicked their asses!"

'That voice...' Naruto thought, feeling that his eyes were too heavy to open. 'I know that voice!'

--On Earth--

Mai used his powers to teleport herself, Naruto and the to Konoha, appearing in the Konoha square.

--Konoha, a couple of minutes earlier--

Fukasaku appeared on Jiraiya's shoulder, allowing him to move again. Jiraiya grinned at Fukasaku while the medics carried the wounded ninjas away.

"You did it! I knew he could do it! I knew it!" he exclaimed, but his grin dropped when he saw Fukasaku's solemn look. "What's wrong?"

"Naruto might not be coming back..." Fukasaku said, making Shima's and Jiraiya's eyes widen.

"What do you mean, Pa?"

"When Naruto had killed Pein, the rest of the Akatsuki appeared." Fukasaku said, making their eyes widen to the size of dinner plates.

"What?!"

"That's not all. Naruto told me to leave and tell you this. But he took out a black scroll as well. When we found him on Mt. Myouboku, we couldn't open that scroll."

"No!" Jiraiya exclaimed as he started running. "He hasn't perfected that jutsu yet! It's not ready for combat!" he shouted, running past the medics.

"What are you talking about, Jiraiya-chan?" Shima asked, making Jiraiya growl.

"I never should have taught him that jutsu!"

"What jutsu?!"

"The Hiraishin!" Jiraiya shouted, making Shima's and Fukasaku's eyes widen. "But he hasn't perfected it yet, so it still sucks chakra like that fat Pein!"

Suddenly, as they reached the square, there was a flash of light, and Mai appeared, kneeling next to Naruto.

"Naruto-kun!" she shouted as she patted his cheek. "Don't die... You can't die... You just can't..."

"Mai!" Jiraiya shouted as he spotted the blond, who ignored him and put her fingers against Naruto's neck, looking for a pulse, only to find none.

"Oh, no!" Mai exclaimed and closed her eyes. 'I'm gonna have to do it...' she thought and placed her hands over Naruto's chest. They started to glow a bright yellow, forcing everyone watching to close their eyes.

_'Mai, do you realize what you're doing?'_ came a voice in Mai's head.

'I know what I'm doing, Tou-san, and I don't care if I lose my position as a God. I will not let the man I love die!'

The voice sighed.

_'Very well... I won't stop you.'_

--In heaven--

"Get up, Naruto." a voice told Naruto, who suddenly found his eyelids growing lighter, allowing him to open them. He looked up to see a face he immediately recognized as the Yondaime, as well as a man with slicked back, white hair and a goatee. He was wearing a white business suit, and he was smiling down at Naruto.

"Sit up, my boy." he said, and Naruto obeyed, sitting up and rubbing his head.

"Where am I?"

"Well, I'm here..." Minato said as he crouched down next to Naruto, pointing at his face. "It should be obvious, shouldn't it?"

"I'm dead?"

"Yep." another man said, this man with purple skin, white hair and two red horns, wearing a white kimono. "So, I'm taking her with me." he said and gestured for the redhead that materialized next to him.

"Hi, Naruto-kun!" Kyuubi exclaimed with a grin, only to drop it when she spotted Minato. "Asshole..."

Minato chuckled.

"You're just pissed because I totally owned your ass."

"Anyway, my daughter is currently trying to revive you." the white haired man in the suit said as he gestured for the Pool. Naruto got up and looked into it to see-

"Mai-chan?"

"Yes." the suit man said with a smile. "I am Kami, and that is my daughter, Mai, but you might know her better as Lady Luck." he said, making Naruto's eyes widen.

"What?" he asked as he stared at the blond woman. "That's Lady Luck?"

"Yes, but she won't be for long." Kami said as he walked up to the blond, staring at the Pool with him. "According to our laws, we're not allowed to show out powers on Earth. She's ignoring that law in order to save you. As punishment for such a crime, a God is stripped from his or her powers. As such, when you get back, she will be mortal."

"Hey, son." Minato said as he walked up to Naruto and put a hand on his shoulder. "You truly kicked some ass today. By the way, when you get back, tell Kushina that I love her, and that I watch her every day in the shower." he said, making Naruto blush.

"I didn't need to hear that... But I'll tell her."

"Thanks."

Naruto held up his hand and saw that it was starting to fade away.

"It's time to go back, Naruto." Kami said calmly. "I'll be watching you though. If you do anything to hurt my daughter, you can count on that you'll be receiving my divine punishment."

"I thought that was against the law."

"Only if I show my powers on Earth. I can smite you from here."

"Oh..." Naruto said as his whole body had nearly faded away. "Well, I'll see you when I die, Tou-san."

"Yeah. Take care of your mom and sister for me."

"I will."

--On Earth--

Mai's hands stopped glowing, and she looked at Naruto's body.

"Naruto-kun? Can you hear me?"

Naruto grunted, making Mai smile as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

"H-How are you?"

Naruto slowly raised his hand. He reached into his coat and pulled out his fan, flicking it open and holding it in front of his face.

"Peachy..." he said with a grin, making Mai laugh. "Where's Anko and Kurenai?"

"They're in the shelters with Misao."

"And Kaa-san and the others?"

"They're heading for the hospital now. If you'd killed Pein just a second later, they'd be dead." Mai said, making Naruto give off a weak grin.

"Well, then I guess I'm glad I didn't give a longer speech." he said and was about to get up, when a sudden pain in his stomach stopped him. "I think I'm in need of some medical assistance. And we're gonna have to talk about your father later."

Mai was shocked.

"So... you met him?"

"Yes, I did, my Lady." Naruto said with a grin. "Ever since that deck of cards saved me from death, I've always known that you had a thing for me."

"Naruto..." Jiraiya said as he walked up to Naruto. "You used that jutsu?"

"Sorry, Ojiji..." Naruto said, shocking Jiraiya that he didn't call him Ero-Ojiji. "I couldn't think of anything else."

"Naruto!" Tsunade shouted as she arrived at the scene. "How are you?!"

"Baa-chan! Perfect timing! I think I may be in need of some medical assistance." Naruto said while Fukasaku laughed.

"You did good, boy! You're worthy of that." he said and pointed at the Oil plate on Naruto's sleeve.

"Oh, what's with the new clothes, Naruto?" Jiraiya asked as he noticed that Naruto wore different clothes.

"My old ones were shredded by a fish." Naruto said, making Jiraiya sweatdrop.

"A fish?"

"The old Muncher." Shima said, getting a nod from Jiraiya.

"Oh, him... He ate my Hitai-ate once."

"Yeah, yeah... Can I go to the hospital now?"

"You shouldn't move yet." Tsunade said as her hands started glowing green. "I'll heal you here."

--1 week later--

Naruto sat in his bed in the hospital, bored out of his mind. He was all healed up, but they wouldn't let him go yet. Sasuke walked into the room, his upper body bandaged and his arms in casts.

"Yo, Naruto. You wanna go for a walk?" he asked, making Naruto sigh.

"I'm forbidden from leaving the bed. The hospital staff doesn't want to chase me down when I escape again..."

"Oh..."

"How's Kaa-san?"

"She, Sandaime-sama and Kakashi are healing nicely." Sasuke said. "Misao is with Kushina now."

"I see." Naruto said as he fluffed up his pillow. "I'm so bored..."

When Naruto was put in the hospital, Anko, Kurenai and Mai were there immediately, ready to smother him with affection, even if he just wanted to sleep. Now, Anko and Kurenai were back at work, while he was still in bed, and Mai was at home with Misao, though Misao must've sneaked out.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto suddenly said, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow.

"Hm? What for?"

"Pein came here for me... It's technically my fault you're wounded."

Sasuke stared at Naruto for a while, before scoffing.

"Idiot."

"What?"

"You're an idiot." Sasuke said as he sat down. "This is not your fault. We were the ones who chose to fight. We could've just told him that you weren't here, but we didn't. It's our own fault. You saved us when you decided to investigate Ame."

"I guess I did..." Naruto said as he stared down at his hands. "I have to go see my mom."

"Why?"

"I have a message for her." Naruto said and got out of his bed. "They can't stop me from walking around inside the hospital, right?"

"I don't think so." Sasuke said, making Naruto grin.

"Well, let's go then."

--Kushina's room--

"So, what's it like?" Misao asked as she and Gaara stood next to Kushina's bed.

"What?" Kushina asked.

"Almost dieing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know what it's like to die for real?" came Naruto's voice from the doorway.

"Aniki!"

"Naruto!"

"Hi, Kaa-san, Imotou, Gaara." Naruto said, nodding at the three. "Kaa-san, I almost forgot. I have a message for you."

"Really? From who?" Kushina asked, getting a grin from Naruto.

"From Tou-san."

"What?!" Kushina, Misao and Gaara exclaimed in unison.

"Yup. When I died, I met him, Kami and Shinigami. Shinigami took out the Kyuubi and Tou-san told me to tell you something."

"Well, what is it?" Kushina asked, still wide eyed.

"He told me to tell you that he loves you and... that he watches you every day in the shower..."

"Ew!" Misao exclaimed. "That was more than I needed to know!"

"That's what I said."

"So... Even in death... he's still a pervert..." Kushina said, blushing.

"Yup. Well, I need to go see sensei and Kakashi." Naruto said as he turned to leave.

"You do that. I'll see you later, Aniki."

"Alright."

On the way to Sarutobi's room, Naruto met a grumbling blond, who he immediately recognized.

"Oh, Yugito-san? Why so glum?"

"Why?" Yugito asked with a glare. "I'll tell you why! I was forced to hide in the shelters while you guys were doing all the fighting! It sucked! All the crying children needing to go to the bathroom..."

"That does suck." Naruto said with a nod. "Well, at least you didn't have to get sent to a hospital!"

"Yeah..."

"By the way, what are you doing here?"

"I was just visiting Kakashi-kun." Yugito said, making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Kakashi-kun?"

"Yeah. You didn't know? We're dating."

"Wow..." Naruto said with wide eyes. "Well, congratulations on hooking up with a masked pervert." he said and grinned when Yugito's eye started twitching. "See you later, Yugito-san."

--Sarutobi's room--

"That boy sure is something else." Sarutobi said with a smile as he looked at Jiraiya, who was standing next to his bed. "He was able to take out nine S-rank criminals by himself at once..."

"He's surpassed me by far. He can enter Sennin Moodo without any changes, except for his eyes, and he only need one toad on his shoulder for it. He's strong. He might grow to become the strongest ninja in the world, if he masters the Hiraishin."

"Yeah..." Sarutobi said with a nod. "I remember when he was a little child that I could knock over with a poke. Now the tables are turned."

"Talking about me behind my back?" Naruto asked as he entered the room. "I hope you're not saying anything bad about me."

"Don't worry." Jiraiya said with a grin. "It's only praise."

"Good." Naruto said with an identical grin on his face. "How are you feeling, sensei?"

Sarutobi chuckled.

"I may not be as fit as I once was, but it'll take more than a couple of broken ribs, a busted lung and a broked leg to take me down." he said, getting a nod from Naruto.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"By the way, Naruto. Now that you're taking up the title of sannin, what will you do?" Jiraiya asked, making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm going to take over your spy network."

"I know that, but what are you going to do to pass the time?" Jiraiya asked as he took out his Icha Icha Tactics. "This is what I do when I'm traveling."

"Well, I'm thinking about writing myself." Naruto said, making Jiraiya's eyes light up with excitement. "Not smut though."

"Damn..."

"I don't know what I'll write yet, but I might write an autobiography." Naruto said as he put a hand on his chin. "That sounds good. Kami knows that my life could become a good book. Well, if you're feeling well, sensei, I better get back to bed, before Shizune flips out again."

"You do that, Naruto." Sarutobi said with a smile.

"I'll see you guys later." Naruto said as he left the room.

"He's the Destined Child." Jiraiya said with a nod. "I just know it."

--2 days later--

Naruto was laying on top of the Hokage Monument, thinking as he stared up at the stars.

'Well, the Akatsuki is no more, but there's still Orochimaru... And who was that masked guy? He just popped in and then disappeared... "I'll be watching you, Naruto-kun, descendant of Senju Hashirama..." Dammit... Why did he have to say that? Now I won't be able to stop thinking about it...'

--Done--

**I'm done! Huzzah! I was actually thinking about making this the final chapter, but I thought 'What the hell? I might as well continue.'**

**That was as good as I could make the fight scene between Naruto and Nagato. I tried as hard as I could, sitting up all night, so now I'm going to sleep...**

**R&R!!!**

**R&R!!!**

**R&R!!!**

**R&R!!!**

**R&R!!!**

**R&R!!!**


	16. Must Read!

**Dear Readers,**

**I'm sorry to all of you, who thought that this was a new chapter...**

**It is with a heavy heart that I have to put The Gambler on temporary Hiatus. Why, you ask? Because, when I'm writing, I just can't feel the excitement I feel when writing the chapters... As soon as that spark returns, so will The Gambler, but until then, I'll be working on some other stories that has gotten me excited.**

**This is by no means an abandonment notice. I'll still update. It'll just take a while.**

**I hope that I'll get good reviews for the next chapter when it comes out, and please don't flame me for this AN.**

**With love and cookies,**

**ZnK**


	17. FINISHED!

**My spark is back, and now, I give you the kinda action-packed final chapter of The Gambler!**

--Enjoy--

_'I'll be watching you, Naruto-kun, descendant of Senju Hashirama...'_

Naruto shot up in his bed, three weeks after the battle in Ame.

"What the fuck?!" he shouted, shocking his three fiancées awake.

"What's wrong, Naruto-kun?" Kurenai asked with wide eyes.

"I can't get that masked guy out of my head!" Naruto exclaimed, his eyes screwed shut. "How the hell did he just appear like that... And why didn't he kill me there?"

"Naruto-kun, don't think about that now," Anko said tiredly. "Go back to sleep."

Naruto sighed, before laying back down.

"That bastard probably knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep at night..." he muttered as his three fiancées laid back down as well.

--The Hokage Monument--

"Uzumaki Naruto..." the masked man mumbled as he sat on the Shodai's head. He chuckled. "I'm sure you would've been proud of him, Hashi. I wonder if he'll be able to do what you failed to do. To have become this strong without even realizing that his bloodline is active..."

"You there," came a voice from behind him, making him turn around to see a team of five ANBUs staring at him.

"Yes?"

"Who are you? You are clearly not a citizen of Konoha."

The masked man chuckled as he stood up.

"Me? I'm one of the first citizens of Konoha," he said and disappeared, reappearing behind the ANBU team. "I am... Uchiha Madara."

And with that, he disappeared, leaving a team of decapitated ANBUs behind.

--A few days later--

Naruto was sitting inside the woods, writing in a book, using his scroll as a makeshift chair. The title of the book was 'The rise of the Lucky ninja.' He was just coming out of Rice, and had taken over Jiraiya's spy network there, coming into contact with the leader of the Fuuma clan.

"I wonder..." Naruto mumbled, leaning back to stare at the sky. "Masks... Kakashi wears a mask... He's strong... ANBU wear masks, and they're strong... How strong was that mask?" he muttered to himself, before scoffing, grabbing the sake bottle hanging from his waist. "Bah! I can't think!"

He heard something creaking, and quickly spun around, only to find no one.

"What the hell?" he asked, blinking as he stared into the woods. Shaking his head, he turned back, took a sip of sake and continued his writing. "Senkou, the Elemental Hero."

"Sounds good," came the playful voice of the Mask, making Naruto turn around again, only to find the Akatsuki playing with... a Naruto chibi doll? "Strange... You come in doll form. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get one of these? I had to body check an old lady and light a lady's skirt on fire."

"Yeah, I know. I had to tackle three old ladies in order to get one for each of my fiancées." Naruto said calmly, though he didn't drop his guard. "Who are you?"

"My name is not important, Senju Naruto," the man said playfully. "But if you have to call me something... I guess you can call me Tobi."

"Alright. What do you want with me, Tobi?"

"Oh, I wanna play a little," Tobi said, obviously grinning behind his mask as he reached into his coat, taking out a doll, which looked like a homemade Tobi doll. "The game is called 'Stop Konoha's destruction,'" he said, making Naruto's eyes widen. Tobi started playing with the dolls, having them fight each other. "The hero of the story, that's you, will try to stop the enemy, that's me, from destroying Konoha. However, when the game starts, I decide. It could start right now, and it could start in ten years. It all depends on one thing..."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. He took out his fan and flicked it open.

"And that is?"

"It depends... on whether or not I'm in the mood."

Naruto blinked.

"Well, that was..."

"Anticlimactic, wasn't it?" Tobi asked, laughing. "Well, I won't keep you from working on your masterpiece anymore. But remember, I'll be watching you," he said, before vanishing.

Naruto blinked, staring at the spot where Tobi had once stood, before getting up, pocketing his book and pen, and picking up his scroll, slinging it diagonally across his back. He sniffed around, trying to find Tobi's scent, only to find that the trail stopped where it started.

"Damn it..." he muttered, before looking east. "Well, Iwa is next, I guess."

He started walking, only having one thing on his mind.

"Masks, masks... What I wouldn't give to destroy all the masks... Tobi, you're driving me insane... I never thought I'd loathe something orange with a swirl on it..."

--Some time later--

Naruto was sitting by a river, thinking about Tobi. Who was he? Where was he from? Why was he wearing that mask? He sighed, dabbing his forehead with a piece of wet cloth.

"Damn it!" he exclaimed as he laid down, putting his hands behind his head. "I should be gambling right now, not thinking about a stupid, childish, mask-wearing, stupid, wait, I already said that... um... ah, insane! I shouldn't be thinking bout a stupid, childish, mask wearing, insane guy like Tobi!"

He sighed again and sat up, deciding to meditate a little to clear his mind. That wasn't so easy, since he could only think about his fiancées, booze, cards and orange swirl masks.

'I kinda miss Kyuubi. It's so... quiet in my head now...' He took a deep breath, and focused on his chakra. His eyes snapped open when he felt something. His chakra was... flowing into the ground... He closed his eyes and focused on it again, and he noticed some of the chakra sprouting from the ground.

Opening his eyes again, Naruto saw something that shocked him. All around him, plants had sprouted from the ground.

"Oh, dear..."

--Konoha--

"I'm so bored!" Anko exclaimed, pouting as she sat at Naruto's poker table in his compound with Gaara, Misao, Mai, Kurenai and Kushina. They were currently playing poker, and Gaara was winning. "And I'm beginning to believe that all jinchuuriki are natural born gamblers!"

Gaara shrugged, and kept staring at his card, having a poker face that seemed to be carved from stone.

"If you're so bored, then why do you continue to play with us?" Kurenai asked, while trying to see if Gaara was bluffing or not. She'd have more luck staring at a wall.

"Because I have nothing better to do," Anko said with a pout. "I wish Naru-kun was here..."

"He'll be back soon," Kushina said, smiling at her soon to be daughter-in-laws. "He just has to establish contact with Jiraiya's spy network, and then, he'll return."

"But there are many gambling dens between the spies. It might take longer than anticipated..." Mai said as she called Gaara, who remained as stoic as ever.

"Gaara!" Misao whined, pouting. "Why won't you react to anything?!"

"Because if I'd react to you rubbing my leg under the table, I'd lose my focus," Gaara spoke calmly, while the women in the room turned to Misao, who blushed.

"I just wanna win..."

"Don't worry," Anko said with a grin. "I do it, too."

"Not to me," Gaara said, and the others looked around, to see Mai and Kurenai blushing. Gaara finally showed emotion, and suffered from a massive nosebleed.

Anko stared down at the now unconscious Gaara, and nodded to herself.

"Yep, he's out," she said with a grin, while the others worked on splitting up Gaara's chips.

--Near Kusa--

"Full house," Naruto spoke calmly as he showed his cards to the other three around the table in the gambling den. The others groaned and threw their cards unto the table, while Naruto, grinning like a Cheshire cat, raked in his chips. Another poker game won. The other players were smart enough not to play against Naruto, and headed over to the bar to drink their troubles away. Three new players sat down, one of whom Naruto recognized.

"Tobi!" he exclaimed, pointing at the masked ninja, who chuckled.

"Oh, Naruto-kun! Fancy seeing you here. I had no idea."

"Are you stalking me?!"

Tobi was quiet, seemingly staring at him, before shrugging. "I don't know." Naruto's eye twitched, and Tobi just chuckled. "Come on now, Naruto-kun! You're the big blind!"

Naruto restrained himself from attacking Tobi, and just settled for throwing in the blind.

Some time later, after Naruto had wiped the floor with Tobi and the other two, Naruto was walking through the gambling town, with Tobi following him, enacting 'The Climactic Battle,' starring Naruto the Plushie, and Tobi the Plushie.

"Naruto-kun, you're so mean! Why did you have to steal all my money?" he asked, obviously pouting, judging by his tone of voice.

"It's not my fault you're a lousy poker player," Naruto said as he glared at Tobi. "You're the one who decided to go all in in the first round."

"Not my fault..."

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Lazy blond!"

"Masked freak!"

Tobi gasped, and grasped at his heart, staring at Naruto. Naruto almost groaned, thinking he was going to start crying. Then, to Naruto's surprise, Tobi started laughing, loudly.

"That's a good one, Naruto-kun!" he exclaimed, falling to his knees from the laughter. "You know, in all my years wearing this mask, I have never once been called that!"

Naruto stared at the laughing form of Tobi, and shook his head. He seemed to think that Naruto was joking, or something. Deciding not to bother with it, he walked away.

--3 months later--

Naruto stared up at the gates of Konoha, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Finally! No more Tobi!"

The masked ninja had followed Naruto wherever he went, and bugged the hell out of him constantly. Naruto hardly even got to train his new found Wood element, due to that masked freak. He sighed and started walking, the guards at the gate saluting him when he passed.

Now, he'd go to Tsunade, say hello, give his report, and then, he'd go home, and say hello to his fiancées, followed by hours upon hours of sex. Sex using shadow clones. One thing he loved about his shadow clones was the fact that everything they experience during sex gets transferred to him when they dispel. Thus, if he uses five clones, he'd be having sex six times in one.

A perverted chuckle escaped Naruto's lips, and he whipped out his fan to hide his now bleeding nose from the public as he fantasized about the things he'd do to his fiancées when he met them again.

Later, a groggy Tsunade was awakened by a knocking on her door, and she yawned loudly.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal Naruto, who was grinning happily at her.

"Yo, Baa-chan! What's up?!"

"N-Naruto!" Tsunade, sleepiness long gone, shot out of her chair and went around her desk, wrapping Naruto up in a death hug. After a few minutes of struggling on Naruto's part, Tsunade finally let him go, and let him give her his report.

"Connections with Ero-Ojiji's spy network has been established. There was some reluctance, but when they read the scroll from Ero-Ojiji, they realized that I really was his successor."

"Then, mission accomplished?" Tsunade asked, and Naruto nodded. "Good, then you may go home."

Naruto nodded and got up, ready to go home and have sex with his fiancées, when an explosion went off somewhere in Konoha. Naruto groaned unhappily, and pouted.

"I guess I won't be going home just yet..."

"Go, Naruto!" Tsunade exclaimed, and Naruto nodded unhappily, before vanishing.

He reappeared near the center of Konoha, where a building, an ordinary apartment building by the looks of it, was on fire.

"The hell happened here?" he asked, scratching his head as he saw ninjas and civilians coming out of the building, saving whoever they could. He was about to go help them, when he sensed something behind him, and quickly reached into his coat, pulling out his metal bo staff and extending it, before turning around, blocking a ninja-to.

"Iwa?!" Naruto exclaimed when he saw the ninja in front of him wearing an Iwa jounin uniform. Not giving him the chance to speak, Naruto quickly smashed the sword away, and slammed the butt of his staff into the ninja's midsection, before spinning around and smacking him on the cheek, sending him flying.

"Strange."

Naruto spun around, finding himself staring at Sarutobi, who was staring at the Iwa ninja, his eyes narrowed. "We haven't detected a single chakra signature, apart from his."

"Some kind of distraction?" Naruto asked, getting a shrug in response.

"We'll just have to ask him, won't we?"

Naruto chuckled. "Anko-chan will definitely be happy." His eyes widened, and he patted Sarutobi on the back. "I'll let you take care of him, sensei! I'm gonna see my family!"

"Very well. Have fun, Naruto," Sarutobi said, and the blond nodded, before vanishing.

He appeared at the gates of the Namikaze compound, and opened them, coming upon a peculiar sight.

Gai was there. He was on the ground, beaten and bleeding. Standing above him was Lee, crying.

"Gai-sensei! Talk to me! Wake up!"

Naruto was about to ask about it, when Kushina came running, wrapped in a towel. She pointed down at Gai, glaring at him.

"And don't you ever dare walk in on me in the shower again!"

"Violent as ever," Naruto spoke calmly as he adjusted the scroll on his back, smiling. Kushina turned to him, and he waved. "Hi, mom!"

Immediately, Kushina forgot about Gai, and rushed over to Naruto, hugging him. "Welcome back, Naruto!"

"Thank you," Naruto said, hugging her back. "Hey, where are my fiancées?"

"In your house, sulking, like always," Kushina said, grinning. "They're a little lonely without you."

"Well, I best go see them then, huh?"

Kushina nodded, and Naruto took off, just as Lee finally noticed that he'd returned.

"YOSH! NARUTO-KUN, YOUR RETURN MUST BE CELEBRATED! I CH-" Lee was suddenly interrupted by a fist, courtesy of Kushina, who smashed him into the ground, right next to his teacher.

"SHUT UP!"

--The next day--

"He was a tough nut to crack, but we managed," Tsunade said, sitting behind her desk. In front of her was Anko, Shizune, Naruto, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai and Sarutobi. "Turned out he had a blocking seal on his tongue, to keep him from spilling any information. Of course, Jiraiya easily studied and broke the seal, and after intense torture, courtesy of everyone's lovable Snake Sannin," Anko blushed at the praise, "we managed to find out that the man wasn't an Iwa ninja."

"Eh?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. "Then where was he from?"

"Konoha."

"WHAT?!"

Everyone stared at each other, seeing as everyone, save for Tsunade and Anko, had said the exact same thing. Naruto, however, was the first to snap out of his shock.

"Konoha?! Who the fuck would dress up as an Iwa ninja and bomb a building in their own village?"

"A ROOT ninja," Anko said with a sigh. "Apparently, Danzo wanted it to look like Iwa was attacking us. I guess he was hoping the agent would get killed, but things didn't work out the way he planned."

"We don't have any evidence anymore, though," Tsunade said, getting questioning looks from the others. "The ROOT died immediately after he confessed, due to a seal located over his heart. So, we can't have Danzo arrested. What we can do, though, is do things his way."

The ninjas in the office blinked a little, and Sarutobi was the first to catch on. "Assassination?"

"Heh, _ass-ass-_ination," Naruto whispered, chuckling. "Funny."

"The number of possible assassins was just lowered by one," Tsunade said, glaring at Naruto, who shrugged. "Plus, I need to have guards for the Summit."

"Summit, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked, getting a nod from Tsunade.

"A Kage summit has been called," Tsunade said, making everyone's eyes widen. "We're going to discuss an alliance."

"That's good," Naruto said, nodding. "If the Great Nations are allied, they, with all of their allies, can make sure that there won't be another Great Ninja War."

"The Third was enough, that's for sure," Jiraiya said, getting nods of agreement from those who fought in the war.

"There might finally be peace in the Elemental Countries," Tsunade said with a smile. "And it's all thanks to Naruto."

Everyone turned to the blond, who'd been getting some dirt out of his nails with a kunai. He looked up and stared at the others. "Hm? What'd I do?"

"You defeated the Akatsuki by yourself, Naruto," Tsunade said, standing up. "None of the Great Nations wants to face another Yellow Flash. So, they requested an alliance. Now, I'm going to need two escorts. Naruto is a given, but the other-" Tsunade interrupted herself and pointed at Jiraiya, who'd just been about to speak up. "Not you."

"I think Kakashi-san should come as the second escort." The others looked at him, and he explained. "Kakashi-san is probably one of the three strongest active jounin in the village. It would leave one hell of an impression, wouldn't it? The Card Shark and Sharingan no Kakashi? Besides, Anko, Shizune, and probably even Ero-Ojiji needs to be here for the Danzo assassination."

Tsunade nodded. "That sounds good. Kurenai, Asuma," she said, looking at the two jounins. "Are there any genins you would like to nominate to the Chunnin exams in a week?"

"Kiba and Hinata."

"Ino," Asuma said, getting a nod from Tsunade.

"That's it for now. Anko, be here tomorrow at 1100 hours. Naruto and Kakashi, be here at 1400 hours."

"Roger," everyone said in unison, before leaving the office.

The next day, Kakashi, Naruto and Tsunade were at the gates, with pretty much every single ninja seeing them off. In the front was the shinobi council. In front of them was the Konoha elders, Koharu and Homura.

"Naruto, Kakashi," Homura said, getting the attention of the two lazy ninjas. "We're entrusting Tsunade-hime's life to you two. Please don't fail."

"Don't worry, Elder," Naruto said, grinning as he flicked open his fan. "My head will have to be cut off before I allow Obaa-chan to even get scratched! It's a promise!"

"We'll do our best, Elder," Kakashi said, giving an eye smile.

"Tsunade-hime," Homura said and nodded to the Hokage. "Good luck at the Summit."

Tsunade nodded, putting on her Hokage hat, and walking off, Naruto and Kakashi close behind.

"I just thought of something," Naruto said as he fanned himself. Tsunade looked at him, urging him to go on. "Since you became Hokage, this is, like, the first time you ever put on that hat."

"That's true," Kakashi said with a nod. "I've never seen you wear it, except for when you accepted the position..."

"It's uncomfortable," Tsunade said with a grunt as she adjusted the hat on her head. "I'd prefer it if we just had to wear, like, an armband, or something."

"That'd be simpler," Naruto said with a nod. "But it'd leave less of an impression."

The trip to the Land of Iron was uneventful. There was one time when a group of bandits tried to attack them, but the sheer power the three ninjas radiated told them that would be a bad idea. Wisely, they chose to back off.

The Land of Iron was a small, neutral land formed by three mountains called the "Three Wolves." It maintained a unique culture and strong military, which used samurai for protection. Ninja villages respected their neutrality and did not challenge their force. Their neutrality made them a good location for the Kage Summit called by the Raikage.

At the border of the Land of Iron, Tobi stood, along with Orochimaru, who glanced at him.

"So, all I have to do is go in there, and get you the Kyuubi brat?"

"Do that, and I'll stop hunting you," Tobi said with a nod.

"I'm strong, but facing the five Kages is... is suicide. I'll get killed for sure," Orochimaru said, getting a chuckle from Tobi, who released some strong KI.

"What do you think will happen if you don't do it?" he asked, still chuckling. "Worry about me, Orochimaru."

Orochimaru sighed, before melting into the ground.

Meanwhile, Tsunade, Naruto and Kakashi entered the building, where they would be meeting the other Kages. Tsunade nodded, and Naruto and Kakashi headed up a set of stairs, while Tsunade entered a round room. Naruto and Kakashi came out on the floor above the room, where there was a stand overlooking the meeting room. Looking around, Naruto saw Baki and Kankuro, ninjas from Suna. He also saw two Iwa ninjas, one incredibly fat, and the other a rather cute woman. The Kiri escorts were a large man, obviously a 10-year veteran, at least. Most likely closer to 20. The other was someone Naruto recognized as a member of the Seven Swordsmen, 6th ranked Choujuurou. He was ranked sixth because, though he was skilled, he lacked confidence.

Upon closer inspection, the other Kiri ninja was a man named Ao. That eye patch was a bit of a mystery, and not even Jiraiya's spy network could find out what was under it. There was also a rumor that he had battled Uchiha Shisui at one time. Whether he won or not was unknown.

The two Kumo escorts were nothing to talk about. One of them looked extremely normal, which was strange for a ninja, and the other one looked kinda like the Kumo equivalent of Shikamaru, droopy- and lazy-looking.

Naruto remembered something, and grinned, reaching into his pocket, taking out a fist-full of rings. Kakashi raised an eyebrow as he watched Naruto put them on, and his eye widened when he saw what they were. Akatsuki rings. Nine of them. He wore one of each finger, save for his left little finger.

"This'll leave more of an impression, won't it?" Naruto asked with a grin as he showed off the rings. Kakashi was about to respond, when someone spoke down in the meeting room.

"Place your hats on the table." The two Konoha ninjas looked down, finding all the Kages sitting at a C-shaped table, with a man in front of them, his head wrapped in bandages.

The Raikage was a huge man, muscled and dark-skinned, with his platinum hair tied into cornrows. The Tsuchikage was a short, bald old man with thick eyebrows, and very small eyes. The Mizukage was one of the most beautiful women Naruto had ever seen, with long, brown hair that reached down to her lower back. Her right eye was covered by her hair, and Naruto could swear he could feel the perverted blush coming from Kakashi.

The Kazekage made Naruto raise an eyebrow. Temari, Gaara's sister, was sitting in the Kazekage's chair.

"MY name is Mifune. I will be your amoderator," the man with the bandages said, a no-nonsense look on his face. "The meeting will now begin."

"I'll go first," Temari said. "Listen up."

"The makeup of the Five Kages sure has changed. You must be something special to be made Kazekage at your age," the Tsuchikage said, staring hard at Temari. "Your father must have taught you right, but apparently, he forgot to instill in you any manners."

"I guess... That's why I'm here as Kazekage," Temari said, getting a loud laugh from the Tsuchikage.

"Hah! Cheeky brat!"

"Tsuchikage, please stop interrupting," the Mizukage said, and turned to Temari. "Kazekage, please continue."

"My brother is a host. Akatsuki nearly captured a year ago, trying to extract the beast," Temari explained, resting her chin against her hands. "That's why I believe Akatsuki is extremely dangerous."

"What's that about?" Naruto asked, getting a shrug from Kakashi.

"That happened before Gaara came to Konoha. Well, it was the reason why he moved to Konoha."

"I requested aid from the other Kages many times, but they all ignored me," Temari continued. "Except for Hokage-dono. Though at this point, with so many hosts captured, it's too late for aid."

"Hmph... If a country had its host captured, it has no business giving other countries orders. It's an embarrassment!" Tsuchikage said, glaring at the Kages. "You should have tried to recover it in secret! Once it's stolen, you can't expect other countries to help you!"

"Appearance... Honor... I don't have time for that ridiculous, old-fashioned thinking."

Suddenly, everyone in the stands perked up, when the Raikage raised his fist. At once, all of them blurred down in front of the Kage, who slammed his fist into the table, breaking it.

"Quit your yapping!"

Naruto and Kakashi were in front of the escorts, also in front of the Raikage's escorts, who were in front of the huge man, ready to defend him.

Their eyes widened, however, when they saw who they were facing off against. The Card Shark and Sharingan no Kakashi.

"We are here to talk," Mifune said, glaring at the ninjas. "Please refrain from such displays of rudeness."

"Stand down, Naruto, Kakashi," Tsunade said, getting smiles from her ninjas, who nodded and blurred up into the stands again.

"You too Kankuro, Baki," Temari said, and her ninjas did the same.

"Ao, Choujuurou, it's all right," Mizukage told her ninjas, who nodded and went up to the stands, while the Iwa ninjas headed upstairs when Tsuchikage jerked his head.

When everyone were seated, Raikage glared at the other Kages.

"Konoha, Iwa, Suna, Kiri! Akatsuki is made up from missing-nin from your villages! And that-"

He was interrupted when Naruto blurred down again, sitting down in front of Tsunade as he covered his fan.

"Why are you stuck in the past, Raikage-sama?"

The other Kages looked at him, Tsuchikage glaring when he noticed who he was.

"What are you talking about, boy?"

"Akatsuki. Why are you all arguing about an organization that no longer exists?"

"What do you mean, no longer exists?" Mizukage asked, furrowing her brow in confusion. "I have received no such information."

"I guess no one decided to spread the news," Naruto said, smiling. Then, he held up his hands, showing off his Akatsuki rings. "A few months ago, I destroyed the Akatsuki."

"All in one go, I might add," Tsunade added, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"That's impossible!" Tsuchikage yelled, glaring. "Akatsuki is made up of nine S-rank ninjas!"

Naruto smirked and reached into his coat, taking out a three-pronged kunai. "Ever hear of the Hiraishin, Tsuchikage-sama?"

The other Kages gaped at Naruto. Another Konoha ninja able to use the Hiraishin?! And Konoha's Card Shark at that?!

"That's still impossible!" Raikage roared, glaring fiercely at Naruto. "My brother was kidnapped by Akatsuki just a few days ago!"

"Unlikely," Naruto said, chuckling. "I met Bee a few days ago when I was heading back home to Konoha," he said and reached into his coat, taking out a pair of sunglasses. "I won these from him in a game of poker."

The Raikage stared at the sunglasses for a few seconds, before snapping.

"That jackass! He used it as an excuse to leave the village and gallivant about!! I won't let him get away with this!"

"You should have figured that out already," Naruto said, scratching his head. "After all, Bee told me he forgot to leave signs of a struggle."

"Anyway, didn't you call this meeting to discuss an alliance, Raikage?" Tsunade asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or did you lie to get us here?"

"A little bit of both, actually."

The Raikage was about to continue, when the building suddenly shook, and a crack formed in the wall. Naruto sniffed the air, and his eyes widened, just in time for the wall to shatter, and a snake came flying at him, knocking straight into his chest and sending him flying through the opposite wall.

"Naruto!" Tsunade yelled, and headed of the hole in the wall, only for a purple shield to appear in front of the hole.

"Can't have you joining the battle, Tsunade-hime," came a voice from inside, making Tsunade's eyes widen. The Raikage growled and slammed his fist into the wall, crumbling it, to find Orochimaru standing in the next room, a purple shield protecting him from outsiders, with Naruto on the floor in front of him, rubbing his chest.

"Ow..." Naruto muttered, before shooting to his feet, his fan already covering his face. "Yo, Orochi-kun! What's up?"

Orochimaru twitched in annoyance at the name, before smirking.

"It's a shame, Naruto-kun, but I've come to kill you."

"Perfect, I've been waiting for an opportunity!" Naruto exclaimed, and turned toward Tsunade. "Oi, Baa-chan! Watch closely, will ya! I'll show you something super cool!" He flashed her two thumbs up. "Suuuper cool, Baa-chan!"

Tsunade sweatdropped. "Focus on your opponent, you fool!"

"Tch, fine!" Naruto said as he turned back to Orochimaru. "Shall we get started?"

Before Orochimaru had even started to respond, Naruto's hands shot up, and he formed handseals at a fast rate, ending in a Snake seal.

"Mokuton: Daijurin no jutsu (Wood Element: Great Forest technique)!" he exclaimed, and shot out with his arm, as several wooden pikes grew out of his arm, shooting off toward Orochimaru, who went wide eyed. He hadn't been expecting that. However, he jumped out of the way, forming handseals as well.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu (Fire Element: Grand Fireball technique)!" Orochimaru exclaimed as he blew a huge ball of fire out of his mouth, sending it flying toward Naruto, engulfing him.

Suddenly, Naruto appeared behind the snake man, hitting him in the temple with his bo-staff, sending him flying. He didn't give him time to recuperate, however, as he flashed away in an all too familiar yellow flash, making the watching Kages' eyes widen, along with the other ninjas watching.

"Without the kunai!" Kakashi exclaimed as Naruto appeared to be playing table tennis with Orochimaru, flashing back and forth and kicking the pale Sannin. "How's that possible?!"

"No idea..." Tsunade muttered, while the others just gaped.

"Hiraishin..." the Tsuchikage muttered, his eyes wide in disbelief.

Naruto flashed ten times, and appeared a few feet behind Orochimaru, who suddenly screamed in pain as his body was sliced up, spraying blood over the floor. He fell to his knees, drawing raspy breaths.

"Y-You... You bastard!" he hissed, while Naruto merely turned to him, smiling, though he was panting a little.

"Man, that's really draining, you know..." He sighed as he formed a few more hand seals, ending in Snake. Suddenly, wooden spikes shot out of the ground, and Orochimaru was forced to dodge, jumping to the side, but due to the pain he was in, he was forced to roll as his knees gave out, just in time for a wooden spike to pass through the air where his head had been just a millisecond before.

"Damn..." Naruto muttered as he watched Orochimaru get up, seemingly no longer bothered by his injuries.

"You're gonna pay for that, you little brat..." Orochimaru muttered, while Naruto just laughed.

"I took out the entire Akatsuki by myself, Oro-chan. What could you do?" he asked as he flashed away, appearing in the air behind Orochimaru, his bo-staff extended.

The purple 'cage' was suddenly filled with dust as Naruto rammed his bo-staff into Orochimaru's neck, slamming him into the ground.

Once the dust cleared, the spectators could see Naruto standing over Orochimaru, though you couldn't see the Snake Sannin's head, which was buried under the ground, with the bo-staff pushing it down.

Suddenly, a sword shot out of the ground, heading straight for Naruto's heart. Reacting quickly, Naruto jumped to the side, landing several feet away with a raised eyebrow.

The sword retracted into the ground, and soon, Orochimaru stood up, pulling his head out of the ground. Before Naruto had the chance to speak, Orochimaru let out a hissing roar as his body started bulging. Naruto just stood there, wide eyed, as Orochimaru's body grew into a long, snake-like body, consisting of hundreds of small, white snakes.

Now, Naruto had to whistle. "Wow... You're not even human anymore, are you?"

Orochimaru, swallowed by rage, didn't respond. Instead, he just charged Naruto head on, not thinking about what he was doing. Naruto just sighed as he held out his hand, a Rasengan already formed. Also charging, he slammed the Rasengan into Orochimaru's nose.

Now, Orochimaru made a sound. He let out a agonized shriek as the Rasengan tore his face apart, before blasting him away, into the purple barrier, which set him on fire, turning him to ash in a matter of seconds.

Naruto let out a sigh of relief as he walked over to his bo-staff, picking it up and folding it, before stuffing it into his coat again, this time taking out four cards. He charged them with chakra, and spun 360 degrees, letting the cards fly. The cards passed right through the barrier, hitting each of the four Oto-ninjas in the corners, holding it up. As they all let out choked cries of pain from the cards lodged in their throats, they fell to the ground, letting the barrier drop.

When he walked up to the stunned Kages, he grinned. "I know what you're all thinking right now. You're all thinking, 'Did he just take down one of the most dangerous criminals in the world without breaking a sweat?'" he guessed, chuckling as he took out his fan, flicking it open and covering his face. "The answer is yes. Yes, I did." When he saw that no one had moved, he cleared his throat. "Well, uh, should we continue with the meeting?"

This got them all moving again.

--The next day--

"They were eager to agree to the alliance," Naruto said, his face covered by his fan as Kakashi, Tsunade and he were heading towards Konoha again. After Naruto's display of skill, Tsunade had suggested the five village alliance, and they were all quick to agree.

If anything, that had just managed to inflate Naruto's ego even more, if that was even possible.

So, as they walked through the gates of Konoha, Naruto flashed away, leaving many people in awe as they saw it.

He reappeared inside his house, sitting in his chair in the dining room, with his feet up on the table, yawning.

Only then did he realize that his family was at the table, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Oh, hello!" he said as he waved cheerfully. Everyone just stared at him, slack-jawed. He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Did you just... use the Hiraishin?" Kushina asked, getting a grin from Naruto.

"Maybe."

Deciding to ask later, Kurenai cleared her throat. "So, uh, how was the Kage Summit?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Naruto said with a shrug. "They argued, Orochimaru attacked, I killed him with style, and scared the Kages into agreeing to form an alliance."

Once again, the occupants of the table went slack-jawed. Naruto just set his eyes on a dish.

"Ooh, dango!"

As he started digging into the food, the others followed shortly after, all of them deciding to get details from Naruto later.

"Oh," Anko said suddenly, smiling. "In other news, I'm pregnant."

Everyone went slack-jawed again, including Naruto. A thud was heard, and Naruto was found on the floor, passed out.

--The next day--

Naruto, Tsunade and Jiraiya were sitting in a bar in southern Konoha, all three of them shitfaced.

"I-I don' get it..." Naruto slurred, barely keeping his eyes open. "It's too much... First, the Summit, th'n Oroshimru, and now this! I'm too young ter be a father, arn' I?"

Tsunade shrugged, as did Jiraiya.

"You're never too old, brat, or too old."

"Well, I s're s hell don' wanna have a baby at this age, I can tell you that," Jiraiya muttered, getting a nod of agreement from Tsunade.

"That's true, but I just said that you're never too old, I never said that you wanted to have kids at this age."

"How about a game of poker?" Naruto asked, reaching into his coat to take out a deck of cards.

Jiraiya and Tsunade grinned. Finally, they'd be able to beat Naruto, since he was drunk.

Too bad they didn't think about the fact that they were drunk as well...

So, the next day, Naruto woke up in his living room, on the couch, hungover and red-eyed. Next to him was a pile of clothes, Jiraiya's and Tsunade's. Remembering everything the two bet yesterday, Naruto chuckled merrily as he got off the couch, heading toward the kitchen, going to make coffee.

He hummed a slow tune as he sat on his porch, a cup of coffee in his hand as he watched Misao and Gaara walk by. He waved at them, and they waved back.

There was something he'd forgotten. He was sure of it! He just couldn't remember.

So, later that day, he was surprised to find people smiling and congratulating him. And it wasn't because Anko was pregnant, that was for damn sure. So, why were they congratulating him?

"Hey, congratulations, Namikaze-sama!" an old shopkeeper, one of the ones who'd always been kind to him, said as he waved at Naruto. "I always knew you could do it!"

"Ah, yeah!" Naruto said, smiling as he waved back, though he had no idea what the man was talking about. Then, when he got to the Hokage Tower, he got an answer as to why people were congratulating him. The guards outside the tower stood at attention as he approached.

"Good morning, Hokage-sama!" they exclaimed in unison, and Naruto just nodded a greeting back as he entered. Then, as he headed up the stairs, he stopped, as memories of Tsunade's last bet assaulted him mind.

"_I bet the Hokage title, brat! You deserve it!"_

Naruto stood there, blinking, Then...

"HOLY SHIT!"

_**--Epilogue--**_

Senju-Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, now 30, the Rokudaime Hokage, was sitting in his office in the Hokage Tower, sipping sake and reading a report, while three Kage Bunshin were off to the side, doing most of the paperwork.

"Hatake Kakashi, requesting permission to retire, instead of taking on another team..."

"Denied," one clone said, looking up.

Another looked up. "Denied."

"Denied," the last clone said, and Naruto nodded, picking up a red stamp and stamping 'DENIED' onto the document, before picking up another one.

"Uchiha Sasuke, requesting permission to rebuild the Konoha Military Police Force..."

"It won't harm our budget," the first clone said and shrugged. "Granted."

"Granted."

"Granted."

Naruto nodded again and picked up a green stamp, this time stamping 'GRANTED' onto this document. He put it away and picked up another document, one that made his eyes widen.

"Senju-Uzumaki-Namikaze Misao, requesting permission to marry Sabaku no Gaara?!"

"DENIED!" the three clones exclaimed in unison as they shot to their feet. Then, one of the clones put a hand on his chin.

"Then again, they are expecting a baby..."

"It'd be good if they were married before it was born."

"And we'd get a new brother-in-law."

Naruto's eyes widened as he heard the clones talk to each other, and a grin appeared on his face. "Hey, guys!" The clones turned to him, puzzled looks on their faces. "You know what that means?" The clones stared for a while. Then, their eyes widened as well, and all four blonds grinned like Cheshire cats.

"BACHELOR PARTY!!"

They all laughed loudly as Naruto picked up his green stamp, and stamped 'GRANTED' onto the paper five times.

"Strippers!"  
"Booze!"

"Part-"

The third clone was interrupted when a knock was heard on the door. With a mental command from Naruto, the three disappeared. "Come in."

The door opened, and his wife Anko stepped in, along with their 11-year old son.

Senju Yahiko had spiky hair, like his father, only it was purple, like his mother's. He stood at 4' 9", and had a shit-eating grin on his face and, unlike his father, only one whisker line on each cheek. His right eye was Naruto's blue, while his left eye was Anko's brown.

When nudged by his mother, Yahiko lost his grin, and stood up straighter.

"Senju Yahiko, here to accept punishment," he said, and Naruto grinned, sitting down in his chair.

"Morning, Ya-kun! Morning, Anko-chan!" he exclaimed as he waved at the two. Then he realized what Yahiko had said, and raised an eyebrow. "What'd you do?"

"Not much..."

"He was standing in the middle of the street, selling pictures of you, from our vacation in Spring, to women," Anko said, making Naruto twitch.

"Fangirls..." he muttered as he stood up, slowly walking over to Yahiko, who gulped. "Ya-kun... What have I told you?"

"N-Not to feed the fangirls..."

"And what did you do?"

"I-I f-fed the f-fangirls..."

Naruto smiled and patted Yahiko on the head. "It'll be cleaning the Monument for you."

"Aw, man..." Yahiko pouted and stuck his hands into his pocket, glaring down at the floor. "I'm a ninja now... I shouldn't have to do crap like this..."

Naruto chuckled. "You're a genin. You'll _only_ do crap like this," he said with a grin, getting an identical grin from Anko, who leaned towards him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Don't be late tonight, love," she said as she started leading Yahiko out of the office. "The whole family finally has a day where everyone is in the village. It's time for a family dinner."

Naruto nodded with a smile and went back to his desk, sitting down and seallessly creating three Kage Bunshin, all of whom went to work immediately.

"Nothing could keep me from a family dinner."

"One's all we've had this year so far, right?" one clone asked, and Naruto nodded. Then, his eyes widened a fraction, and he reached for his sake, taking a sip.

"Tomorrow, alright?"

A chuckle was heard from the window, and Naruto turned his chair to find Uchiha Madara, sometimes known as Tobi, sitting there, sitting in a lazy position with his elbows resting on his knees.

"Alright, I guess I can do that. Interrupting a family dinner wouldn't be very nice, would it?" Madara asked, obviously smiling under his mask. He was no longer acting like the playful Tobi, like he'd done when Naruto first met him. He was more serious, and his voice was darker. However, he was more polite than usual. "And I think our fight would take all day."

"Feeling nostalgic?" Naruto asked, getting a nod from Madara.

"A life and death battle with a Senju... It's been over 50 years... I kinda miss those days. There was less corruption. We fought to the death in the battlefield, and not amongst each other."

"Rumor has it, you, yourself, was corrupted by greed."

"Could you blame me?" Madara asked, shrugging. "The Sharingan is the most powerful doujutsu in the world. The Uchiha were, and still are the greatest bloodline users in the world."

"Too bad being the greatest bloodline user doesn't mean you're the strongest ninja."

Madara nodded sadly. They sat in silence for a while, before Naruto spoke.

"You ever wonder what it'd been like if you hadn't left?"

"Well, the Valley of the End wouldn't exist, that's for sure," Madara said, and they both shared a chuckle. "I think about it every day, Naruto-kun," he said as he got up, ready to leave. "But I wouldn't go back and change it, even if I could."

"I figured as much," Naruto said with another chuckle as he got out of his chair. "Same time tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow," Madara said with a nod, before vanishing.

That night, Naruto was sitting in the great dining room on the first floor of his mansion. Around the table was Sasuke, now a jounin, known as the Demon Eyes of Konoha, Jiraiya, who, despite being beaten hundreds of times, still hadn't suffered a fatal heart attack, Kushina, Misao, now a chunnin, Gaara, a jounin, Anko, Mai and Kurenai.

Also among them was the kids, Yahiko, Tanuki, Taka, Hizuren and Minato.

Tanuki was Naruto and Anko's second son. He was one year younger than Yahiko, and had purple hair tied into a pineapple shape, like his mother, and blue eyes and whisker marks like his father.

Taka and Hizuren were Naruto and Kurenai's children. They were nine-year old identical twins, both of them with spiky, black hair and red eyes. They also had three whisker marks on each cheek.

Minato was named as such, because he, Mai and Naruto's six-year old son, had spiky, blond hair, and sky blue eyes, just like the Yondaime, and unlike Naruto, he didn't have any whisker marks.

Sadly, Sarutobi had died six years prior, from a lung disease that not even Tsunade could cure, which was the reason why Hizuren was named as such. When Sarutobi was diagnosed, Kurenai and Naruto promised that they'd name their first son after him, in honor of one of the greatest Hokages to ever live, Sarutobi Hizuren. Sarutobi fought on for four years, so that he could see the twins be born, and was allowed to name the other twin. He chose Taka. Sarutobi died with a smile on his face, taking a nap on Naruto's porch with the twins in his lap.

Naruto looked around the table and smiled. He'd gained a big family.

"What's wrong, Tou-san?" Hizuren asked, or maybe it was Taka... Naruto wasn't sure... "You look like you've been given a death sentence, or something. Are you dieing?"

Naruto laughed loudly, patting his son on the head. A clockwise swirl in his hair. This was Taka. "Don't worry, Taka! I won't die until all of you are married. Then I might decide to kick the bucket!"

Suddenly, he was bopped on the head by Tsunade, who had just come out of the kitchen. Despite being called Dai Obaa-chan (Great Grandma) by the kids, she couldn't hate them for it. She loved her great grandchildren.

"Stop trying to dissuade your children from getting married one day!"

Naruto grumbled. "Is this how you treat your loving Hokage?" He cleared his throat and grinned at Taka again. "Don't worry, son. I won't die anytime soon."

"You better not!" Yahiko exclaimed from the other end of the table. "If you die, who's gonna teach me the Rasengan?!"

Everyone laughed at the eldest Senju son. Jiraiya was about to speak up, when Yahiko suddenly stood up, pointing at the old pervert.

"I'm not getting taught by that old fart! He gets even more perverted with age!"

"Is this how you treat a great ninja like me?!" Jiraiya roared, standing up. "You sang a different tune when I got you your birthday presents!"

"Of course I did! I had just graduated from the Academy, you old fart! Nothing could bring me down that day!"

Suddenly, Jiraiya was bopped on the head by Tsunade, while Anko smacked the back of Yahiko's head. The two didn't raise their voices for the rest of the evening.

"Hey, Tou-san!"

Naruto looked down at his youngest, Minato, and smiled. "Yes, son?"

"You'll teach me tomorrow, right?" Minato asked with a hopeful look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Minato, but something came up. I'll be busy all day tomorrow. But I'll train you the day after."

"Promise?" Minato asked, pouting. Naruto stared at Minato for a few seconds, before grinning widely.

"Promise!"

The next day, Naruto was sitting on the Shodai's head in the Valley of the End. Suddenly, Madara appeared on the head of his own statue. They nodded a greeting to each other.

"Ready for this, Naruto-kun?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Naruto said as he reached into his coat, taking out his bo-staff and extending it. "Let's get started, shall we? I promised to train Minato tomorrow, and I'd like to get home early so I can get some sleep before the training."

Madara nodded, and the two charged each other, Naruto with his bo-staff, and Madara with a kunai.

'I won't die,' Naruto thought with a smile as they clashed. 'After all, I made a promise.'

--Done--

**I'm done! The Gambler is finally complete! Thank you all for sticking by me, and encouraging me to continue! I must admit, I had my doubts about whether or not this fic was all that good, but you guys stuck by me, and I love you all for that! Give yourselves a pat on the back! Go on! You deserve it! If it wasn't for you guys, I never would have gotten this far! Honestly! Thank you! Shit, I'm crying right now...**

**I LOVE YOU ALL!!!**

**I'm sorry for there not being a big fight scene in this. I tried, and I tried, but I just couldn't do it...**

**Please review.**

**R&R**

**R&R**

**R&R**

**R&R**

**R&R**

**R&R**


End file.
